Page 11 of Smoke N' Stroke

Touching her hair and then her face, helped to calm my nerves as much to calm hers. Seeing her patient prepared to kill her scared the shit out of me but I had to hold it all together for her because her state of mind was more important than me processing the events. Plus, I was still trying to figure out when I became this man. The one treating her like she was mine when that hadn’t been established yet.

“But they could have.” Her eyes searched mine for answers I didn’t have.

“We have to deal with the facts as they are, Nala.”

Her head fell forward and the absence of her pretty eyes looking into mine made me lift her chin with my finger. I waited for her to focus her attention on me and just like that, I could feel the fear that had her in a grip dissolving and now the lustful tension she had for me started to appear. I tried hard to remain objective and hold fast to my purpose which was to make sure she was okay, not make sure I fucked her, but the war her eyes glazed over with desire made it clear she saw those two things serving one purpose. Still, I ignored it.

“Fact one, you are hard-headed, woman.”

She smiled.

“Fact two, you are alive and well for me to talk about it.”

“I truly appreciate you, Zaire. Thank you.”

“Anytime.”

She leaned up on her toes and wrapped her arms around me, surrounding me with that scent that drove me crazy, offering me her pliant lips. I allowed it because I knew it would bring her some comfort but when she tried deepening the kiss and reaching for my shirt, I knew I had to stop things from going further. Her eyes were hurt and confused, and I felt like an asshole, but it needed to be done. We’d already been at odds for months. If I took advantage of her in this state, she might never forgive me, or worse she’d see it as something unethical and no one needed that.

8

NALA

Iwasn’t expecting Zaire to pull away from me. I thought this was what we both wanted. He put a few feet between us, leaning against my kitchen counter. His eyes were resolute when he spoke.

“I don’t want to take advantage of you being, vulnerable, Nala.”

I didn’t want to hear any of that. I wanted him inside of me. Maybe, okay probably, the near assault pushed me into seeing what was already in my face, but nonetheless we were here and I was very clear on what I wanted. Finally.

“Who says you’d be taking advantage of me, Zaire? I want this. I want you.”

He shook his head vehemently.

“No, Nala. You are scared and it doesn’t take my clinical knowledge to see that. Don’t look at me like that.”

The rejection of a man was not something I was accustomed to. Not that I ever approached one the way I just did with Zaire. In fact I was more likely to be passive and wait for my man, and I hadn’t had one in over a year, to ask me for sex. It wasn’t because of a lack of desire; it was just how I did things and never had a problem. But here and now, I felt more vulnerable than I had in that garage. Maybe he didn’t want me. Maybe he only enjoyed playing with me. Before I flew off the handle I decided to breathe. I had been the one saying no for a long time and he honored that.

Suddenly my face felt flush. I pushed my hair up off my neck and fanned myself with my other hand. He reached around me and grabbed the water I pulled out of the refrigerator and unscrewed the cap before handing it to me.

“Here, drink some of this and calm down. You’ve been through a lot, Nala. You’re still processing it all. Can’t you see?”

I took a long swallow, feeling the cold liquid doing the Lord’s work and cooling me off.

“I feel foolish. First, I almost got myself killed and now I’m being turned down by my coworker ...”

“First of all, I resent that. I’m more than a coworker—I count you as a friend.”

I looked at him for a long moment and he chuckled.

“Okay, a friend that sometimes hates me but a friend, nonetheless. Also, it may have been foolish to stay after Raheem left but let’s be real, he’s not always paying attention. What happened today could have happened during a busy day, any day. Your patient had no idea you were semi-alone.”

That was true. “You’re pretty good at this therapy thing, Zaire.”

“Dr. Booker. Isn’t that how you do me?”

His smirk irked me. I reached out and swatted him and found his bicep to be harder than a rock.Damn.

“Still, Dr. Booker, I’m going to have to get over your rejection.”

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