Page 135 of Four Fiances & I

“What’s it going to be, Christian? Time’s ticking,” he smirks, placing a hand on Jason's shoulder, holding him in place.

“He won't choose; he’s not got the balls,” Hudson laughs from behind Sean. He pulls a knife from his pocket and holds it to Sean's neck. “I wonder if he will bleed like she did.” Sliding the knife around the side of Sean's neck, Hudson grins. “I love the way she screamed and bled for me. He lifts his hand, suddenly knifeless, as I see blood on his fingers. There's so much of it, and I know it's hers. He lifts his fingers to his lips and licks the blood from them, grinning at me the whole time. “Does she always taste so sweet?”

I go to jump forward, needing to kill him, when Connor places a hand on my shoulder, stopping me.

“Choose.”

The word is barely a whisper, but as it leaves his mouth, I hear another voice that causes every muscle in my body to tighten as my blood runs cold.

“He’s too weak to have any real balls. His Mama made him that way.” I turn to Tommy’s voice as he stands over Maximus. He leans forward so he can talk straight into Maximus’s ear. “You want to be like him? Do you really think your big brother can teach and prepare you for life? You are even weaker than he is.”

“Who’s it going to be, Christian?” Again, Connor's lips move, but it's Hardy I hear. “Who lives and who dies?”

Looking at each of my brothers, my eyes burn from the tears; I’m shaking now for a completely different reason. The excitement and joy have evaporated; all that’s left is fear and despair.

“I can't,” my fifteen-year-old voice whispers. Every second of that night flashes through my mind. None of us are in the tent anymore. We are all in that warehouse where it all began.

“This is the easy bit; you simply decide who lives and who dies,” Connor points out as a sick laugh fills the air and my stomach drops. He takes my hand and places my gun into it. It feels heavier than ever, and I want to drop it as it shakes with my hands.

“Please! He thinks he’s all that, but he’s worthless.” I turn to her voice as my heart crumbles. Carol stands behind Jasmine, who is kneeling with her hands behind her head, her mother holding a gun to it. “You left her to kill her own mother; that’s how weak you are, O’Reilly.”

“Daddy,” the word on Jasmine's lips brings me to my knees as I stare at the four people I love more than anything in this world, all surrounded by people from our past once again, threatening to take them from me.

“Time’s almost up, Christian. Who do you choose?” Hardy squats down at me as he did that night. He pushes a gun into my hand and grins. “Only one can live, so who will it be? Your brothers? Or the daughter of the man you killed?”

I look back up towards Jasmine, whose father is now standing beside her, his arms crossed over his chest as he glares at me.

“Save her, Christian!” I turn to Maximus to find him staring at me. “You always make out you love her more than anything; prove it! You think you love her more than the rest of us do, so prove it!”

“I don’t love her more; we all love her the same!” I argue back.

“That’s bullshit, and you know it!” he yells. “You’ve had no problem defending the way you control us and our relationships with her. So why argue that now? Save her!”

His words hit me like a blow to the chest, and it hurt so bad I check I haven’t been shot.

“I’m sorry.” I look at all three of my brothers, each with a ghost of our pasts behind them.

“We know. It’s okay, Christian.” I look at Sean as he gives me one of his reassuring smiles. “Save her for us.”

“Give Jazzy the best life,” Jason adds, giving me a small nod. “Save her.”

“No.”

All our heads snap to Jasmine as she looks at me, smiling even as Carol pokes her with the gun. “No, Daddy. Save them; you need them more than me,” a single tear slides down her cheek as she tries to reassure me. “Save them, Daddy.”

“I can’t lose you,” I cry, staring at my poor girl as she tries to protect me as she always does. I turn to my brothers to find them all watching me. “Any of you. I’ve failed.”

Taking a deep breath, I lift the gun and place it against my temple. I won’t kill them; I won't let any of them suffer, not when there is a simple answer. Everything that has gone wrong in their lives is because of one person. Me.

“I’ve failed you, and I’m sorry.” Closing my eyes, not wanting to cause them any more pain. Seeing a person's soul leave their body through their eyes is always the worst part; I won’t let them see it with me. I take a deep breath, thinking of the four people in front of me as I try to pull the trigger, but a warm hand touches my face as the gun is forced away from my head. Startled, I open my eyes wide to see the eyes I never thought I would see again.

“Ma?”

“My sweet boy,” my mum smiles, and my heart stops. “My poor, sweet Blackbird.”

I’m frozen as she leans in and kisses the top of my head, as she always would when she found me upset or hurting from something Tommy had put me through.

“I’m sorry, Ma.” The tears flow easily now as I look into her sweet, bright eyes. “I failed you.”

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