Page 28 of Divine Sense

“Because…” He pushed out a breath and tried to step away, but I grabbed his arms and held him in place. “Because I want you…” His throat bobbed as he grazed my sides with his finger tips. Even with the multiple layers of tulle my dress was made from, I could still feel the want in his touch.

“You do?” My words came out just loud enough for him to hear. Joy and excitement at his confirmation of what I’d hoped to be true exploded inside my heart and I waited for him to speak again.

“Yes, I do. Even though I shouldn’t. Even though I can’t have you.” His breath danced across my lips as his head sank lower and I prayed more than I ever have before for him to just lean forward a few more inches. I pressed myself into him even more and he finally welcomed me in, wrapping his strong arms around my waist as if I was already his.

“Why can’t you have me?” My voice dripped with desire and I could feel myself losing any sense of self restraint. Being this close to him without doing what I’ve wanted to do for the last few weeks was like giving a starving person a cheeseburger but telling them they couldn’t have it.

“Because I’m not the kind of man who deserves you. I’m not the kind of man your family wants for you. I’m not the kind of m—” I couldn’t take it anymore and pressed up onto my toes to bring my lips to his.

If he wasn’t going to do it, I would.

I lifted my arms to wrap them around his neck and pulled him deeper into me. When our lips finally met, it was as if I’d unleashed a wild animal. With his strong arms still wrappedaround my waist he lifted me with ease and I felt my feet leave the floor. The more I leaned into him, the more he welcomed me in. When I opened my mouth and he pushed his tongue inside, I couldn’t stop myself from digging my nails into the back of his neck. He carried me to the banister of the gazebo and set me down on the edge, pressing his torso in between my legs. Spreading my legs wide, he held me in place by cupping his hands under my ass and leaned into the kiss we were feverishly sharing. When his hips met my center, I could feel how hard he was through the layers of fabric that made up my skirt. A guttural moan escaped from the back of my throat as he swiped his tongue on the inside of my mouth. The sound seemed to startle him and he pulled away quickly, breathing heavily and looking at me with bewilderment.

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry, I shouldn’t have—” He tried to pull away from me but I still had my arms around his neck and held him in place.

“But I wanted you to,Iwanted to, and I know you wanted to too.” He set me down off the banister and started to fix his dress shirt and tie. He wouldn’t look me in the eye and suddenly all the energy that we had shared started to dissipate.

“We can’t do this. It’s not right and extremely unprofessional. I shouldn’t have told you how I felt, I apologize.” He was speaking quickly and was moving to leave the gazebo, his eyes fixed on the ground as if he was too ashamed to look at me. He only stopped when he realized I wasn’t following him.

I stayed standing where he’d left me, refusing to move. With my arms crossed in front of me, I gave him a hard expression, hurt by how he was acting.

“Let’s go, Magnolia. It’s cold and we need to get you back to the party.” His voice was gentle and he held out a hand for me to take. I looked at it with disdain before glaring back at him.

“No. I’m not going back in there just for you to pretend like that didn’t just happen.” I couldn’t believe he was acting like this. Andwhy. His justification for not wanting to be with me was idiotic. I didn’t care what people thought about us and neither should he. He sucked his lips over his teeth and dropped his head before walking towards me again. Once he reached me, he placed one hand on my waist and another under my chin, tilting it up so I had to look at him.

“I wish I didn’t have to pretend I don’t want you as much as I do. I wish I didn’t have to act like you’re nothing but a client to me, because you’re not. I would like nothing more than to be able to throw you over my shoulder and march back into that house and have my way with you like I’ve been dreaming about since I first ran into you last month, but I can’t. Because you and I, we’re from different worlds, flower. Two totally different worlds where the people who live in them don’t commingle,” he paused and swiped his thumb across my cheek, setting it on fire. “I wish we could be more than this, but we can’t. I’m sorry.” He closed his eyes and kissed me softly on the cheek before wiping it away with his thumb. Then, he turned and walked away from me for good.

I watched him for a beat and felt tears prick my eyes before I blinked them away forcefully. When he didn’t turn around to look back at me, I had no choice but to follow him.

18

KOLBI

The last three days between the party and now have been the longest three days of my life. Since the office was closed for the holiday, I had nothing to do to preoccupy my time and I could only spend so much time riding my skateboard around the city. Magnolia had texted me several times over the last few days but I ignored all of them, unsure of what to say. My stomach churned when I thought about how I was treating her after kissing her at the party.

I meant what I said when I told her we were from different worlds. She grew up with a silver spoon on every plate and I grew up microwaving my dinners in a plastic container. While I had broken through to her world in my adult years, I knew that a man who grew up like I did wasn’t fit for a girl like her. She told me herself, her parents cared about lineage and bloodlines, and I’m sure they would be less than thrilled if their daughter got together with me. The professional conflict alone was reason enough for me to need to distance myself from her.

But what happened between us on Saturday wasn’t making things any easier.

Looking down at the black velvet box, I knew that I should tuck it away and forget I bought it. For some strange reason one night while I was rereading our texts, I made the hasty decision to buy her a Christmas gift. It wasn’t much, just a small gold bracelet with a Magnolia flower in the center of it. I’d planned on giving it to her at the party, as a gesture of friendship, but forgot after I’d gone and fucked everything up by kissing her.

Why did I have to kiss her? Why did I now have to live with the knowledge of what it felt like to have her lips on mine when I know I can’t have her. This is what you get for thinking you could have her as just afriendand nothing more.

“Yo, Kolbi! You here man?” I heard Malcolm call out to me from downstairs.

Quickly closing the box. I tucked it behind some clothes in the top drawer of my dresser before heading downstairs to meet my friend. Walking down the steps, I caught the sight of him pulling off a knit cap and shaking out his almost shoulder-length hair. He’d always kept it short in high-school, respecting the requests of his traditional Asian parents and doing as they asked. But once he went off to college and came home, he had put on fifty pounds of pure muscle, had grown out his hair, and had some new ink he hadn’t had when he left home. He was wearing a pair of thick, dark framed glasses and was carrying a brand-new bottle of whiskey. When I met him at the bottom of the steps, he pushed it towards me.

“Merry Christmas, Kolb. I swiped it from the bar just for you. I know it’s your favorite.” He gave me a sly grin and I took the bottle from him with an eye roll.

“I could have paid you for this, you know?” I barked over my shoulder as I walked towards our game table. While it was only Tuesday, we were doing our weekly campaign night a day early as Hank and Bailey would be traveling tomorrow to do Christmas with her family.

“But then it wouldn’t be a gift, it would have been an errand,” he shot back.

“I don’t want a gift that’sstolen,” I shook my head at him as I opened the bottle. “I don’t think my contacts at Charleston PD would appreciate this.”

“You worry too much. The bar won’t even notice.” He waved a hand at me and grabbed two glasses from the bar cart that stood in the corner of the formal dining room just off the kitchen and set them down in front of me. I poured us both a shot and handed him his.

“Merry Christmas, brother. Here’s to stolen Christmas presents,” I joked.

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