Page 69 of Desperate Haste

Kolbi:

Thanks man, we’re really excited.

And no, it won’t be a big production. We’ve actually decided to elope. This weekend. And you’re all coming, no arguments. I chartered a plane that leaves tomorrow and our ceremony will be held at the lodge we stayed at last year when we went to Aspen. Everything’s been arranged and paid for. Just come ready to celebrate.

Hank:

Tomorrow?! What about work?

Oh nevermind I see the office is closed, just got the email. Fuck yeah.

Connie:

I’ll let my boss know I’ll be out of office for the day.

My eyes roll for a second time at Conrad’s lame excuse for a joke seeing as how he works for himself. I feel my insides flip when I realize I’m going to have to be away from the bar for the entire weekend but this is my best friend’s wedding—missing it isn’t an option.

I’ll be there. Alice can handle things here for the weekend.

Kolbi:

Yeah, sorry it’s all so last minute man but honestly, you need a break anyway. You’ve been working yourself like a dog recently. This will be good for you.

I know he’s right, but all the same, being away from the bar that long makes the knots in my shoulders tighten. I was about to get back to work when my phone buzzes again with another text from Kolbi.

Kolbi:

And Malcolm, we hope Ophelia will be joining you.

* * *

The ceremony issmall and intimate and includes the strange, rag tag team of people I call family, Ophelia, and Ms. Ruthie. As promised, Kolbi flew us all on a private jet, and he and Magnolia were married at the top of the ski resort he had brought her to during a private getaway trip they’d taken together. When I called Ophelia to tell her about the trip, she seemed excited to be invited. I could hear her barking out orders to her assistant Dale that he would have to cancel her Friday meetings since she had somewhere important to be. Her assertiveness is one of the many things I love about her, but the thing I love the most is how she prioritizes the important people in her life. As I watch Kolbi say his vows and dance with his new wife for the first time, my brain wonders if she will ever let me love her in the same way. She has her reasons to not want marriage and I’m okay with that. But will we ever get to the point where I can call her mine forever?

Only if you’re able to man the fuck up and provide for her like she needs you to. Right now you’re doing a pretty piss poor job of that though.I tuck my chin into my shoulder and try to shake the voice loose.

When my eyes open, I find her brown eyes looking back at me and a smile spread across her lips. We’re sitting at a long mahogany table with everyone having a post-ceremony dinner to celebrate the bride and groom. Her arm is resting on my shoulder and she’s running her fingers through my hair which is clean and falling around my shoulders. I’ve subconsciously synced my breath with the rhythm of her hand running its way over my scalp and find as much peace as I can in the feeling of her touch.

Yesterday when I woke up, I took the last pill I had in my possession and texted my guy to see if I could get more from him before leaving for the weekend, but as luck would have it, he wasn’t able to get me any more until Monday night. I told myself I would be fine without it but as I get closer to twenty-four hours without a fix, I can feel the itch getting more and more desperate to be scratched.

You could go and find some here, you know. I’m sure it wouldn’t be hard.

No. I’m not risking that. Not here, not now. This weekend is about Kolbi and my friends and I’m not going to go and fuck that up.

I push out a deep breath and try to relax. We go home tomorrow and then it’s just one more day after that.

“Hey,” Ophelia says, leaning closer so it’s just the two of us who can hear our conversation. “You okay?”

“What? Oh, yeah, I’m fine. I’m just tired from the time change. It’s like, midnight at home, you know.”

She chuckles a little in disbelief. “Yeah, and? That’s usually when you’re getting back from the bar. You should have another hour or two in you.”

“I guess it’s just the travel and the time change. I’m worried about the bar.” I try to come up with any excuse for my strained energy levels that I think she might actually believe.

She turns to me fully now and tucks her hands into mine. “Malcolm, Alice promised you she would take care of the place. You haven’t heard anything which is agood thing. Please just let your mind relax while we’re here. We go home tomorrow and then you can worry again, okay?”

“I know, I’m trying.” I place a hand on her cheek and smile at her warily. “Thanks for looking out for me.”

She leans in and plants a kiss on my cheek. “I care about you, Malcolm. I want you to care about yourself as much as I do.”

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