Page 43 of Feels Like Coming Home

I could be her friend.

“Yeah…yeah, you’re right man. I'm being stupid. Sorry for calling you and waking you up. You can go back to sleep now.”

“I’m serious, Camden. You need to leave her alone. She needs time to heal and get past this before she can really be with anyone and honestly, she might not ever be ready to be with another person. I don’t want to see you get hurt if she isn’t ready and you are.” Harvey had just given me a verbal spanking but was still my friend enough to care about how I would fare in all of this.

“Thanks, Harvey, I appreciate that.”

“You’re welcome…and Camden?” Harvey said.

“Yeah, Harv?”

“I fucking hate you.” The phone went dead.

I laughed as I looked at my phone before plugging it in. I started to pull off my shoes and my shorts and fully undressed by taking off my shirt. As I pulled it up and over my head, I hesitated and gave it a sniff. It smelled like her. I don’t know how, but the scent of Haley lingered on my shirt so I pulled it back down over my head and left it on as I got into bed.

Maybe Harvey was right, maybe I needed to focus on being her friend. I could be her friend, hell, we were friends for eighteen years before I went and fucked it up. I could do it right this time.

I would do it right this time.

As I drifted to sleep, I tucked my nose into my shirt and breathed deeply, inhaling Haley with each breath.

I can be her friend, I thought as I dozed off. I could be her friend…and then maybe someday, I could have her as more than just my friend too.

22

HALEY | NOW

It had been a few days since the night on the front porch with Cam. I hadn’t seen him once since he flashed me a grin that made my insides melt. I could still feel his strong hand squeezing mine even though it had been days since he touched it. Once he’d gone, I went inside and internally panicked about the entire exchange.

What he’d said, how I thought he was going to kiss me, how I kind of wanted him to kiss me, all of it. I paced the living room for almost an hour after he’d left, battling the voices screaming in my head. Ones telling me I should have let him kiss me and ones on the opposing side telling me I was a terrible wife and horrible human for how I was treating Connor. I couldn’t shake the feeling that I was doing something wrong, being unfaithful in some way, for how I felt about Cam. I tried to explain my feelings to Piper in the morning and she told me I should set up a time with Deborah.

She probably wasn’t wrong.

I half expected to see him the next morning when I went down to Coastal Brews for my morning coffee, but I didn’t. Nor did I see him the day after that when I decided I needed to take a break from conference planning and go for a walk. By the end of the third day of not seeing him, I was starting to think he had left town without telling me.

I wasn’t surprised by the thought, but it still stung. That was Cam’s M.O.…get me on the hook, make me think he’s changed, and then leave without notice. The man literally shows up unannounced and leaves just the same.

My alarm had gone off this morning promptly at 6:45 but I was already awake and staring at the clock, waiting for the alarm to sound. When it did, I slammed my hand down to turn it off, taking some of my pent-up aggression out on the unsuspecting clock.

Flinging off the comforter, I stood up from the king-size bed in my room and walked to the bathroom, passing a window as I went. It looked bright outside already, the sun starting to rise and peek out from behind the morning clouds. If it were any later in the year, the sun would be halfway in the sky by now but it was still only the middle of January.

I headed into the bathroom, feeling grumpy and annoyed, to take a long, hot shower. The water burned my skin and it was still a bright shade of pink by the time I got dressed and headed toward the coffee pot in the kitchen. How could Cam just leave?Again?!We weren’t fucking kids anymore, the least he could’ve done was say goodbye.

I don’t know how you expect him to do that though,the voice inside my head said.You changed your number after college and never gave him your new one.

I walked down the hallway that connected the bedrooms to the main part of the house and noticed Piper’s bedroom door was still closed which meant she was still sleeping.

One major difference between Piper and me was that she’s a night owl and I'm an early bird. When we roomed together freshman year, there were countless nights when she would be going to bed as I was waking up for the day.

If I were in a better mood, I would walk down to Coastal Brews and grab us both a coffee and a pastry for Piper.

I sulked through the house and passed the front door, well on my way to make myself my morning coffee, when something through the pane of glass in the door caught my eye. Halting on my heels, I leaned back and turned my head to look through the glass a little more closely. The crystallized window of the old beach bungalow made it hard to see whatever was sitting on my porch, so I opened the door and looked down at the front stoop.

Sitting there with a note stapled to it was a large brown paper bag and a carrier tray with two coffees tucked inside. I looked up and down the street, which was empty, before picking up the bag and tearing the note off to read it.

Went for my morning run today and thought I would bring this by for you (and Piper). Iced caramel macchiato with almond milk. I know it’s your favorite.

-Johnson

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