Page 57 of Hold the Line

Deke

And that was that. No trace he’d ever been here. Even the sheets had been changed. Deacon was gone.

Saturday afternoon, I returned home to flowers in my planters—flowers I hadn’t put there. It might’ve been too early in the season for them, but they were bright and colorful and made me smile.

I checked my doorbell camera app. Sure enough, there was video of Deacon on my stoop, planting the flowers.

As I stood there looking at the flowers, my smile faded.

How dare he?

I didn’t want this kind of gesture from him. Being sweet after making me feel so rotten was like rubbing salt in the wound. I had to move on, but he kept reminding me of what could have been—or what I’dthoughtwe could have been.

I spun in a circle, at a loss. Deke’s truck wasn’t in the driveway. Even if I wanted to tell him to shove his flowers, I couldn’t. Not that I would have. The flowers were innocent in this.

Just as I decided to go inside to cool my jets, the rumble of Deke’s truck stopped me. Moments later, he parked in the drive and hopped out. He lifted his head, spotting me on my landing. I was too far away to read his exact expression, but he didn’t avert his gaze. We both stood staring at each other for a long, drawn-out moment. So long, I began to think he might turn right back around and hop into his truck. Eventually, Deke moved, slowly approaching the stairs.

I backed up until I hit my door. I had no clue what I wanted to say, but I knew somethinghadto be said.

He arrived on my stoop, rooting himself two feet away. Dark circles ringed his eyes, and his cheeks were sunken. He’d lost weight he hadn’t been able to afford to lose while he’d been sick, but I wondered if he was fully better. Probably not. He should have been resting. He should have been—

Deke finally spoke, breaking me out of my worried spiral. “Almost ten years ago, you asked me to catch a movie with you, and I said no.”

He really didn’t need to remind me of that. “I remember. It sucked.”

“Yeah. For me too. I would have given any damn thing to be able to say yes.” He shoved his hands in his pockets, a pained expression crinkling his brow. “I don’t know why, but messing with me has always been one of my brother’s favorite pastimes, and I knew, if word got around I went out with you, he’d find a way to ruin it. Having Richie’s attention on you has never ended well. I couldn’t do that to you.”

“I—”didn’t know what to say. “It would have been good to know that back then. I just thought you didn’t like me that way.”

He took a step forward. “That’s the furthest thing from the truth. I’d never let myself like anyone until you, and that was less about letting myself and more me being bowled over. I used to think about you all the time. Changed my route to class so I’d pass you. When you smiled at me, it made me feel important in a way I never had.” He chuffed. “And haven’t since. Not until you shined your light on me after I moved in here.”

I rubbed my chest, but it did nothing to alleviate the tightness. “Why are you talking about this now? What does it matter?”

“It matters because a lot’s changed”—he moved into my space, so close, his toes hit mine—“but two things haven’t: how I feel about you and my asshole brother.”

I closed my eyes. If I allowed myself to continue looking at his face bathed in sincerity, I wouldn’t be able to stop from leaning into him. “You lied to me.”

“I did, and I regretted it even before I did it. I thought I could meet Richie and keep him separate from what I’m trying to build for myself here, so it never touched you.” Rocking back on his heels, he sighed. “I should’ve told you where I was going and why, but all I could think about was keeping him far, far away from you, Joy, this town.”

“Lying to me isn’t protecting me.”

“Know it.” He started to bow his head but raised it again, keeping his eyes on mine. “I’ll never forget the look on your face that night.Never.”

I lifted a hand to ward off him and all the feelings flooding me. “I still don’t get why you’re telling me all this.”

He was direct and unwavering. “I want another chance.”

My heart kicked up even as my eyes narrowed on him. “I don’t understand why you’re trying now. That night, you didn’t even apologize to me, and now you’re here, planting flowers, being sweet, and—what am I supposed to do with this, Deacon? How do I trust this one-eighty? I saw you ona date.”

He shook his head hard. “Wasn’t a date, Phoebe. There’s only been one woman who’s ever turned my head, and that’s you. Richie blindsided me with that woman, and I left as soon as I could. I couldn’t even tell you her name or anything else about her. But when I saw you, I couldn’t acknowledge you. Not with Richie there. Knowing you mean something to me, I don’t know what he would have done, and I don’t care to find out.” He scrubbed the side of his face. “It’s no excuse. I made the wrong choice by not telling you I was meeting Richie. I got myself where I am.”

“Whereweare,” I whispered.

His head jerked, recrimination twisting his features. “Where we are, yeah. I got us here. Messed it all up. I was going to let you go. If I were better, I would. But for once in my life, I want something good. I will work my ass off to be worthy of all your good. I’m asking if we can try to start over. You don’t have to answer me now. Think about it as long as you need. I’ll be here. I’m not going anywhere.”

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