Page 91 of Tourist Trap

“Not gonna do the wholethreaten you with a shotgunthing, because I think Claire would come and kill me in my sleep if she found out.” I let out a laugh and nod. “And because from what I hear of the two Miller boys, you're the good one. Just going to say that I’m glad you finally got your head outta your ass, and if you hurt her, I won't come after you, but her sisters will, and they're much scarier than I am.”

"If they're anything like Claire, I would, in fact, be terrified of them."

He stops walking and drops his arms, turning to me with a smile.

"You'll fit right in here," he says, then leads the way into the Donovan household, and somehow, I know I passed a test.

* * *

"So what's next in your grand plan, Claire Bear?" Mr. Donovan asks, and I feel more than see Claire's body go still. When I look at her, her face is tipped down toward her slice of birthday cake, a bright pink extravaganza with extra sprinkles that I learned Sophie made with her grandmother and Jules.

"I, uh…" she says. "I'm not totally sure yet. My contract ends in September, and right now I'm having a great time helping to plan a block party fundraiser for the recreation department."

"Oh, that's so fun!" Mrs. Donovan says with a smile.

"Yeah, it is," Claire says, agreeing, but her fork continues to push around the thick layer of frosting. "I'm just kind of playing it by ear, seeing what jumps out to me next.

Silence takes over the table until Sloane breaks it.

"Must be nice," she says, and my eyes shift to hers. "Just bouncing around, doing whatever you want."

"Sloane," her mother says in a chiding tone.

"Oh, come on. That's what she does. She's never going to decide what to do when she grows up because she refuses to grow up. That's a luxury we don't all have. I'm just saying, it must be nice."

I can feel Claire sinking in on herself as she sits next to me, and without meaning to, I speak up.

"I think it's great," I say, and the room goes quiet. Next to me, Claire lifts her hands, picking at her nails. "Having the ability and the forethought to want to find something she's going to like and want to do for the rest of her life? I think that's great."

"Well, yes, but eventually you have to settle down, figure it out," Sloane says.

"Why?" I ask, and Claire reaches under the table, grabbing my knee. I don’t know if it’s just to have that contact with me or if she’s quietly telling me I don’t have to defend her but I don’t plan to stop regardless.

"Miles," Claire whispers, but her mother speaks first, surprising me as she does.

"Well, at some point, you have to stop looking for the perfect job and just take one. Life keeps moving, and it won't stop just because you don't know what you want to do for the rest of your life."

"But she's not struggling," I say, sitting back. This is a misunderstanding I myself had, and guilt eats at me now to realize that I wasn't the only one from whom she was getting this judgment. No wonder it hurt her so much: she thinks that everyone sees her this way because, in a way, they do.

"But she doesn't have aplan, either."

"Is that so bad?" Jules adds, and since she's the only other outsider here, it feels like she's on my side. "Look at Ava. She didn't know what she wanted to do and eventually found the perfect thing for herself."

"Ava is a force of nature all on her own," Nate says of Jules's best friend who won the Miss Americana contest a while back.

"So is Claire," Sutton says with a shrug. "I don't know why we're all so weird about wanting her to have some boring-ass big girl job from the get-go. She'll figure it out eventually."

"And she'sright here," Claire says. "Can we stop talking about me like I'm not in the room?"

"Mom, I love you, you know I do. Nate, I so appreciate you always looking out for me, but I'm not a kid. I'm an adult. I don't spend money superfluously, and I have no debt since I got a full ride." This is news to me, but somehow not surprising. "And I have a degree and akillerrésumé, if I do say so myself. I know I do things a bit differently than you guys would, but that's because I'm not you. And I would appreciate it if you stopped treating me like I'm some little girl who doesn't think about what's next."

"Not for nothin', Claire, but just a few months ago you came home crying because your boyfriend broke up with you," Mr. Donovan adds, and her fingers tighten on my knee.

"Yeah, Dad, because I was upset, and my family is a safe place for me to be that way. I was upset that things didn't work out the way I had hoped, and I thought that was valid. At the time, it sounded like a fun adventure, and while it might have felt out of left field when I left for LA, it was something I thought out and planned. That's why I had a job lined up there, why I saved up, and why, when it wasn't what I thought it would be, I left and came home to my family who I knew would comfort me." Her jaw gets tight before continuing. "I hate thinking that next time I make a mistake, I won't feel comfortable doing that because I'm worried you're going to hold it against me."

"Claire—" Mrs. Donovan says gently, and Claire opens her mouth to say something, but Mr. Donovan speaks first, his face thoughtful.

"You're right, you should feel comfortable to make mistakes. That's what your mom and I always wanted for you four anyway, the freedom to do what you wanted, make mistakes, and have a safe place to land." He reaches across the table to hold her hand, and her eyes start to water. "I'm sorry that we started to use that against you."

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