Page 11 of Tourist Trap

After the breakup, my life pretty much settled into the same rhythm it had before: I went back to living in the cottage behind my brother’s house, working at his girlfriend’s dance studio, and babysitting my niece when needed.

The only difference was the looks I was now getting from my family. Eventheyknew I was faking it through each day, slowly wasting away with anxiety as I tried to figure out what I wanted to do.

It’s why I needed to get out of that town, if only for a few months, because as much as I love my family, and I’m so glad I had them to fall back on after everything fell apart, I was suffocating.

This entire chaotic plan started about two weeks ago during one of our incessant FaceTimes when I finally confessed to June how lost I’ve been feeling.

“Everyone…” I bit my lip, feeling silly saying it out loud. “Everyone around me knows what they want to do. And I…don’t.”

“You’re young!” she said with a wave of her hand. “You have time!”

“I’m twenty-five, June. I feel like I was supposed to spend the last two years since graduation figuring it all out, and instead, I spent it babying Paul.” She gave me a tight look because, from the time I met him at a party, she didn’t like him for me. “And now I’m home again, back at square one. Except my entire family is secretly judging me for not having it all figured out.”

A frustrated tear rolled down my cheek, and I cursed my inability to hide emotions. Normally, I think it just makes me me, but right then, these tears exposed me too much.

She gave me a contemplative look before she nodded like she knew exactly what the answer was. “You know what you need? A hot girl summer.”

I let out a snort of a laugh and shook my head at her, wiping away the few tears that escaped and already feeling a bit better.

“I’m serious! Spend the summer having fun, being silly, and living it up, then, in the fall, you can figure out what you want to do. You can’t make big decisions like that just by thinking about them non-stop.” A pregnant pause filled the line before she spoke again. “Okay, it might sound crazy?—”

“I love crazy,” I said with a smile she returned.

“What about Seaside Point?”

“What?”

“Come down here for the summer! It’s perfect, actually. Helen, the recreation manager? She’s looking for some lifeguards for the season.”

I rolled the idea through my mind, then stumbled on the first obstacle.

“Where would I live?” I asked, knowing her apartment is no bigger than a shoebox. “I love you, but?—“

“But college was rough enough. I almost killed you. Doing that again might be the end of our friendship.”

I rolled my eyes at her. “That’s because you’re a neat freak.”

“No. It’s because you’re a tornado.”

I smiled, accepting her dig because it was not completely wrong. I could only see the top of her head as she tapped away at the screen of her phone.

“We’ll find you a place down here, I know a ton of people. We have to get you the job first.” My phone pinged with a new message. “That’s the website for the recreation department. Fill out the application for summer positions.”

I moved to my laptop and opened the link, finding the application quickly and opening it. “Is this crazy?” I asked with a laugh, typing in my name.

“No crazier than any other things we’ve done.”

I shrugged because she was not wrong, then focused for the next few minutes while she rambled on about plans and what kind of fun we could have if we lived in the same town for a few months.

“Okay, application sent.” A sense of excitement and purpose rushed through me, feeling good to finally take control of this morose feeling that had been plaguing me.

Maybe a change of pace was all I’d need.

“Ah! So exciting! Tomorrow I’ll talk to Helen and make sure she knows how perfect you are for the job. You’ll get the job.”

That was two weeks ago, and in that time, I got the job, packed everything up from the cottage I was living in behind my brother Nate’s house, and moved down here. I’ll be living down the shore for the summer to give myself some space and a bit of fun to try and figure out my life. My plan is to have one last carefree summer and, along the way, hopefully, figure out what I like and what I want to do with my life.

Or, worst-case scenario, in the fall, get a big girl job, and then I’ll have this fun, chaotic summer to look back on when I’m a depressed paper pusher.

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