Page 21 of Feels Like Coming Home

“I have a friend here. Piper is with me.”

“I don’t see her anywhere…” He looked around the room which was quickly dwindling in numbers. People were saying their goodbyes to Connor’s parents and exiting, their time to mourn Connor coming to an end.

“It doesn’t matter if she is or not, what the hell are YOU doing here, Cam? I don’t remember telling you about when this was orwherefor that matter.”

That was the thing that stuck with me the most,how did he find out where Connor’s funeral was?I was sure I hadn’t told him any details about the service, just that I was in town for it and that I would be leaving on Monday as soon as everything was over. How the hell did he figure out where to go?

“I looked it up.” He shrugged his shoulders as he spoke as if it were no big deal.

“You looked it up?” My head snapped to look at him finally, not believing what I had heard.

“Yeah, I looked it up yesterday after you left the coffee shop and decided I should come and be a friend, see if you needed any kind of support during the service.” Hearing the concern in his voice brought me back to high school for a fraction of a second and how much he acted like my protector back then.

Now it just felt uncomfortable and sour.

“You mentioned yesterday how you weren’t super stoked to have to come to this, so I wanted to come and be an extra layer of support if you needed it.”

I tried to avoid the warm feeling growing in my belly as he gave me a gentle smile. As I listened to him talk, I could feel his concern and worry for me. Cam had hurt me in the past. But now, something about the way he looked at me told me he was truly here to make sure I was okay.

He’d always been like that before that night our freshman year—a protector. Growing up, I always knew that Cam was there if I needed him. Even when I didn’t, because I could take care of myself, he was always there, just in case. He would stand up for me even if I wasn’t around and would kick someone’s ass if I asked him to. It was one of the biggest reasons why I fell in love with him all those years ago.

Seeing him now, sitting in front of me, looking at me with those deep emerald eyes that I could pick out in a lineup, made me remember just how much he meant to me. The feelings of grief for Connor and nostalgia for what Cam and I used to have started to mix, making my stomach churn and for a moment I thought I might be sick.

Cam must have sensed this because he reached across the space between us and put his hand on my knee. More concern grew on his face as his eyebrows met in the middle of his forehead, “Haley…are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine,” I said quickly. “Today has just been a lot. Listen, thank you so much for coming and being willing to be here for me, but I'm okay…” I put a hand on top of his which was a mistake because as soon as I did, I thought my hand might catch fire from the energy that surged between our hands.

“I need to talk to Connor’s parents and ask if they need anything from me before I head back to my hotel. Piper and I are leaving first thing in the morning and I still need to go to their house and grab some stuff I left there before the service.” I stood from my chair, pulling my hand from his, and watched as he matched my movements.

“Haley—” he started to say something but I cut him off.

“Camden, don’t.” I didn’t want to hear what he had to say. Fear of what he might bring up nearly brought me to my knees and I didn’t have it in me to hash out our issues now.

“I can’t do this right now. Please, just let me go.”

He chewed on his bottom lip and gave me a small nod. When he didn’t respond, I turned away from him again.

As I walked toward the door, I looked over my shoulder to find Cam watching me from the table we were just at, his brown hair was messed up as if he had just run his fingers through it. I paused for just a second, taking in all his features and judging myself for feeling the slightest bit of attraction toward him.

But I wasn’t taking in his image because I was going to go back to my hotel and get myself off on a fantasy with him in it. No, I was taking in his image because I didn’t want to forget what he looked like now, as a grown man. I was taking in a man who was once a boy I had grown up with and spent so many of my early years with. A boy who meant so much to me before one stupid night together changed everything, and he broke my heart.

I was taking in every part of him now because I promised myself in that moment that I would never see Camden Johnson again. I couldn’t.

Not if I wanted to protect my heart, which was something I desperately needed to do.

[PART TWO]

• Six months later •

11

HALEY | THEN

Ipaused, holding my phone in my hand, debating whether or not I should even read his message. We hadn’t spoken to one another in almost four months after Cam cut me off for what I said about his girlfriend. It’s not my fault she’s the kind of girl who looks like someone needs to get her down and scrub her. It’s just my fault that I texted him that as a joke not knowing they were together, and she would read it.

From that point on, Cam and I were no longer speaking.

For a while, I thought it was because of what I said. Turns out it was because she had forbade him from talking to me if he still wanted to date her. And I only found this out because one of his teammates, who also sat next to me in Chem, told me he had overheard Cam talking about it in the locker room. Sure it hurt that Cam wasn’t speaking to me, but it hurt even more that he had chosen her over me.

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