Page 25 of Inevitably Yours

“What the fuck was that about?” Stacy blurted as soon as the door closed.”

“I don’t know, but you have to stop laughing, my stomach is cramping.

“Scrabble. Es and Is? I think Francis is finally losing it. She done lost her marbles, bless her heart,” Stacy imitated Francis, and they laughed some more.

Gus didn’t want to bring them down, but she loved Stacy like a sister, and since she was actually John’s sister, Gus needed to tell her that she was planning to go out with other people.

“Stacy—” Gus began but was interrupted by her best friend.

“Do you think Francis was talking about you and John somehow, in her weird southern way? You know she is like Dax in that she kind of reads people in a way not even I can.” She paused for a thoughtful moment. “I mean, there was the whole apron thing. Use your lemons for something else while you wait for lemonade…John. Then the Es and playing other words could be you moving on and John could be the I that you are passing turns waiting on.”

“That seems like a stretch, even for Francis.” But now that Stacy put it that way, it was like a weird, twisted thing Francis would say if that’s what she meant. She never spoke plainly unless it was a “Come to Jesus” talk. Most times, she talked like she wanted the intended person to have to think long and hard to get it so they put their issues into perspective. Strange method but generally effective. She wasn’t ready to dig into it just yet, so she brushed it off.

“Yeah.” That was all Stacy said for bit. “However, even if that was not her meaning, it is mine.”

You could’ve knocked Gus over with a look, she was so stunned. Is Stacy saying what I think?

“I’ve given it a lot of thought since we last talked about John, and I think you should get out there. Seriously. I know I said it earlier and all, but I mean, for real. I love my brother, and I know he cares for you, but I also know that he must come to the realization that he might want to try on his own and in his own time. And until he deals with some of his own issues, he isn’t going to do that.”

“I know. I pretty much had that epiphany, too.”

“I also know that if he thinks you are too wrapped up in him, he will either push hard the other way or, come to you without dealing with that crap out of some twisted sense of honor.”

Gus snuggled into her friend’s arm. “I know that, too. Which is why I asked a guy out.”

The soft stroking of her arm ceased. “Seriously, Pixie, you fucking asked a guy out? For real?” Gus nodded. “Oh, my fucking God, I am so proud of you. So, who is it, where, when?” As if summoned by their words, Gus’ phone rang, and it was Jesse.

“I’ll tell you in a minute.”

Gus could hardly keep a straight face while talking on the phone with all the faces and lewd gestures Stacy was making. She had barely hung up when Stacy started dancing around the living room and singing, “My girl is getting laid. My girl is getting laid. She gonna suck some dick, she—”

“Oh, my God, Stacy, enough already. What are you, twelve? It’s just a movie and dinner. I don’t plan on jumping into bed with anyone anytime soon, especially not on a first date.”

“You mean especially not John, don’t you?” Gus didn’t answer, she didn’t need to. Stacy stopped singing, dancing, and her attitude went from amused to serious immediately. “I know how much you care about him, but you can’t wait for him to pull his head out of his ass, either.”

That was the second time she heard it today. Now she was positive that’s what Francis had said, too.

Stacy hugged her, and then let her go. “Just promise me you’ll give this guy, or any other who might float your boat, a chance. I’m not telling you to give up on John, I believe he will come around and realize what he could have had and come running to you like your snatch is lined in gold. But he can only realize what he lost when it’s not sitting here waiting for him, and hey, if he never does, who knows, this whatshisname could be the one.”

“Jesse. Whatshisname is Jesse.”

“As in legal clerk Jesse? Woohoo, girl you are in for the ride of your life, or so I heard. Julie from the probate office went out with him last year after the Christmas party. Everyone was lit, and it was a onetime thing, but the bitch hasn’t shut up about it since. His dick is legend around the courthouse. Carl, who plays on baseball with him, says it’s at least eight inches and not pencil thin either but a nice girthy cock.”

“Stacy, ew. Why are you waxing poetic about another man’s penis, anyway? You’re usually going on and on about Dax’s.”

“No one compares to my Dax, I’m just sharing all the information I have with my girl.”

“Yeah, well, thanks to your…description, I doubt I could look at it, even if I wanted to.”

“Whatever, pull that stick out of your ass and live a little. For someone who helps men with all sorts of problems including,” she air quoted, “‘penis’ problems, you are kind of a prude sometimes.”

Ouch.

That stung coming from Stacy. Maybe because it was true. Her experience in the bedroom with partners was limited, but she knew more about human sexuality than darn near everyone. She was comfortable with her own body, her own nudity…when she wasn’t pregnant, anyway. She explored plenty…solo, she just never had a partner who looked at her body like a new land to be explored and discovered. No one ever tested her limits to see what would provide the most fulfilling experience for her.

Also, some things are not as easy to unlearn as others. Gus was raised not to openly talk crudely about sex. While she had no shame when it was under the umbrella of healing, she found it was harder for her to just joke about it the way Stacy did.

“I’m sorry, Pixie, I didn’t mean that as an insult, just that you need to lighten up, especially with me. If you can’t let your hair down with me, then who can you let it down with? You need to be free, like you are in every other area of your life. Trust me, restraining who you are because someone taught you that’s how ladies act is bullshit.” Stacy knew exactly where she was coming from. Other than Jan, she was the one person who knew the most about how she was raised.

“When John does come around, don’t send him packing because you are afraid to ask for what you want. Because if you do, especially after dating or not pursuing him for a while, he will convince himself it’s because you doubt what you want from him.”

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