Page 40 of Feels Like Coming Home

Dinner went betterthan I expected it to even though I came here with no expectations at all. Haley and Piper offered me a beer and poured themselves some wine as we ate around the kitchen table together and talked. It felt as if we’d all been friends for years.

I had picked up takeout from an Italian place down the street because I remembered how much Haley loved pasta and garlic bread when we were growing up. When she saw all the food, she gasped and her hands flew to her face in excitement. I almost melted into a puddle right there in the middle of the kitchen. I loved seeing Haley happy, but I loved it even more when I was the one to make her that way.

We all sat at the table that was next to a giant window overlooking the ocean, the sliding glass doors were opened to let in the late ocean air. I was sitting across from Haley at the table and every time there was a breeze, I would get a whiff of her perfume. I had to slyly adjust myself in my seat a few times because of the small bulge that was threatening to give me away.

Piper, Haley, and I talked about their work with She Who Thrives and I told them about Harvey and Coach Mike. Haley didn’t act the least bit surprised about me being in Charlotte, and it made me wonder if she had kept up with my career after we had separated.

Piper was funny and quick-witted, and I was starting to like her even more as Haley’s best friend. I could tell how close they were, almost like sisters, and knew that she was a big reason why Haley was doing as well as she was.

The three of us talked and ate for over an hour. When we were done, I offered to clear the plates and bag up the food while the girls finished their wine. I was returning to the table, a fresh beer in hand, when Piper looked toward Haley and then to me, and let out a huge, overly dramatized yawn.

“Ahhhhh…wow. I am beat. This wine just took it RIGHT out of me. I think I'm going to turn in for the night and head to bed. You two enjoy your drinks now.” A devilish smile was on her lips as she stood from the table and sauntered away, leaving Haley and me alone at the table. Haley looked dumbstruck by Piper and turned to me with an awkward smile on her face.

“Ha…uhh…okay then. It’s just you and me then I guess.” She drummed her fingers on the sides of her wine glass and looked around the room anxiously. I smiled to myself because we were alone, but also because I thought Haley’s discomfort of us being alone was cute.

Stop it, you dickwad. She’s a widow, remember?! Her husband just died! You shouldn’t want to be alone with her. Stop. Thinking. With. Your. Dick.

“It’s just you and me I guess.” My words came out low and sultry.You should be ashamed of yourself.

“You want any coffee?” Haley offered, finishing her wine in two big gulps and standing from her seat with urgency.

I tilted my almost full beer toward her. “I’m fine.”

“Oh…right. I’m just going to make some for myself then. You wanna go out on the porch? We can talk out there and not have to worry about keeping Piper up.”

“Sure, I’ll meet you out there.” I headed out onto the back porch and leaned against the porch railing, taking a sip of my beer as I listened to the waves move in and out along the shore. I looked out into the distance, trying to figure out how far my eyes could see in the darkness.

The night air was crisp, not cold but not warm either, and I could hear people out on the beach enjoying the mild evening. As I was taking another swig of my beer, I heard footsteps behind me and the sound of the sliding door being shut. I turned to see Haley, freshly changed into new clothes, and holding a cup of coffee and a blanket. She smiled at me when our eyes met and moved toward the swinging bench that sat to the side of the porch.

“Wanna sit?” she offered as she sat down and tucked her legs under herself. She tossed the blanket over her lap and held it out for me, giving me the option to sneak in under it with her.

I took it.

We sat on the swing together, my feet gently swaying us back and forth for a few minutes, before either of us spoke. It reminded me of all those nights we would hang out after my football games on Friday night. Haley would come over to my house and we would sit on my back porch, just like this, and just be. I didn’t realize how much I missed that until now.

“Can I ask you a question?” Haley broke the silence but didn’t look at me. Her eyes were fixed straight out toward the water.

“Sure.” I kept the swing moving with my foot and watched her out of the corner of my eye.

“How’s life been?” She turned to look at me and I could see in her eyes that she was thinking about all the time that’s passed between us. After I left her dorm room that night, we never saw each other again. I was an idiot, and leaving her like that was the biggest regret of my life.

I sighed and looked back toward the sand. “Well, I’m thirty-two, playing professional football making millions of dollars a year, and the only major commitment I have is my job.”

Haley nodded her head and chewed on her bottom lip. “Millions of dollars a year, huh? Just to throw a ball around?”

I chuckled and took a sip of my beer which was starting to get warm in my hand.

“Yep…just to throw a ball around.” I looked at Haley who was smiling into her coffee cup.

“Ever think about adding any other commitments to your list?” She didn’t say what she wanted to ask, but I knew what she was getting at.

“All the time. My friend Harvey has three extra commitments, a wife and two kids, whom he goes home to daily. I’ve always wanted that in my life.” My words came out earnestly because it was true. I had always wanted a family.

“What’s stopped you from having it?”

“I guess I’ve just been waiting on the right woman to come along and be worth the commitment.” My eyes were on her and when I spoke, she looked up at me and met my gaze. We were sitting close enough together that if I made one swift move, my lips would be on hers.

Haley swallowed hard and spoke again, “Are…are you happy at least?”

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