Page 67 of Never Been Worse

“Yeah, let’s go,” I say as Jules follows her out, but Ava doesn’t, standing in the kitchen and taking me in.

“You’re good for her, you know,” she says low, like she’s worried Harper will hear. “Don’t stop fighting for her. She’s just a little trigger shy and isn’t sure if she can trust her gut these days.”

“But you’re saying her gut is pointing to me?” I ask, reading between the lines.

She smiles wide.

“Oh yeah. Big time, my friend,” she says, then turns away toward the front door without another word.

I follow before we head out the door. Harper is quiet, letting Ava and Jules chat, but she takes the passenger seat beside me, the girls sitting in the back.

And when she reaches over to where my hand sits on the center console, gently twining her fingers with mine, I can’t help but think I’ve somehow passed another test Harper doesn’t realize she’s been assigning to me.

TWENTY-SIX

WES

She wants to run off. It’s clear in the way she’s standing with her shoulders set tightly, waving out the window as Ava and Jules drive off. She’s like a skittish cat I need to approach with care, but the question is tumbling out of my mouth before I can even think to phrase it differently.

“Are you still in love with him?”

“What?” she asks, turning to look at me, genuine confusion on her face.

“Are you still in love with him? Your ex. It’s okay if you are, you were together a long—” My words trail off when she stops me by laughing. Full, deep, belly laughs that, if I weren’t sitting on the edge of a knife, I’d be smiling along with.

“No, Wes, I am not in love with Jeremy,” she says when her laughter finally settles before leaning back against the wall, arms crossed on her chest. “If I ever did love him, it hasn’t been for a very long time. I think I was in love with theideaof him. I spent a lot of our relationship convincing myself I was in love because he was a safe choice, and I’m not arock-the-boatkind of girl. Dating Jeremy was a checkmark in the column ofHarper has her life together,you know?”

I don’t, but I nod all the same. I graduated high school and started touring the country with a rock band on a whim, hoping one day it would pan out into something, but I’d never set ideals for myself, never made a list of things I needed to accomplish to feel like I had my life together the way Harper clearly does. She holds herself to such a high standard, constantly scrutinizing every step she makes. Secretly, I think even if she did check off all of those boxes, she wouldn’t be content.

I wonder if that’s what happened with Jeremy, if she kept waiting for each milestone in their relationship to bemoreor fix something, and because of that, she never let herself fully realize she wasn’t happy and might never be.

“So you’re not heartbroken over him?”

“No, I’m not heartbroken over Jeremy.” Her head tips to the side as she takes me in, her smile going wider. “Is that jealousy I’m sensing, Holden?”

And then some, but I don’t tell her that. Instead, I reach for her hand, grabbing it and leading her into what the realtor called asitting roomwhen I bought this place. She sits on a loveseat, and I sit on a large, comfy sofa kitty-corner to her, leaning back and crossing my arms on my chest.

“Okay, so if it’s not about heartbreak…what was Ava talking about then? Why are you three inciting karma on him again?”

She screws up her face like she’s trying to decide how to say something, then it shifts, and I just knowshe’s considering lying or at least not telling the whole truth. But then some kind of acceptance floods her, and she sighs before leaning back.

“They found out something I omitted from my original story of the breakup.” My heart skips a beat, but I force my body to remain calm despite my mind going through a million worst-case scenarios.

“Okay…” I say, trying to be patient.

She takes a deep breath, lets it out, and then starts.

“I had an idea for a fashion line a little while ago. A side project, something fun that was just for me, but I fell in love with it. Couture, high fashion pieces. I started working on it and decided maybe I’d show it, let it be my first tiptoe into that world. I think there’s a way to tie couture lines with more accessible fashion for the everyday woman, and that’s what I was trying to do with it. One high fashion piece and one or two pieces inspired by it that were more casual. I’d been working on it here and there for a long time, and Jeremy knew about it.”

I nod, leaning forward and gently pushing a loose piece of hair behind her ear.

“I lied when I said the only reason I was mad at Jeremy was because he was cheating on me. There’s a line his new girlfriend is premiering as her first high fashion line.” I nod again, following with a rock in my stomach. “It’s mine.”

“Yours?” I ask, and she nods. “How?”

“I showed it to him. He works for Astor Fashion, and I hoped…I don’t know.”

“You hoped he’d show it to his boss, get you a meeting or something.”