Page 75 of Divine Sense

But that was before Kolbi came into my life.

And his kind of love was a type I never wanted to lose.

His kind of love was the type that made you feel safe. It was the kind of love that makes you feel warm and lets you know that, even when you aren’t perfect, you’re still enough. You’re still good and you’re still wanted. Unlike my parents, I never have to wonder with Kolbi. Every day he wakes up, gives me a kiss, and tells me he loves me. And not only does he tell me he loves me, he shows me he loves me by the way he takes care of me. That’s how I know he means it.

Sitting in my chair, watching his friends—my new friends—get married, I knew I’d love him forever. He made me a better person. The type of person I think I always knew I wanted to be but didn’t feel like I was able to become. For years I had hidden this version of me away for fear that if I let her out, no one would love her. But Kolbi did from the very start. He saw that version of me when she would peek out and showed her love until she felt safe enough to fully come out. And he continued to love me as I became who I’d always wanted to be.

Strong.

Independent.

My own complete person away from all the accolades and fancy dresses.

I caught his eyes on me as the bride and groom exchanged their vows and I blew him a kiss. When he smiled back at me, I was filled with the sense of warmth that I always felt when he was close. I knew I was becoming the woman I’d always wanted to be but I also knew that I couldn’t wait to become her with him by my side.

Hopefully, forever.

EPILOGUE

KOLBI | DECEMBER

The chill of the air blew between us as we walked down the old slate sidewalks hand in hand. We had been walking for nearly thirty minutes, a daily ritual for us that was normally completed after we got home from work. With the office closed for the last two weeks of the year, we were heading down the street in the middle of a Thursday afternoon.

Christmas was in just a few days and I noticed how melancholy she’d been as we’ve gotten closer to the holidays. Her parents’ annual Christmas party was this weekend, like it always was, but she hadn’t been invited. Remembering how she told me she normally helped her mother host, I had asked her if she wanted to throw a Christmas party at our house this year.

“That’s really sweet of you to offer,” she had said with her hand on my cheek, “but it’s just not the same. I’ll be okay, I promise,” she tried to say bravely. Later that evening, I heard her crying in the shower and stepped in fully clothed and held her as she did.

I shook her hand a little in mine and looked down towards her. “You know, this is my favorite time of year because I see you everywhere.” My eyes caught sight of the Magnoliagarland strung around the wrought iron fences and the oversized Magnolia wreaths hung on people’s doors and windows. A Southern style of decorating for Christmas you can’t miss around the city. She gave me a wary smile and looked down towards her shoes again.

We turned the corner, heading back towards our house, when she stopped in the middle of the sidewalk. I turned and looked at her, confused by why she had stopped.

“There’s something I want to do,” she said with conviction.

“Whatever you want, baby, we’ll do it.” I squeezed her hand in mine and listened as she told me what she wanted.

Several hours and a few stops later, we drove down the gravel drive that led up to her childhood home. Her hand squeezed mine tighter as we approached the front door completely uninvited and unannounced. I pulled up in front of the old front porch and turned the car off, looking at her to see what she would do next. Her eyes were wide as they took in the house she hadn’t been to since the summer. Swallowing hard, she turned towards me with the faintest sense of apprehension.

“Will you come with me?” Her voice wobbled with nerves.

“Of course I will,” I said, pulling her hand to my lips and kissing the back of it.

I jumped out of the car, wrapping my wool trench coat tighter around me and went to open her door. Giving her my hand, I helped her step down and closed the door once she grabbed the gift from the back seat. She nervously licked her lips and looked up at the oversized house. Together, we climbed the front steps and once at the door, pressed the doorbell. It took a few moments, but when the door opened she gasped happily and lunged towards the woman standing in the doorway.

“Ms. Ruthie,” she exclaimed, hugging the woman tightly around the neck. Ruthie, with a look of surprise and joy, wrapped her arms around Magnolia and pulled her close.

“My girl,” the old woman’s raspy voice hummed, stroking Magnolia’s hair down her back. I watched from a step away to let them have their moment. For weeks, Magnolia had mentioned how much she missed Ruthie and had tried to call her on the phone several times. Each time anyone picked up the phone, they had told her Ms. Ruthie wasn’t allowed to speak to her. I knew the estrangement from her parents weighed heavy on her heart, but losing Ms. Ruthie had taken a bigger toll.

“I miss you so much,” Magnolia cried into her neck, squeezing her even tighter. “I’ve tried calling but no one will let you speak to me.”

“I know you have, sugar, I know you have.” Ruthie patted Magnolia on the back lovingly, trying to console her. My heart tightened in my chest as I saw just how much she cared for Magnolia.

“I’m so sorry for not coming back until now. My parents, they just cut me off. I wasn’t sure if I was brave enough to come here but I didn’t want Christmas to go by without seeing you.” Magnolia pulled away and lifted the present towards the woman. “I brought you something.”

“Oh, sugar, you didn’t need to get me anything. I’ve been telling you for years now I don’t need nothin’ from you. Just getting to see your pretty face is plenty.” Ruthie pulled at a strand of Magnolia’s hair, straightening it on her shoulder.

“It’s from both of us actually,” Magnolia started, glancing over her shoulder at me with a small smile. “Please, open it.”

Ruthie stepped out of the door and closed it behind her before taking the box from Magnolia’s hands. Slowly, she untied the ribbon and pulled back the wrapping paper. Underneath, she found a box that held a brand new cellphone and a business card. She looked at us both with furrowed eyes.

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