Page 63 of Four Fiances & I

“Protecting her? You’ve been putting her in even more danger, you fucking stupid moron!” Jason yells.

“Why do you think I’ve been away so much? Why do you think I never take her out anywhere anymore? The only time I spend with any of you is in this house where we are safe!” Christian shouts.

“Have you got a fucking price on your head?” Maximus's loud voice brings the world to an abrupt standstill. Everyone turns to look at him in unison, but the only person he has his sight on is Christian. Slowly, I force myself to look at Christian, staring at the floor.

“Daddy?” I’m not even sure the word made it past the lump in my throat. Everything around me fades into black when Christian turns his attention to me, and I see Maximus is right.

The lump in my throat thickens as my chest starts to burn with a lack of air. I instinctively try to breathe in, but I can’t.

“Shit,” someone curses as I hear the others move around me as if in another room. My heart’s pounding so hard that I can hear it. I know I should be doing something, anything to get air into my lungs, but all I can see is Christian and that someone wants to take him from me.

“Baby, breathe.” He’s so close now, and I know he has his hands on the top of my arms. He is all I can see as my vision becomes even more blurred.

“Jazzy, look at me.” Jason is beside him, but I’m too focused to see him; all I can see is Christan. With my eyes and chest burning, I subconsciously realise I’m having a panic attack. I know I’m gasping for breath, but nothing is happening; I’m locked in my own body, which is starting to give up.

“Baby, I’m here,” Christian whispers, touching my cheek. “I’m right here, Sweetheart, and I’m not going anywhere.”

Tears are streaming down my face as I continue to try and get some air into my lungs. My panic taking hold. All I can think about is that someone wants to take my daddy from me. Someone wants to take another person from me.

No.

That one word sounds louder in my head than anything else.

No.

It’s there again, and this time, I throw all my panic into the small hole my strength has created. Sounds start coming back to me, and I realise I can hear people arguing and talking over each other.

“Baby, you need to breathe.”

“Shorty needs you to fuck off, this is your fault!”

“Shouting at each other isn’t going to help!” Jason growls through his teeth before looking back at me.

I try to slow my breathing a little, trying to calm my racing heart. My chest is on fire as I struggle to see anything through the darkness. I try again to slow my breath, and again, I can take in a little more each time.

“Get back all of you,” Sean snaps as he pushes Christian out of my narrow tunnel of vision. His face appears in front of me, even disfigured through the fog I would know him anywhere. “Get over there and stay there until I tell you!” He doesn’t wait for a reply before cupping my face between his hands and looking deep into my eyes.

“I know you are scared and want answers, which you will get, but we need to calm you down first, Princess.” His voice is soft and soothing, which I need right now.

Again, I try to slow my breathing, and Sean gives me a reassuring smile.

“You’re attempting to take control, aren’t you? I can see you fighting. Do you want me to help?” I nod, and Sean smiles again. “Okay, close your eyes, Princess.” I do as he asks without question. He keeps holding my face with one hand and lifts my hand with his other. Once he has hold of my wrist, he lets go of my face, ensuring that he always touching me so I know he’s there even when I can't see him.

“Good girl, Princess, keep trying to breathe.” He repositions my hand so it's up as if to high-five someone, and I spread my fingers out. “Do you remember what to do?” he asks gently as I feel him running his finger up and down mine. He used this technique one night when I woke from a nightmare after they rescued me. “Breathe in as my finger goes up and out when it travels down.” Starting on my wrist, he traces the outline of my thumb as I try to breathe. Once at the top of my thumb, his finger slides down to the skin between my fingers, and I attempt to breathe out. He repeats this until he gets to my wrist on the other side and then starts making his way back to my thumb, going up and down my fingers. Slowly, I begin to control my breathing a little better and soon, I’m almost breathing normally.

“That’s it, Princess, you’ve got it,” Sean encourages. He continues running his finger up and down mine until I ball my hand into a fist, signalling that I’m okay. Taking one more deep breath, I let it out slowly before finally opening my eyes.

I blink until my eyes adjust to the light in the room, and I can see better; I lift my head and look at Sean, who is kneeling on the floor before me. I have no idea when I went from standing to sitting. Sean holds my water out, and I take a small sip.

“That’s it, Princess, take another sip for me.” I do as I’m told as Sean runs a hand over my head. I want to thank him for helping me through the panic attack. I want to tell him I love him and am so grateful for him knowing exactly what I need when I need it. But I can’t. There’s only one thing I want to say right now. Only one word matters.

With unsteady legs, I climb to my feet. Sean tries to help me, but I shake my head at him before standing tall. Looking to the other end of the room, I see the other three watching us, all looking terrified and at a loss for what to do. Right now, I don’t care how they feel; for once, what I think is the priority, and I will make myself heard.

I walk to Christian standing behind his brothers, for once not leading them like he always has. Jason and Maximus both part as I reach them, giving me access to Christian. I stop in front of him and can see the shame and loss of pride on his face. I’m furious.

The sound of flesh hitting flesh sounds out in the silence of the room, shocking me when I feel the pain in my palm. Christian stands with his hand over his cheek, his eyes wide with shock. I step forward to close the distance between us as Jason and Maximus step closer.

“No.” I shake my head as I glare at him.

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