Page 57 of Feels Like Coming Home

“Haley…are you okay? Did I hurt you? Oh my god, if I hurt you…”

I rolled over to face him again and put my hand on his cheek, trying to dispel his concern. “No, Cam, you didn’t hurt me, I promise.” I sniffed hard, trying to collect myself before completely losing it.

“Then what’s wrong, why are you upset?” His deep emerald eyes swelled with concern. This man, just looking at him now, I could tell how much he cared about me. I looked down at my hands before speaking because the thought of saying this to Cam’s face was almost too much.

“It’s just…this is my first time since losing Connor. And while it was amazing and it was something I wanted, I did…it's just also something I didn’t see myself doing so soon after losing him. I feel like I'm betraying him or like I don’t love him enough to not be with someone else like this again. I miss him so much. And I’m embarrassed I'm having this conversation with you now, after what just happened.” Tears streamed down my face and I brought my hands to cover my eyes, the embarrassment taking over. I can’t believe I'm talking about this with Cam after he made me orgasm.

Twice.

I felt his arm reach across me and then he pulled the sheet over both of us so we were covered. A tender act of respect and care that made me cry even harder.

“Come here, Jones.” His arm looped under my head and pulled me onto my side so my face was facing his chest. He shimmied closer to me and turned onto his side so we were now chest to chest. Wrapping his other arm over my waist, he pulled me close as I continued to sob. “Shhh…it’s okay.” He stroked my hair and kissed the top of my head.

“Can I say something?” I nodded my head under his arms which were still wrapped around me. “I can’t pretend like I know what you’re going through, but I want you to know that you shouldn’t feel embarrassed. You lost someone really important to you and healing from that is hard. But I'm here for you in whatever way you need from me to work through this.”

“Are you only saying that because we just had sex?” I squeaked through more tears.

Cam laughed and I moved at the weight of it.

“No, Jones. I’m not just saying that because we just had sex. I’m saying that because I care about you. And I want you to know that I didn’t track you down to this small town just so I could get in your pants.” He kissed my head again and I felt my heart swell in my chest.

“I don’t know much about Connor, but I know how much he meant to you”—his voice trailed off—“and if you wanted to tell me more about him, you can.”

The tears were starting to let up and I used my hands as best as I could to wipe my eyes. I squirmed in Cam’s arms as he was still wrapped around me like a safety blanket.

“That means a lot, Cam, thank you. For now, I just want you to hold me.” I nuzzled my face back into his chest and closed my eyes. Cam kissed my forehead and then I felt his chin on top of my head.

“I can do that, Jones,” he whispered. “Anything for you. Forever and always.”

29

CAM | NOW

Iwoke up with the feeling of something wrapped around my body.

Looking through partially closed eyes, I realized it was Haley’s arm, looping itself around my torso from behind. I shifted slightly, feeling her head tucked against my back, and flipped myself around so I could see her. She was breathing heavily, still sleeping, and I noticed the sheet had slipped low, exposing her breast just enough to see her nipples.

Ignoring the erection I suddenly had, I pulled the sheet back up so she was covered, and ran my fingers along her arm. After she cried last night, I held her close until she told me she was okay. I then helped her get cleaned up with a warm washcloth before we got settled in bed. Then, she nuzzled herself back into my chest and fell asleep as I held her.

The image of her lying next to me now took my breath away.

Her cinnamon-colored hair radiated out behind her like ribbons blowing in the wind. Her freckles ran across her face like stars across the night sky, and I wanted to kiss each and every one of them.

My eyes peered down her arm and I gently pressed my finger into the moles that popped up on her skin every few inches. A piece of hair had fallen on her face as she slept, so I pushed it back behind her ear. I didn’t want anything to block the image of Haley from my sight. As I pushed the hair behind her ear, she stirred next to me.

“Hi.” Her groggy voice came out dry and raspy, her throat still dry from her sobs last night.

“Hey, beautiful,” I hummed before leaning in and pressing my lips to her forehead. She replied with an audible, happy “hmph” and hearing the sound made my heart beat faster.

“How’d you sleep?” I asked her, running my fingers through her soft hair. She shifted and pulled the sheet a little closer to her chin. It made me feel better that I had covered her before she had fully woken up.

“I slept good. You kept me very warm.” A smile formed on her mouth and she wiggled her body even closer to mine.

“I’m glad.” I couldn’t hide the pride in my voice. I lifted my chin to rest it on the top of her head. I like how she felt like this, tucked away and safe next to me.

“How…how are you?” I wasn’t sure if now was the best time to bring up what happened last night, but I decided to do it anyway. I didn’t want things to be weird between us and I also wanted to make sure she was okay.

“I’m okay. I’m mortified. But I’m okay.” She moved out from under me and started to roll so she was facing away from me.

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