Page 25 of Irrevocably Mine

“What cat?” A serene but inquisitive voice cut through the room.

“Oh, shit!” Stacy screamed and reached for the key to her drawer and the protection of her nine. Luckily, she couldn’t find the key. Realization that it was Gus’ voice hit her when the pixie lady gasped and sloshed water over the sides of a glass. “Jesus, lady, you scared the shit out of me. What are you doing here?” Scanning the area, she noticed the key hanging on the closet door now.John. Typical John—worried about her hurting herself or someone else under the influence, but also not wanting to leave her wholly defenseless.

“You? I’m the pregnant one here, I almost wet my pants.” Gus approached the bed, extending her hands, offering up the water in one, and two white tablets hidden in the other. Stacy gratefully accepted both. “Seriously, what cat?”

Of course, Gus the Crazy Cat Lady would care about that. “The one that shit in my mouth, that cat.” Stacy watched the confusion turn to amusement as her joke sank in. After tossing back the pills and gulping water, Stacy asked again, “Not that I’m not grateful, but what are you doing here?”

“John called me from somewhere past Mobile before he hit cell Hell and asked me to come by and take care of you. Coffee was on a timer when I got here, it’ll be ready in a minute. Aspirin and water on the counter, key under the mat, something about Dax, and John accidentally has your phone. That was all I could make out because the reception was spotty.”

Leave it to John to think of everything. Even running on no sleep,he never lets me down. Shit, her phone. It was like living without a limb for her, plus, she really needed to talk to Dax. She should think about a landline, just for occasions like this. It may be a first world problem, but it still sucked donkey balls.

“Thanks, lady, but you didn’t have to come and take care of me. I’ve had enough experience at hangovers.” Stacy made a dash for the bathroom. Actually, dash was an overstatement; it was more of a waddle power walk—a bladder full of tequila and a mouth full of cotton, oh yeah, drinking rocks.

While she was in the bathroom, Stacy decided it was time she had fewer secrets. Gus was a good enough friend to come over and care for her drunk ass, afterall. She moved out to the bedroom where Gus waited and sucked in a deep breath.

“I love Dax,” Stacy semi-shouted it. She wanted to test how it felt to say it aloud. Nothing like a blurted statement to say the L word about someone the first time.Way to go, Killer, real smooth. She prayed she would have a bit more finesse when it came time to say it Dax.

Oh God, here come the waterworks. Gus’ eyes started to glisten, and her delicate hands flew to her mouth.Oh no, no, no no. She’s moving in. Gus is going to…Yep, too late, she’s hugging me and bawling and mumbling about the beauty of love.“Just shoot me now,” Stacy protested as she wrapped her arms around the other woman and held her tight.

“Shush, Stacy, it’s not that bad and you know it. I’m a good friend, so I’ll let you pretend, but I’ll always know that you hugged me back and liked it.” They stayed in that embrace for a while, at least until Gus’ tears were under control. Gus pulled away first and that was a rare occurrence. “As lovely as this is, I’ve gotta pee…now.” She bolted for the bathroom.

Was Gus rubbing off on her? Stacy was more comfortable with affection in general. And more importantly, she trusted the people around her to be there when she needed. She was starting to feel like she belonged. Not just on the fringes or close to a few, but a part of a whole group, The Reids. An ache bloomed in her gut, one with Troy’s name written all over it. How long had she wished this for him as he was growing up? Dreamed he’d have more than just her and John. Was that why she pushed them away for so long, pushed everyone away? She blamed it on the mess with Hank, and sure, he influenced her actions, especially where men were concerned, but was it guilt over Troy that had her keeping other ties at a distance?

That revelation rocked her to the core. It was. “I keep men at a distance because of Hank, but I shun any chance at a family because of guilt, plain and simple. I’ve been refusing to indulge in something I couldn’t provide for my little brother.” Stacy hadn’t realized she spoke aloud or that Gus was out of the bathroom until the woman cupped her cheeks and her blurry face entered her vision.Blurry? Tears.

Stacy launched herself into Gus’ arms and hugged her with total abandon this time. “Ohmygod, Gus. So much makes sense now. It’s like years of questions have been answered in a single second.”

