Page 65 of Mending Me

“Auffroy…”

“Auffroy?”

“Dude, AUFFROY!” Malcolm’s fist met the side of my arm and pulled me out of my daze.

“What the hell, Malcolm? Why’d you hit me?” Annoyed and in pain, I hauled off and decked him back on his arm.

“Dude, you weren’t fucking paying attention,” he growled, flinching at me as if he was going to hit me again. “You haven’t been paying attention all night.”

I looked around the table to find three sets of eyes staring back at me with concern. They weren’t wrong. We’d been playing for almost two hours but there was no way I’d be able to tell you what’s happened since we sat down.

It had been five days since I had last seen her. After I left her place Friday night, I wanted nothing more than to go back, apologize, and check to see if she was okay. I hadn’t even seen her at the gym the last few days either. When Monday rolled around and I still hadn’t seen her, I asked the guy at the desk if she had been in. He checked the log books and told me she hadbeen in the last few days, but in the afternoons, so I knew she was avoiding me.

‘I just need some time.’Her words rang out in my head and I could still feel the pain in them. But how much time was that? Since leaving her, I felt like half of me was missing. Like I was walking around every day with a giant hole in my heart and until it was filled in, I wouldn’t be able to fully function. Her reaction was exactly the one I was trying to avoid even if it was completely warranted. I had betrayed her trust and all I could hope for now is that she would be able to forgive me.

“Hank.” Kolbi’s deep voice pulled me out of my head and I looked towards him. “You okay?”

“Yeah. Sure, I guess.” All three of my friends gave me a look that told me they knew better than that. My mind raced trying to collect my words, not wanting to share anything more about her than I already had. I pushed out a breath through pursed lips.

“Bailey and I are just…” I paused, considering my words, “going through things.” Kolbi gave me a knowing look before dropping his gaze toward his hands and rubbing the backs of his hands with his thumbs. I could see the guilt on his face even though none of this was his fault. He did exactly what I asked him to do because he was trying to be a good friend.

“Hey man, I’m really sorry. I know how much you like her.” Malcolm clapped his hand on my shoulder and gave me a sideways frown.

“What happened?” Conrad asked, always the one who needs to know all the facts.

“I was trying to help her with something and I think I caused her more harm instead,” I noted, swallowing the massive lump that was forming in my throat. There was a pause around the table as my friends chewed on their thoughts. “I love her, you guys. With everything I am. I don’t know what I’ll do if she doesn’t come back to me.”

“You should apologize. I don’t know what you did but I find that women always appreciate a man who can admit when he’s wrong,” Malcolm said confidently, crossing his arms across his chest and leaning back in his chair. He shook his head to toss his long hair out of his face.

“She asked for time,” I explained, hearing her words run on repeat in my mind.

“Then you give her time. She’ll come around, brother. She loves you, I see it when she’s here with you. The way she looks at you, that’s love.” Kolbi gave me a reassuring look from across the table. When he nodded slightly towards me, I returned it, thanking him silently for not sharing our secret with the others.

“I hope so.” I chewed on the inside of my lip and tried to shake off the sinking feeling I felt in the pit of my stomach.

“She’ll come around man,” Malcolm assured. “If she doesn’t, you’ll have us to keep you company.”

“I’m not sleeping with you, though,” Conrad said flatly from his seat and we all laughed. Leave it to my friends to get me to laugh while I feared that I was on the brink of losing the one thing I had truly loved for the first time in years.

I swungmy leg over my bike and pulled my helmet off my head as I walked up the stairs to my place. On my ride home from campaign night, all I could think about was her. She consumed my thoughts on the best days and haunted them on the worst. She was my everything and the thought of losing her felt like I would be losing myself. I was looking at my hands, trying to find the key to my place, when I heard her call out to me.

“Hey there, soldier.” She bit her lip as my eyes found her standing just outside my door. My eyes widened as I looked ather and my heart started to race. I wasn’t sure what she was doing here but I was happy to see her.

“Hey there, blondie.” My voice teemed with hope and I slowed my pace, stopping just before I reached her.

“Can I come in?” Her eyes darted towards my door and she gave me a promising gaze.

“Ye–yeah. Please, come in.” Sputtering, I unlocked the door and motioned for her to go in before me.

I followed behind her closely, picking up the familiar scent of vanilla and honey that followed her everywhere. It was one that I had come to long for by the end of my workday and breathed in selfishly once I was with her. Since we had been apart, it was just another thing that I felt missing. She walked into my small apartment and took a seat on the couch. When she sat down, tucking her legs under her butt as she got comfortable, it made me think of the first time she came over. How she had laid her head on my knee and asked me to play twenty questions. My heart ached thinking about how much I would miss those kinds of moments with her if she was here to tell me it was over.

“So,” her voice came out anxious, “I’ve been thinking?—”

“Bailey, wait,” I cut her off and sat down next to her on the couch, pulling her hands into mine. Before she ripped my heart out I needed to remember how it felt to hold her like this again. My friends had told me I needed to apologize and I wanted to do that and more.

“I know what I did was wrong and I shouldn’t have betrayed your trust. But I did it to try to help you, to try and help you move past what happened to you. Because I love you and I hate seeing you in pain. I don’t want you to be scared or afraid anymore. I want you to be able to live your life freely and without fear that someone who hurt you is still out there.”

“Hank—”

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