Page 21 of Dragon's Revenge

Adar grabbed his biceps and stopped him. “If someone used those words about themselves, what would you tell them?”

Delton’s eyes widened for a moment, and then he chuckled softly. “You’re using one of my own strategies against me. Smart. Okay, I’ll concede. Despite what you may have concluded after I got so emotional the other day, I’m not that easy to break.”

“Maybe not, but I still don’t want to take risks.” He was way too scared of losing whatever fragile bond was developing between them again.

“I get that. Anyway, I don’t mind talking about this. It’s a topic that fascinates me, so you may actually regret asking. I tend to dive deep when it comes to this.”

Adar smiled. He’d found something Delton was passionate about. How about that? “Hit me with it.”

“The brain is a fascinating organ. A lot of what happens there is at a subconscious level, neurons that fire rapidly, reacting to signals we don’t even consciously register. Our brain’s primary task is to keep us alive and, connected to that, protect us. It will go to great lengths to do that, even protecting from emotional pain. That’s why some people can’t remember any details of a traumatizing event they experienced. Their brain is protecting them from the pain it would cause to remember. Oliver’s brain has had to work hard at keeping him alive, and I suspect it’s now recovering by sleeping more.”

Adar let that sink in. “So is it his brain that’s tired or his body?”

“Well, that’s a complicated question because our brain is the central processing unit of our bodies. The pain you feel when you stub your toe, for example, you may feel in your toe, but it’s your brain that sends the signal. So, is the body tired? Or does the brain decide that based on the signals? Not so easy to answer, but the result is the same.”

Adar had never looked at it like that, and it was a fascinating realization. Of course for him, it triggered a different type of question. “How is it possible then that my brain has decided it likes pain?”

“Oh, good question. Our bodies release hormones when we’re in pain. Those endorphins are meant to help us process the pain, but for some people, they have a stronger effect. Runners, for example, often experience what they call a runner’s high after about half an hour of running. Their body’s endorphin rush makes them feel almost high. That’s what your body is doing as well in response to pain.”

Adar frowned. “So why do I hate it and fight it at the same time? I know I will love it, yet it’s always hard before and afterward.”

“That’s the battle between your conscious brain, which decides that hell no, it doesn’t want pain, and your subconscious, which knows it’ll be worth it. It has experienced the award before and wants that again. And afterward, your conscious brain takes over again, which is why you fight the aftercare.”

The way Delton explained it was so logical. It reminded Adar of that well-known saying about there being two wolves inside you, a good one and a bad one. Except in his case, it was more a case of a wolf who knew what was good for him, what he needed, and one who fought it every step of the way…because he didn’t want to need it. “I don’t like that I need it,” he said softly. “It makes me feel vulnerable.”

Delton nodded. “I can completely understand that, especially from a badass alpha like you. Admitting a weakness isn’t easy, especially not a weakness that puts you at the mercy of someone else.” Then he cocked his head as he studied Adar from aside. “Was it easier for you with your friend because he was a fellow alpha? Or harder for that same reason?”

“Easier, but not because of that. Because he’s always been my friend and never judged me for it. With others, there’s always that fear of them judging me.”

“Even with me?”

“No.” Adar’s answer had come instinctively, but on its heels came the deep realization of its truth. “I know you won’t judge. You’re the most nonjudgmental person I’ve ever met.”

“Thank you.” A smile spread across Delton’s face. “That’s a wonderful compliment.”

“I mean it.”

“I know.” Delton patted his arm again. “You’re a man who’s economical with his words, but you mean what you say.”

Oh, Adar liked hearing that. And he liked Delton touching him even more. Feeling bold, he reached for Delton’s hand, and when the beta didn’t protest or pull away, he laced their fingers together. When Delton accepted his touch, a thrill rolled down Adar’s spine. More progress.

“Does that also mean you’ll ask me again?” Delton asked after a little while.

“Ask you for what?” Adar’s brain had gone offline, too preoccupied with the sensation of Delton’s hand in his.

“For a session.”

Adar’s brain screeched back online. “Oh. I didn’t… I wasn’t sure if… You’re still willing to do it?”

“Yes.” Delton bit his lip. Then he said more quietly, “I really liked it.”

“Yeah?” The joy Adar had felt at their hands touching was nothing compared to the sheer spike of pure exaltation that now filled him.

“Very much so. So if you want to do it again…”

“Yes. Fuck, yes, please.”

They had both stopped and were now facing each other, still holding hands. Delton’s smile was shy, almost careful—another reminder of the fragility of what they were building. “Just tell me when.”

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