Page 34 of Never Been Worse

“But—” Sophie starts to argue, but Jules gives hermom eyes,and she stops. I hear her feet pound on the floor before Jules smiles and looks back at me.

“Okay, I really do have to go. But you know, Ava might be right. Just…give it a try. Or, better yet, givehima try. You know, if this was a movie?—”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah. Go take your kid to the dentist,” I grumble, but then smile when I watch her face light up the way it always does when anyone calls Sophiehers.

“Love you, Harper.”

“Love you, Jules,” I say, then she ends the call, leaving me alone with my thoughts. I toss my phone and flop back on the big bed with a sigh. Nonetheless, my mind travels to all of the gentle touches and heated looks he’s given me.

Fuck it.

Maybe there’s some truth to working him out of my system, toscratching the itch. Maybe I’m just wildly sexually frustrated. It’s been an eternity since I had sex last, and I can’t even remember the last time I made myself come. Plus, Wes usually takes about an hour on his run, and it’s barely been fifteen minutes since he left. I sigh, dig in my bag, and find the purple vibrator right where Jules said it would be, then climb back in the bed.

This is so stupid.

Why do I feel nervous? I’m just going to…make myself come really quick and then move on with my life. Right? Right. And it has absolutelynothingto do with my new husband. None at all.

With that, I shift my pajama pants off, letting them and my underwear ball up at the foot of the bed before slowly, I part my legs. My hand shifts down my belly gently, and I force my mind to envisiongenerichands, not tattooed and calloused ones scraping along my soft skin. When I reach my center, I sigh, my legs widening further as I close my eyes and circle my clit gently.

God, that feels good.It’s been far too long.

Yes, this isexactlywhat I need. I’m just sexually frustrated, is all. My finger slides down to my entrance, gathering wetness that’s already there and sliding it up over my sensitive bundle of nerves once more, my hips bucking as I tease myself. I bet that’s what Wes would do. He loves messing with me, teasing me, and I don’t think that would be any different in bed.

But this is not about Wes,I remind myself. This is a fictional, fake man.

I sigh, sliding down again and slipping a finger into myself, pressing up to graze my G-spot, a small mewl leaving my lips as I slide out and add another. My free hand moves up and under my shirt, pushing the thin sleep bra aside and pinching my nipple, my breath catching as my mind replaces my fingers with Wes's calloused ones, my tight grip on restraint already demolished.

A groan leaves my lips, pleasure blooming quickly at the mereideaof his touch, of his hands on my body as my fingers roam back to my clit, my pussy already wet from the mere idea of this fantasy.

He would touch me like this, I know. Slow and teasing, taunting and absolutely soul-shaking. I picture it as I slide from my center to my clit again, tweaking it before deciding I need more, reaching over and grabbing the thick vibrator and turning it on.

I slide it along my slit, wetting the thick head and wondering what Wes would feel like between my legs. He’s so fucking tall, so broad, his hands big and spanning. I know to my bones he’d be big, that he would stretch and fill me. I slide the vibrator up, moaning loudly now as it touches my clit, the sensation too much as I begin to pant, my hips moving up.

I could come just like this, a gentle touch on my clit and the mereideaof Wes Holden, but I want more.

I want to get him out of my system, to come hard and ease the ache in my belly and in my chest.

I move down until the head of the vibrator notches at my opening, a small moan escaping my lips at the stretch as I start to slide it in. Pleasure bubbles as I slide it out and then in again, each time moving another inch deeper, the vibrations and the stretch almost too much to handle as I picture my husband hovering over me, hands on the bed at either side of my head, his messy hair falling forward. I bet he would kiss me as he slides in, taking my breath away in more than one way, and I moan again, this time louder ,as I slide it all the way, the thick silicone stretching me.

I haven’t made myself come in some time, not because I was getting it good or regularly from Jeremy, but because I just…didn’t feel the need. I have never been a sexual person, thinking of sex and orgasms as just another check mark on my life task list rather than something one does strictly for pleasure.

But after spending so much time with Wes, the man whose every smile, every graze of his fingers on mine makes my entire body ignite, I feel like if I don’t sate this need, I’ll do something really freaking stupid.

Like open my heart for him when I just need to get off. And honestly, I don’t have room in my life foranotherimpulsive decision.

Instead, I scratch the itch on my own, sliding the vibrator in and out, my other hand moving to make gentle circles around my sensitive clit, reminding myself I’m doing this forme. Not for anyone else.

But as I pick up speed, the vibrator hitting spots inside me that have gone untouched for some time, I find my hips bucking, a low word falling from my lips with a single breath.

Wes.

My mind takes on a life of its own, picturing him slamming between my legs, stretching my hips wide to give himself room. His hands holding my knees open with a pinch of pain that adds to the pleasure, hovering over me, sweat glistening on his face as he fucks me hard.

I don’t think he would be soft and gentle, but all-consuming and life-changing.

My mind pictures the way his hair would fall into his face, the way his eyes would lock on mine, capturing every moan, every blissful moment that crossed my face and categorizing it for future use the way he seems to do.

My hand moves up as I fuck myself, pinching and rolling my nipple hard the way I’d want Wes to, pulling it and wishing his calloused fingers were there instead of my soft ones. The pleasure builds in my belly as my breaths become heavy, as my whimpers become straight-up moans, and my mind is completely lost to reality.

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