Page 45 of Unmistakably Us

Fifteen

“Gus, please let me explain. I—”

Gus spun on her heels. “You don’t have to explain anything to me, Jan. You know that. I said what I needed to say, and so did you. You insist on going back, but God only knows why. I’ve accepted it. I don’t fucking like it, but you’re an adult.” Clapping came from behind, and January turned to see Stacy smiling and applauding.

“Not now, hooker, not now.” Gus raised her voice to her best friend. Stacy surrendered and leaned again the counter, boring her gaze into January.

“But how dare you string him along? That’s just cruel. You owe him more than what you’re about to bestow on him. I’ve always said we are more than our past actions, but this is now. You know you’re on the way out and that just happened in front of everyone.”

Her sister actually had to take a breath, she was so mad. That’s a first; Gus didn’t do mad.

“I may not know Logan well, but I can tell you for him to do a public display like that means something, you mean something, and you’re just going to throw it away?”

“It’s not like that, Gus. I swear. Just please, can we talk about this later?”

“Excuse me, did she say you’re leaving? I don’t mean to make this about me or Michael or everyone else, but he thinks the world of Logan, shit, we all do, and if you haven’t noticed, Logan is the type to bolt. It wouldn’t surprise me if he still keeps his clothes in a duffle. If you’re leaving after that, shouldn’t you at least give him an explanation?”

“Tori, shush,” her mother interjected. “While my beautiful daughter has a point, and yes, we’re all invested in the both of you, separately and together, this right here, is about you and Logan and no one else.”

January let her eyes assess the older woman’s for a meaning that floated between the two of them privately.

“I do mean no one else.” It was clear she meant Gus and her parents.

The last time January felt this lost was, shit, she didn’t remember, but right now, she felt like a five-year-old who lost her parents in a department store. The faces looked friendly, but they weren’t the ones she was looking for. No matter where she looked, she didn’t belong, alone and terrified among housewares.

Hurting Logan was the last thing she ever wanted to do. Hell, hurting any of them was. She knew Gus was hurting because she didn’t understand her need to run back to their emotionally abusive and controlling parents. But to see the pain and confusion on Tori and Erika’s faces was rough, too.

Stacy looked disappointed, like she expected more, but there was also a bit of sympathy and curiosity. She knew about the paperwork she’d drawn up to leave Logan Demon, so she knew there were feelings there. It was probably the lawyer in her that needed to know why since she knew it wasn’t because she didn’t give a shit.

Staring into Francis’ eyes was hard. She knew more than anyone and she disapproved—boy, did she disapprove—but she was a woman of honor and wouldn’t out January because she had asked her not to and it would hurt others.

Her sister’s pain damn near broke her. She wanted to shout, I’m doing this for you.I promise it’s better this way. But of course, she would never do that. To drive that last nail in the coffin for Gus having any reconciliation with their parents was unthinkable. The level of pain she had already endured was more than enough. Gus didn’t need to know her parents were using her to control January. Nope, there is too much guilt there already.

January stiffened her resolve. She would have to stand her ground, even if it meant disappointing the women in this room and the men outside. Hurting or disappointing this family was the last fucking thing she wanted, but she had made her choice for reasons that were her own. Right or wrong, she’d see it though.

“While I appreciate your concern, especially for Lo—” The doorbell halted her words. Not exactly a bad thing, or so she thought until Gus opened the front door. January’s world tilted on it’s axis when she saw her mother’s superior face with her father at her back, as always.

“Augusta,” her mother spoke in a formal tone, as if she were addressing the man who delivered her packages. “I am here for my daughter.” January wanted to step in, leave the kitchen and advert her parent’s attention. Instead, her feet were rooted to the tile while she observed with a head tilted around the column dividing the kitchen from the living space.

“Which one would that be?” Gus queried after throwing the door wide and taking a defensive stance. What was left of January’s hope shattered. Her mother treated Gus like a nuisance, not a daughter. It was clear, her mother had well and truly written off her first-born child.

“The only one worthy of the moniker, or at least she was, until you got your claws in her.” January was aware of Francis’ tense stance next to her but it was the string of low curses coming from her that had January turning to see if she had been possessed, because this was not the norm.

“Lovely to see you too, Mother. Father. So what’s the rush? Jan is young and will have plenty of years to wither under your thumb if she choses. Why not let her live a little now? Enjoy life, experience things, don’t you want her to be happy?”

Leave it to Gus to go for the kill with a smile on her face. January had better intervene fast because her mother would drop a bomb just to level her own daughter. She could practically read the words poised on her mother’s tongue. No, you did the living for the both of you, now she must do her duty because you failed to do so. You failed at everything. You are no daughter of mine.

Those were the words that terrified January. She had heard them a thousand times, had them drilled into her. Their mother spoke about Gus in a very unflattering way, but then she would turn around, apologize to January and explain why she’d said it. The apologies and explanations were usually more insulting that the original offense; she could finally see that now. They weren’t apologies at all, but strategies. Melody Thorne knew if she pushed too hard to come between them, she’d lose January altogether. January felt like such a fucking chump for having fell for it so many times and gotten in too deep because of it.

Knowing the truth now didn’t really help. The damage was done, so to speak, and she would give anything for Gus to never have to hear any of those words from her mother. She swallowed her pride, gulped down the past months and everything it made her feel. She even ingested all the pain she was about to cause by seemingly siding with the enemy because it would be worth it in the long-run.

Forgive me, sister. I love you more than I can ever express.Glancing at Francis, she made another mental declaration. She wanted, no needed, to turn and catch a glimpse of Logan through the glass, but she knew if she did, she would likely sacrifice everything, including her sister at the altar of her mother for one more night in his arms, and that was a price she simply could not pay. Not after all she’d done until this point.

Besides, her mother was a shrewd predator. She realized that now, and if she got the slightest whiff of Logan being more than just another body milling about the area, she would seek and destroy just to bring January to heel. Hurting him by leaving would be nothing compared to the damage her mother could do.

Fake smile in place, one so obvious even her mother would know—good, I want her to—she forced her feet to move forward one shaky step at a time.

“Mom, Dad, so good to see you.” The obvious opposite sentiments were apparent in January’s voice as she shouldered her way around her sister to air-kiss their cheeks. “But I’m not sure to what we owe the pleasure? As you can see, we are in the middle of a social gathering, maybe I could give you a call at your hotel as soon as we are done with dinner?”

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