Page 101 of Zimyra

“Yes. I was having a hard time last week, and I didn’t want to see you. I couldn’t see you.”

“So, you called off from work because you didn’t want to see me?”

“No. I called off work because I needed time to myself. I failed my test, I keep having flashes of that man and I—I needed some time to deal with it all. Alone.”

“So, you’re good then?” he asks me, his eyes burning with frustration and pain, yet, I see hurt and longing that he tries to conceal. “You got everything under control.”

“Ax—”

A muscle in his neck tenses. “You don’t need me for nothing.”

My heart drops. I feel tears pooling in my eyes. “I didn’t say that.”

“You’re not saying anything. That’s the problem, Zimyra. Say something.”

With trembling lips, I say, “I—I’ve been fighting…fighting hard not to…not to need you so much. I don’t want toneedanyone, but the truth is, I need you. I don’t know what I’m doing. I tried figuring that out, but I don’t think I can do it without you.”

I blink to clear my eyes of tears, feeling them fall on me like rain. Axel takes a step forward and closes his arms around me. I cry into his chest, telling him how sorry I am. I know he’s been on a rollercoaster with me, but I’ve been going through so many emotions in the last few weeks that I have no clue what direction my life is going in anymore. Here’s what I know: I know his arms around me have me feeling a sense of security I don’t feel otherwise. His hand squeezing the nape of my neck gives me comfort I can’t find on my own. His warmth settles me like a blanket on a cold day. The way he breathes is a lullaby that relaxes me. His chin resting on my head is grounding – soothing every inch of my being.

While I’m in the safety of his embrace, I say, “I’m sorry.”

I sniffle and squeeze him. There’s no more running from him. Pretending I don’t need him. This –he– isitfor me. It’s crazy, I know. I’ll just have to figure it out as I go along, but I’m no longer detaching myself from him.

He leans back just enough to see my eyes and again, he just stares – those inquisitive orbs reading the letters of my heart.

With teary eyes, I manage to flash a small smile. “Say something,” I tell him.

He smirks, wipes tears away from my face, and says, “I love you.”

I wasn’t expecting that. My legs nearly fall from beneath me. A feeling of shock courses through my limbs, through my organs – my blood – yet I still can’t comprehend what he just told me.

He continues, “I care about you. I can’t close my eyes without seeing your pretty face. I don’t want this space between us anymore. I want you. I’ve never needed anyone, but I need you. You’ve never needed anyone, but you need me. Let’s stop playing with each other like this is a game. It’s not. Feelings are involved. My heart is involved, and I know yours is, too. I love you, Zimyra. I love your eyes, your lips. I love that I love you. I love the thoughts that constantly cross my mind about you. I love the idea of making love to you. Making you feel like a woman. Making you exhausted with pleasure. I love that I will be the only man to give that to you.”

He places a kiss on my temple and says, “Is there anything I said that you don’t understand or agree with?”

I shake my head from side to side. “No, and I love you, too, Axel.”

“Don’t say it unless you mean it, sweetheart.”

“I mean it. With all my heart, I do.”

He places his hands on my face. He loves doing that, I’ve concluded – and then he lowers his mouth to mine and kisses me gently. Softly. Our lips intertwine. Our tongues get reacquainted. Axel has to be holding me up because my legs have stopped working. I’m under his spell and for the first time in my life, I like it.

Giving your heart to someone is scary. Not being in control is scary. But I’m done with being guarded. I’m going to throw caution to the wind and ride this wave wherever it takes me while at the same time praying that Axel Jennings – a professed heartbreaker – doesn’t end up breaking mine.

CHAPTER 29

I drive back to herplace because she can’t know where I live. It’ll blow my cover if she knew I was living in a penthouse apartment with full amenities. Yeah, I’m not ready to disclose all of that yet.

I get out and hold her hand as I walk with her to the apartment. When I step inside, I see the place is in disarray – so not like her.

“I’m sorry. It’s a mess in here. I wasn’t in the right headspace to do any kind of organization.”

“Don’t worry about it. I’ll straighten all of this up for you.”

“No, you won’t. I’ll do it.”

I close my arms around her and say, “Here’s what you’re going to do. You are going to take a shower and get into bed. And while you rest and watch TV or sleep…whatever you do at nine o’clock on a Saturday night at home, I’m going to tidy up the place. Got it?”

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