Page 7 of Feels Like Coming Home

I finally placed her across the room at a table with her friends, staring down at her phone, and texting me back.

What did they say?

Nothing, it doesn’t matter.

Clearly it did if it made you make that face you do when you’re pissed. It’s a cross between ‘I’m constipated’ and ‘Watch out, I'm about to kill you.’

I looked up at her after reading her text and saw she was looking back at me, smiling but also looking concerned. I didn’t want to tell her what had been said, but I didn’t want to worry her either.

I hesitated before texting her back.

Apparently people noticed your outfit today.

What the hell does that mean? What people?

I looked at her again and watched as she adjusted her skirt and tucked her bra strap back under her sleeve.

Just some of the guys is all. I guess Sean liked it enough to talk about you in Chem.

I hit send and held my breath. Both because I didn’t want her feelings to be hurt but also because I didn’t want her to be happy that Sean had noticed her.

Gag, Sean’s gross and such a dick. I overheard him talking about what he and Jill did under the bleachers over the summer and I was crushed for her. No guy should ever talk about a girl like he does, it’s degrading.

I exhaled deeply. Thank god she wasn’t excited he was talking about her. Wait, why did I care? I shouldn’t care, she’s my friend.

You don’t talk about girls like that, do you Cam?

She sent before I could reply.

No, I would never. My mom would kill me and I have a sister. If I ever heard a guy talking about her in the same way Sean talks about girls, I would kill him.

Is that why you looked like you wanted to kill someone earlier? Because Sean was talking about me that way…

I read her message three times, contemplating the right answer, feeling like this was a test. What was she trying to get me to say? Again, I looked up toward her table and again, she was looking back at me from her table, waiting to see what I would send next.

Yeah, I guess so. You’re one of my best friends, pretty much like a sister, you know?

I looked up at her again and watched her face fall for half a second as she typed back.

Lol yeah…like a sister.

What the heck did that mean?I thought to myself.

Before I could reply, the bell rang and lunch was over. I looked at her text one more time and then up to see where she was but I couldn’t find her in the crowd of moving bodies.

Why did she ask me how I talked about girls? Or if I had looked pissed because of what Sean said? Did I really look constipated when I got angry? I would have to practice looking more intimidating in the mirror.

Something else I was going to work on was getting the tingling feeling that I felt in my gut every time I thought about her to go away.

It never really did though.

5

HALEY | NOW

Over the course of a week, I went from being married to the love of my life, running a successful business, and ready to take the world by storm, to being a widow who was wearing the same leggings for the third day in a row and couldn’t seem to move from the fetal position in bed.

It had been a full seven days since the accident and I still felt like I was living underwater. Whenever someone talked to me, it was like I couldn’t fully hear them. As they spoke, I would move my head in a way that made them think I was listening. In reality, I was too wrapped up in my own grief to be able to hear what they said at all.

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