Page 16 of Irrevocably Mine

A groan cut off her words and it wasn’t until Dax had his tongue down her throat that he realized it was him who’d made the sound. Ending the kiss, Dax leaned his forehead to hers. “You don’t suck at relationships, Stacy, you don’t suck at all.”

“Then why have I failed at every one I ever tried?”

Shifting his hands to her cheeks, which for the first time he realized were damp, he stared into the blue that had become his favorite shade in the world and imparted as much sincerity into his words as humanly possible, “Because they were wrong for you. They sucked for you because they weren’t me. They weren’t for you, Stacy. I am.”

“Even with everything you know about me, you really still want to give this a shot? Why?”

Here goes nothing. Knowing he could be effectively chasing her away, full disclosure started now. “Because you are mine, you were always meant to be mine…and I love you.”

The word hung in the air like a nuclear cloud after it mushroomed, but before it started to disperse. Any minute now, their relationship would be vaporized by it, rendering his heart uninhabitable for anyone else. Dax dropped his hands as time marched on. He would leave now—leave her, leave any future they had, leave everything that he could’ve had—abandon it here in her entryway, taking the poison with him so she could go on without him. Dax nodded once and stepped around her toward the door.Damn it, I knew that was the one word she wasn’t ready for.

The blast of unseasonal cold hit him when he broke the seal of the door.When did that happen?It was hot as Hell this time of year, and just two minutes ago, it was stifling. Dax realized then that the external temperature no longer held sway over his body. The cold was radiating from him.

Each step across her wood, plank porch was a bullet to the chest, the ricochet of his boots the report. By the time he reached the first step, he was a shell, a hull…a wraith. At least he left it all on the field, isn’t that what they say when a team loses to make them feel better? Well, he didn’t feel better. He never would again.

What the fuck? He loves me? Me?She was nowhere near ready to say it back. Not because she didn’t feel it, she most certainly did, but she couldn’t voice it. There were too many firsts for one night. Stacy was overwhelmed with everything that went down in the last twenty-four hours. The words may not come verbally, but she damn sure could show him.

But, he’s leaving; he’s walking out of our life. Stop him.

That was officially the moment her inner voices spoke in unison before merging for good. No more keeping parts of Stacy separate, they were all her, and she finally embraced them. It took Dax walking out on her, loving her, to finally realize she could be all those things her voices represented. They could exist in harmony. For so long, she thought they were mutually exclusive. A kick ass lawyer couldn’t be mushy. A cancer survivor couldn’t be sexy. An independent woman couldn’t need a man. But in that moment, she realized none of that was true. She could be all those things and more. Stacy Olivia Roberts could be everything—for herself, and for Dax.

Turning to tell him the good news brought the realization that he wasleavingleaving, like halfway down the steps leaving. Dax was already on the last rung when she ran after him and flung herself on his back like a monkey. Dax stumbled but spun around and caught her in his arms. Stacy had the feeling he always would. No matter what, he would catch her. With the foot height difference between them, her position a step above him afforded her a rare view of Dax. The hurt in his dark eyes tore her up. She was responsible for it.

“Please, come back inside. I want to do this, the whole this, long lost daughters and all. I want you Dax, in my life, not just my bed. I think I need a relationship with you, which, I’m not gonna lie, is scary as fuck. It won’t be easy, I can promise you that, but I am willing to try to make it work. Just give me time, this is new territory for me.” Stacy didn’t miss the flair in his eyes at the wordneed.Dax was a man who wanted to be wanted, but needed to be needed. She could tell the message wasn’t lost on him. For her to need anything was a huge deal, and he knew it. She also liked to think he would interpret her need as love until she was ready to say the words.

Dax’s mouth was rough and unyielding. Desperate. When he broke the kiss, they were both panting. “Do you mean it, woman? Because I can’t do casual. I know I let you believe I would try, but I can’t. It’s all or nothing. I’m sorry, I can’t offer anything else.” His voice was rougher than usual and it meant so much to her that he needed her on that level and was man enough to admit it. No games, no cat and mouse, just take me as I am or not at all. Very Dax, very country song. It reminded her of a band she used to go see in a bar in Kansas—Bad Attitude. She couldn’t remember the title of the song they sang, but it was basically that. Take me as I am, as you see me. Hold me in your arms. That summed up Dax. And she wouldn’t want him any other way.

“Yes, I mean it. Now, carry me to the bedroom and make love to me like you meant every wordyousaid.” Stacy took his mouth with the same desperation he had earlier. She couldn’t stop the roll of her hips, but instead of riding his thigh, she was enjoying the friction of Dax’s thick cock through his jeans. That’s another point in the win column for being the same height as him, even temporarily.Being a short girl has its perks most days, but this, this is fucking nice, too.

Dax freed his mouth to speak, but kept up the dry humping,thank God.“I meant every syllable, Stacy. And as much I want to be balls-deep in your luscious body, we do still need to talk. There are a lot of things that need to be said.” The moan that sounded torn from his body was pure bliss to her ears. Talk was cheap, but actions, actions were where it was at. Besides, she knew everything she needed to know to make her choice. The rest mattered, for sure, but it wouldn’t change their budding relationship. She wouldn’t let it. Hell, if she didn’t let the fact he was still married to a woman he hadn’t seen in years bother her, then everything else was pretty much child’s play. “But if you keep doing that, I’m going to say screw it all and throw you down right here on your porch for all and sundry to see.”

Between kisses, they managed to hold somewhat of a conversation. Both were stalling for time to wrap their heads around everything. “Old Ms. Miller would absolutely love that,” Stacy joked while looking over his shoulder, squinting into the dark. Sure enough, there was an aged face peering between the curtains. Stacy waved and the curtain dropped, fluttering back into place. “She’s probably speed-dialing county PD right now to report us for indecent exposure.” They both laughed a little and kissed a lot. “She’s a sweet old lady though, just nosy as hell.”

“That’s small town living at its finest, but we really should move this talk inside.” When Dax tried to disengage from Stacy, she became rabid. Her legs went around his waist like a vice and her arms looped his neck.

“Nu-uh. You are not getting away and this ‘talk’ is definitely moving inside, but fuck first,thentalk.” Stacy shut down the protest before Dax gave it voice. “I know we need to talk, I get that, I really do, but I need you, Dax. Like I’ve never needed anyone. Secrets can wait. There’s nothing you can tell me that will change my mind. I promise we will talk, but how about an intermission conversation rather than a prologue, what do you say?”

Before he could answer, she snaked one hand between them and around the front of his pants, cupping his balls and base. One squeeze was all it took to elicit a growled, “Fuck,” and spurBigDax into action.

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