Page 35 of Feels Like Coming Home

After she pulled away, she walked toward her room before grabbing the keys to my car so we could drive back to Coastal Brews. On our way up the road, my mind had already moved on to the coffee I was going to be getting tomorrow.

And the person I was hoping I’d run into again when I did.

19

CAM | NOW

The next morning, I woke up before my alarm again. This time, because I couldn’t stop thinking about what happened yesterday.

I saw her. Fuck, Ihung outwith her and she didn’t freak out or call me a creep when I told her how I found her. I would have understood if she did freak out—I did kind of hunt her down like a stalker. Not because I was trying to be weird, I just wanted to see how she was doing. I needed to know how she was. I needed to know that she was okay.

I could see the sadness on her face in the photo online, but seeing it in real life almost broke me.

Growing up, I’d always taken it as my responsibility to make sure Haley was safe and happy. But it was clear to me that right now, she wasn’t. No matter how brave of a face she tried to put on, I could see right through it. She couldn’t hide anything from me, and I didn’t want her to.

Thinking back to our conversation, I was happy she had been honest with me about how she was doing. It would’ve been easier for her to keep her true feelings and struggles to herself, but she didn’t. That was something we’d never done with one another, keep the hard stuff hidden. Not growing up, and clearly, not now either. I smiled to myself as I thought about it. It felt good knowing that Haley felt like she could still let me carry some of her baggage for her. We had grown distant after that night in her dorm room and fully grew apart once she got together with Connor. But based on our interactions yesterday, it was like we were never apart at all.

Still thinking about my morning with her, I rolled off the king-size, overstuffed hotel mattress and hopped in the shower. It was still early enough to where the sun wasn’t up yet, but that didn’t stop me from wanting to start the day anyway.

I showered, more quickly than normal because I didn’t want to give myself enough time to get off on the images I held in my head of Haley. Just thinking about her freckled face and warm smile was enough to make me hard. It had been a minute since I had been with anyone, so it didn’t take much. After stepping out of the shower, I pulled on a pair of running shorts and a long-sleeved shirt. Then, I pulled a hat onto my head and grabbed my headphones, popping them into my ears as I walked out the door.

Normally I would lose myself in my music. But as I ran today, I got lost in my thoughts about Haley and our time spent together from the day before.

She looked as beautiful as she did when I saw her in that coffee shop back in Charlotte. Her hair was longer than normal and I ventured to guess she hadn’t had it cut since losing Connor. It still took my breath away. I wanted to run my fingers through it, pushing it out of her face to reveal the freckles on her cheeks and her round, hazel eyes. While she looked similar to the girl I grew up with, she also looked different. More mature, more grown up, and somehow, even more intoxicating than I’d remembered her.

My dick reacted to the thought of her and I had to awkwardly adjust myself as I ran past an older woman watering her garden, giving her an uncomfortable wave as I passed.

For fuck’s sake, man, control yourself. You’re going to make the little old ladies keel over with your indecency so early in the morning.

I continued running, wavering back and forth between thinking of how happy I’d been to have found her so quickly and of the things I wanted to do with her. The logically centered voice in my head reminded me that she was recently widowed and most definitely not looking for anything so soon. The other voice in my head, the one that I’m pretty sure speaks from my dick, was telling me that I could give her a hundred and one reasons not to be sad anymore.

You sick bastard.

While this finally felt like my chance to be with her, to be the man she always wanted me to be, I also didn’t want to rush anything. She was hurting, she told me as such yesterday, and I didn’t want to be another thing that brought her pain. It didn’t matter that I wanted to invite her back to my hotel room and do things to her I’d only ever been able to dream of. I wasn’t going to be that guy. She needed time to grieve and I wasn’t going to rob her of that time.

As I turned another corner, I remembered the part of our conversation where she told me she was in therapy. It surprised me when she admitted this, because growing up, Haley was never one to accept help, even when she could’ve used some. I smiled as I jogged down a sandy path and was proud of her for getting help when she needed it.

After forty-five minutes, the sun was starting to come up for the day and I was starting to get hungry. I jogged back through town to head back to my hotel. Once in my room, I took another shower, changed into fresh clothes, then set out again for the second time. I walked toward the coffee shop to get something to eat and was silently hoping I would see Haley sitting at a table, just like I had found her yesterday.

I opened the door to Coastal Brews eagerly and couldn’t deny the sense of disappointment I felt when I didn’t see her anywhere inside. It wasn’t as late in the morning as it had been yesterday when I found her, so maybe that’s why she wasn’t here.

Once it was my turn to order, I got myself a breakfast burrito and a plain black coffee. There was only one table open so I sat down and watched the windows, hoping to see a flash of cinnamon-colored hair through them. It wasn’t long before a server brought me my food and I ate it without rushing, hoping that if I took my time, Haley might show up.

I sat at the table for well over an hour, holding my breath every time the door opened. When the person blatantly waiting for my table sighed loudly from the corner for the third time, staring at me while they did, I decided to call it quits.

I rose from my seat and motioned to the person that they could finally have my table. I started walking toward the entrance of the small coffee shop and reached my hand towards the door to pull it open. I wasn’t paying attention as I walked through the door because I was too wrapped up in thinking about Haley when I slammed into someone who was walking into the door at the same time I was trying to exit.

“Oof! Oh my god, watch where you’re—Cam?”

Looking down, I saw the cinnamon-colored hair I had been hoping to see all morning and my insides started to warm as I heard her say my name. I took a step back, my arms on hers to help steady her, and smirked.

“Hey there, Jones.”

“You know it’s polite to let people walk through the door when you open it for them, Johnson. It prevents situations like this from happening.” Her voice was short but playful.

This girl was trying to fuck with me.

“How do you know that wasn’t some secret ploy to get you in my arms?” I gave her a cocky smile and leaned close to her face as I spoke.So much for taking it slow, you asshole.

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