“I’m so happy for you.” Something in her voice was…different. As Gus created enough distance to stare at her face, Stacy studied the other woman’s eyes but she couldn’t identify what she was seeing there. As expected, there were tears, it was Gus, after all. There was true happiness directed at Stacy, but there were some unidentified emotions and that bothered the shit out of the lawyer part of her.

Before Stacy could quiz her friend, she whispered in a tone full of awe, “You’re my second unicorn, and…I...I feel the same way.” A sound of disbelief puffed from her mouth, disturbing the air around them. Gus leaned in and kissed her hard on the lips. “I’m drawn to you in the same way I was with Walker, but it’s not sexual, it never was.”

Ohhhhhkayyyyy?

As Gus stared at her with a kind of reverence, Stacy pieced together what Gus, Tori, and Erika had told her about Walker’s recovery and Gus’ words started to make sense. There was a moment when Gus was helping Walker overcome his anger issues, some fueled by alcohol, when Walker had a revelation of sorts. Gus described it at seeing someone’s soul or something like that and she was attracted to Walker in that moment. Everyone had forgiven her but she hadn’t forgiven herself, thinking she crossed a line in her mind.

It was obvious Gus had just witnessed that with Stacy and it somehow absolved her of the guilt she’s been lugging around for over a year.Holy hell, Stacy, the more time you spend with these people, the closer you are to reading auras and aligning chi or some shit.Even the self-chastisement couldn’t negate what had taken place. Real or imagined, it changed something in Gus for the better.

Dropping to her knees, Stacy knelt in front of her friend and took her hands in hers. “You’re your own unicorn, Gus. Look at you. You’re here crying and beaming, all at the same time, over something that happened over a year ago. How does it feel to finally let go?” Stacy only asked because she felt the same but didn’t have the words to adequately describe it.

“You’re right, I am and it feels…like my soul has been liberated from a suffocating prison.”

Yeah, that.

“I want it all Gus, with Dax, I mean. I want the teenage kid, babies, a yappy fucking dog, his laundry that misses the hamper and holiday dinners where at least three people fight and get pissed off about dry turkey and shitty pie. I want a real family.”

“Then, take it. Dax has wrapped it up in a bow for you, all you have to do is take it.” Stacy rose and helped Gus to her feet. She wasn’t showing a lot yet, but she still seemed to not be a spry as she used to be.

“I will, I’m going to go over there as soon as I scrape the fuzz off my teeth…”

Gus wiped her own mouth, then interrupted, “Yeah, lady, please do. The kiss was nice, but the smell wasn’t.” Another whole body laugh followed.Oh yeah, she was rubbing off on Gus.

“But you have to promise me something?” At Gus’ nod, she continued. “Promise me you’ll take it too? John can do the same thing for you, but he’s more of a hide-the-package kind of guy, or deny its existence. No pun intended. Believe me when I say he has it wrapped up and ready to offer, but the pregnancy announcement threw him for a loop. You need to go after him or he will sit back and allow you both to be miserable. Can you just, I don’t know, call him over to your place and just get naked and jump him? Believe me, right now, that’s about the only signal he will get.”

Gus blushed. It was weird watching a pregnant woman blush talking about sex. “I was thinking of doing just that, not that I planned to share with his sister, ew.”

“Ew, indeed, but desperate times and all that.” Stacy paused to collect her thoughts. She wasn’t used to letting her emotions drive her so it took some getting used to. “Thank you, Gus. Just your presence makes a difference and I can’t wait until we’re sisters in truth. Now, mushy shit aside, I need to get ready and go stake me a claim. Like his Viking ancestors, I’ve got pillaging to do.”

Talking with Sam was surreal, heck, looking at her was no better. She was still Sam, just older. Of course, he was too. Other than the physical differences, she seemed like the same girl he cared about when they first started dating. What surprised him most was the affection he felt for her. It wasn’t sexual, but it did seem to run deep, which made sense even when many things didn’t. They’d been each other’s first, and you always hold a special place for that person in your heart. But it was more than that. They had created an amazing human being with that affection.

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