Page 5 of Feels Like Coming Home

Doyou remember when you were little at the local pool and you and your friend were underwater trying to talk to one another? They would look at you under the water and scream as loud as they could but what you heard was almost completely indistinguishable and muddled?

That’s how I felt when I listened to the man on the phone tell me that Connor had been in an accident on his way to the office. That almost indistinguishable gurgle is all I heard as Piper drove me to the emergency room where they said he’d been taken. And it's all I heard when the surgeon finally came out seven hours later, to tell me that she had done everything she could to save him, but it wasn’t enough.

“His car flipped four times.”

“We did everything we could.”

“He didn’t feel a thing.”

“I’m so sorry, but he’s gone.”

I continued to feel like I was underwater, unable to hear or feel anything real for the next few days. People came to see me. My mother came and stayed with me. Piper asked if there was anything she could do for me. But she couldn’t. None of them could. Because nothing could bring Connor back to me.

My husband.

My best friend.

My biggest supporter and number one fan.

The first real man to love me exactly as I was and not leave me for something else.

Gone.

4

CAM | THEN

Iwas standing at my locker, swapping out my books when I took a quick look at my phone. We weren’t allowed to be on our phones as ninth graders, so everyone just kept theirs in their lockers and checked them between classes. As long as Ms. Daniels didn't see you, you were normally okay.

I flipped my phone over and saw a new notification:

I felt a smile creep onto my face as I unlocked my phone to read it. Haley and I had been friends since kindergarten and I always called her Jones when we were with other people, like a pet name, because I knew it annoyed her. In retaliation, she started calling me Johnson. When we were alone, we were Haley and Cam—only she was allowed to call me Cam—but with other people, we were Jones and Johnson.

I read the text message from her and laughed. Haley always made me laugh.

Oh my god someone needs to tell Hunter Ryans he needs to shower in the morning. I can smell him from my desk.

Maybe you should tell him that tomorrow when he sits in front of you again.

Maybe you should tell him that at football practice after school. He’s your teammate after all. I’m just the poor sucker who has to sit behind him in History.

I laughed again, imagining her sitting behind Hunter trying to breathe through her mouth and cover her nose the entire forty-five minutes of class.

As I read her text, I realized that I hadn’t seen her today which was weird. We always met at my locker before first period but she never showed up.

Hey, why haven’t I seen you yet today?

Doctor's appointment. My mom just dropped me off before last period.

Is everything okay? Why did you need to go to the doctor?

I typed back quickly.

Ever since my sister had gotten sick a few years ago, any mention of the doctor put me on edge. Haley had been an amazing friend to me during that time and was the only reason I got through my sister's treatment without completely losing my mind. My sister was the single most important person in my life and watching her battle cancer at such a young age was hard on me.

“I just needed to get my yearly physical and this was the soonest my mom could get me in,” I heard from behind me, looking up from my phone and following the sound of her voice.

I almost choked on my own tongue when I saw her.

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