Page 64 of Broken Blood Ties

“It was an impulsive purchase around the last month of pregnancy for Aoife’s mom. Thought maybe it would make a difference.”

He doesn’t expound, but his eyes flit to Aoife whose legs are bouncing in beat with her chewing. I doubt he wants to, or should, go into more detail with her here. Though, I can’t help but wonder … was he trying to save his relationship with Aoife’s mom? Did he want forever with her?

“I don’t have a mom,” Aoife states plainly. She says it as if she’s telling us she doesn’t have a toothbrush or an easy-bake oven.

“Aoife …” Kieran’s voice trails off. The tips of his ears darken to an unbearable shade of red while the chair beneath him crunches as he shifts.

The teacher in me pipes in. “But you have a dad who loves you so much. It’s better to have one parent who loves you, then two parents who don’t. Don’t you think?” I’d know.

She nods. “It’s okay. I have you and Nanny Allie!”

I smile, glancing at Kieran. His gaze pierces me, but it’s also dulled—almost gloomy. I don’t miss how his facial features take a downward turn. Then, quickly, he knocks back the rest of his liquor.

The second course of lobster bisque comes just in time, and another ten minutes after that the main course arrives—herb-crusted rack of lamb and chicken tenders for Aoife.

Aoife does most of the chatting after the epic failure I had, asking about Kieran’s new boat. She talks about the cookies she and Allie made the other day with M&M’s, and she asks Kieran when Lizzy can come over for another game of Uno. She even invites me.

As I sit here, listening to them, my heart aches. Leaving Boston. My job. My students. It’s not something I want to do, and having to get up in the morning and make my way somewhere else is eating at me. By the time dessert comes, I’m too sick to my stomach to take a bite, and Ineversay no to dessert.

“All right, Aoife. It’s time to get ready for bed,” Kieran says. He places his crumpled cloth napkin, no longer a towering wave, onto his finished chocolate mousse plate and stands.

Aoife, who’s practically falling asleep with the rise and dip of each wave, nods subtly and pushes back from her chair. She moves around the table where I’m sitting across from her and dives into my arms for a hug.

I’ve hugged each of my students before, if they’re okay with it, but this hug with Aoife is consuming me. Her hands are warm against my back as she holds me tight, almost as if she knows I need this. And jeez, do I need this.

“Come on, little love. Let’s head to bed.” Kieran beckons her from my arms.

“Good night, Miss Summer,” Aoife whispers.

“Good night, sweet girl.”

She runs to her father, and he takes her hand guiding her back through the main floor to the stairs that descend.

Angry hot tears well in my eyes, and I bite back the old habit to curse. After seven years, I’m still letting these people control me. I want to scream. To find the person who spotted me here, who knows who I am, and shove them off the back of this boat.

I huff, standing, ready to sulk back to my room, but I’m caught by just how breathtaking the sunset over the ocean is. Bright oranges, fiery reds, and baby pinks blend over the horizon, and I walk to the tip of the bow, sucked in by the watercolor shimmering over the gentle waves. Who cares that it’s early spring and still brisk.

The salty breeze is refreshing, and I inhale the deepest breath I can, feeling it all the way in my gut. We aren’t the only boat in sight, there are a handful of others on the water, but I swear with the calm lapping waves against the hull and the epic painting in the sky, all the other sounds, people, and boats fade away. I wrap my arms around myself and breathe.

Unfortunately, several clinks and clanks interrupt my darn near euphoric experience, and I turn to see a few crew members clearing away the table. One young woman glances up at me, and I walk back toward her, hoping to at least help.

“What can I do?”

“Ye can put this on.” Kieran’s voice comes from behind a tall crew member, and I poke my head to the side to see him walking toward me with a fluffy blanket. He marches up to me, holding it out.

His whiskey-scented breath mixes with the invigorating crispness of the wind stirring in the evening air, causing me to shiver.

“Here,” he says, wrapping the blanket around my shoulders.

I reach up to pull both edges together, further wrapping myself. “Thanks. Did Aoife get to sleep okay?”

“Aye. She loves to sleep on the water.”

Kieran doesn’t move from in front of me. In fact, his stare glides back and forth over my face to the point I have to reach up with my blanket to scratch at it.

“Are ye leavin’, Summer?”

“I-I—” Yes. Maybe. WhatamI doing?

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