Page 92 of Feels Like Coming Home

“You’ve helped her through them?” I asked, my heart swelled with gratitude knowing that Piper had been there for Haley through all of it.

“Yep. Me and her mom. We’ve figured out how to help her through them and how to bring her back to us when she’s having them. It’s horrible, watching her struggle and feeling like you can’t do anything to help. I would do anything to take that pain away from her.” Tears were forming in Piper’s eyes and her voice hitched in her throat.

I reached over and squeezed her hand, trying to console her.

“You’re a good friend, Piper. You’re the best kind of friend. I can’t speak for Haley, she would kill me if I tried, but I want you to know how grateful I am that you’re part of Haley’s life. Thank you for helping her. Thank you for being there for her as she works through this.”

Big, wet, heavy tears fell from Piper’s eyes and she gave me a big smile.

“Thank you, Camden. I love Haley like my sister. I would do anything for her. Including killing you if you hurt her—don’t forget that.” She playfully punched me in the arm and we both laughed, Piper’s coming out more like a cough. I didn’t need her to remind me, I knew that she would.

The two of us sat on the porch swing and talked for almost an hour.

Piper filled me in on everything Haley had been struggling with before coming to the bungalow. She told me about how losing Connor changed Haley and how seeing Deborah had really helped her start to heal. Piper also taught me what to do when Haley was having a panic attack, which I was grateful for. While I hoped I’d never have to witness her in so much pain, I wanted to know how I could best support her if I did. I wanted to be able to support Haley through anything, including this if she needed me to.

Before going to bed, Piper told me I could stay and sleep on the couch if I wanted, which I did. I wanted to be here in the morning and show Haley that I meant it when I told her I wasn’t leaving.

I wanted her to see that, even in her darkest, hardest moments, I loved her and would stand by her side no matter how hard she pushed me away. I wanted her to know, to see, to believe, that no matter what, I loved her. That I wasn’t going anywhere. That I would be by her side, as long as she would let me.

Forever and always.

44

HALEY | NOW

My eyes were raw and red when I woke up the next morning. I didn’t even remember falling asleep, but based on how puffy my eyes felt, I knew I fell asleep crying. I rubbed my eyes as I sat up in bed and slipped my toes onto the floor, finding comfort in feeling something real.

Last night was bad. Last night was the worst I had been in a long time.

When I first lost Connor, panic attacks like the one I had last night were a weekly occurrence. Sometimes even happening multiple times in a week.

But ever since coming here, to the bungalow, I hadn’t felt anxious like that at all. Like my whole world was slipping out from under me and I was being swallowed up in quicksand. But hearing Cam’s words completely set me off and turned my entire world upside down.

His name felt like poison in my mind. Just thinking about him made me sick to my stomach. I can’t believe how stupid I was to fall for his games again. How naive I had been to believe that this time, he really loved me. And that I could be loved by him in the way I had wanted to be loved for so long. The thing that hurt the most was that I knew I loved him back.

You’re such a fucking fool,I heard the voice inside my head spit. I shook my head, trying to ignore the ever-present voice that always made me feel like shit.

Pushing myself up from my bed, I headed toward my bathroom. When I saw myself in the mirror, I almost didn’t recognize the girl looking back at me. My hair looked familiar, the same shade of red it had been since I was little. My freckles were all still where they had always been, scattered across my nose and cheeks like paint splatters on a canvas.

But my eyes…they looked different. They looked sad and hollow, like all the light in them had finally gone out.

“You fought a tough battle. But everyone hits their breaking point,” I said to myself, splashing my face with water and pulling my tangled hair back into a messy bun. I didn’t have the energy to brush it. It could become a tangled mess, just like my heart, for all I cared. Normally I would change into regular clothes before going out for breakfast since it was a work day, but I didn’t have the energy for that either. I knew Piper would understand and not make me feel bad for wearing baggy sweats and an oversized tee shirt while we worked.

As I walked toward the door, my hand moved to grab the sweatshirt that was folded on the chair in the corner of my room but stopped before my fingers reached it. It was Cam’s, the one he had given me after our first night together in his hotel room. I’d kept it, telling him he would never get it back. Now it sat there like a cruel reminder of the game I had lost.

Leaving the sweatshirt behind, I pulled the door open and headed toward coffee. My feet padded across the old hardwood floor as I passed the living room. I had almost made it to the kitchen when I saw a large, broad-shouldered, finely chiseled figure rise from the couch. Unsure of if my brain was playing a trick on me, I turned slowly to face it.

“What the hell are you doing here?” My voice was flat. Emotionless. Just like how I felt inside.

“Why are you always asking me that?”Is he trying to be cute right now?

“I told you to leave.”

“And I told him to stay.” My head whipped toward the hallway where Piper was exiting her room, already fully dressed for the day.

“What? Piper, what the hell?” I wasn’t sure if I should be angry or annoyed with my best friend. I settled on both.

“I know you’re pissed and you can yell at me about it later. But, sweetie—and I’m saying this because it’s my duty as your best friend to do so—you two need to talk.” She was now in front of me, placing one hand on my shoulder.

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