Page 84 of Never Been Worse

“Then we’ll learn together,” he confirms, and I fuckinglovethat, that he wants to learn and grow with me, that he sees this future where that’s something we do. We fall into a comfortable silence, Wes brushing my hair back, the television droning on with some show I don’t remember putting on before he whispers into my hair.

“Sunday kind of love.” His breath tickle at the back of my neck.

“Hmm?”

“When I hear that song, this is the day I’ll remember.” I make a mental note to look that up, to figure out what it means, the song tickling at something in my brain. Without thinking, I give him one of my own.

“Banana Pancakes.” I feel his smile against my skin, and it spreads the warmth further.

We sit in silence once more, him brushing my hair back. My head moves into his hand to try and get more, and he laughs as he scratches my head. “You’re like a little puppy, wanting to get your head scratched.”

“It feels good, sue me.” A moment passes before I speak. “Have you ever had a dog?”

He shakes his head. “No, my mom was allergic when I was younger, and when I was out of the house, life was too crazy, on the road all the time. Riggs has Gracie, but it’s hard because when we’re out or on stage, you have to trust whoever is watching it.” He shrugs like it’s no big deal, but I hear the want in his voice. “You?”

“No, Jeremy hated pets. I always wanted one, though.”

I bite my lip, nervous to speak what’s in my mind, but eventually I spit it out. “Maybe we should get one,” I whisper, afraid because although Wes and I have agreed this was more than some fake marriage, we’ve been focused on thenow. Our conversations have never tiptoed into the future, into what happens in ten months when this arrangement is over.

He’s quiet for a long minute that feels like it goes on forever, and my heart pounds, wondering if I went too far. I open my mouth to tell him I was kidding, but I don’t have to when he speaks. “Would you come with us?”

“Hmm?” I’m afraid to assume what he means.

“On tour. Eventually we’ll go again, all of us love it too much not to. Would you come with us?”

My heart skips a beat, and I fight the smile pulling at my lips. “If you…if you wanted me to,” I say. “If you wanted me to go, I would.”

“I want you to come everywhere I go, Harper,” he says with ease. “I want you by my side always.

“Oh.”

“To clarify, so you don’t let your brain fill in gaps where I’m not explicitly clear,” he says, and I smile because I love how he seems to easily have a read on me. “I want you to come on tour when we go. And I want to get a pet with you if you want it. I want it all with you.”

“Oh,” I say again, now just blown away by his bluntness and how lucky I am that I somehow stumbled into this, that I found this man after all of the chaos that has been my life. A man who is so deeply into me, who understands me and knows me and still wants me despite it all.

“We should do it again, you know,” Wes whispers after more silence, while I think about him and what he's given me. I look at him, confused, but the confusion lifts when I see where his eyes are—a large framed photo from our wedding. I’m not sure when he put it up, but it’s been there for a few weeks, at least.

“Again?”

His hand moves, pushing my hair back to look at me better. .

“The first time, we were both distracted. The reasons weren’t right. I’d like to do it again someday. Me and you, getting married, but for real this time.”

“I thought you said itwasfor real the first time?” I ask with a smile

“For me, it was. It was always real for me, Harper. You took a little bit of time. I’d like to see you walking down the aisle to me, knowing that it’s going to be me and you forever.” I roll my eyes and move to get away. “I’d also like a shit ton of guests to show you off. A gown you made exactly the way you want. Every detail, the way you dreamed of as a kid.”

“Wes,” I whisper, tears coming to my eyes at his thoughtfulness. He shakes his head, looking at me, then shifts us so I’m straddling his lap, his hands on either side of my face.

It hits me then, like a wave crashing over me, that I’m falling in love with my husband. It’s happened so slowly, I almost missed it, but today, when we slowed things down and spent an entire day together, it hit me over the head.

This is what Ava feels for Jaime, what Jules feels when she looks at Nate. This all-consuming feeling of safety and comfort and just…knowing. No tinge of fear or doubt, just…love.

“I told you I want to give you the world, Harper. Whatever you want, I want to make sure you have it.”

“I think I’m falling for you,” I whisper.

“That’s good,” he whispers, and I try to move to look at him, glare at him even, but his hand on my chest holds me tight. “Because I’ve been there a long time, waiting for you.”

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