Page 49 of Unmistakably Us

“Yes, I am supposed to get married soon. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to pack and meet my parents.”

She spun on her heels before anyone could possibly corner her. January didn’t know if she could hold up to any scrutiny right now, but she needed to be strong. She’d come up with a plan. She’d fix this, but right now, she couldn’t handle anything but the pain. That took all her focus.

Tori’s voice floated down the hall as she made her way to her room, followed by the others’.

“Something’s not right, Michael. This is not right.” Francis was telling Gus to leave her be. Andrew was threatening to follow her down the hallway and demand answers, but she heard Marco halt him. Stacy spoke to Gus in a semi-hushed tone, telling her to not stress that January was sharper than she was credited with. That gave her pause, high praise from Stacy. There were other agreements, arguments, and questions, but January shut the door on them all and began to pack.

When the last of her belongings were packed in her oversized duffle and backpack, January fell onto the bed and let the tears flow. When she had indulged enough to make her look utterly horrible, she dried her tears and stiffened her spine. There would be plenty of time for crying. Now, she needed to leave, get to her parents and relax them with her cooperation if she had any hope of finding a way out of this.

She left the tank top she bought for her sister on the bed. FIGHT LIKE A GIRL with a cute pinup tattoo-style picture. It was Gus. Letting her fingers glide across the design, she vowed to take it to heart.

Shouldering her bag and backpack, she opened the top drawer to double-check all the papers marked for Stacy were where she’d told her they would be. She’d given her most already, just a few loose ends. With any luck, it wouldn’t matter, but in case she wasn’t quite clever enough to figure it out, this would have to do. She penned a quick note and added it to the envelope.

With one last sigh, she walked out of the room and headed toward the most uncomfortable goodbyes she could imagine.

Francis was the first to hug her and whisper words of love and encouragement. “Don’t you worry about what anyone says. This will work out. Don’t you ever doubt that. And don’t let that woman get into your head, you hear me? She is poison. You do what’s right for you, not anyone else. The good Lord will take care of everyone else and until he does, I’ll do what I can to help them along.”

As convoluted as her words always seemed, somehow, they made sense to January. Not only that, Francis spoke with such conviction, January wanted to believe.

One by one, everyone embraced her and said kind words. Not a single one mentioned what a horrible person she was; that was a small comfort. Of course, Francis probably put the hammer down while she was packing.

Saying goodbye to Michael was harder than she expected. She clung to him a bit more than the other members of the Reid family. She prayed she did not cost him his brother or Logan his. Besides, even if few others could see the resemblance, she could, and there was a measure of peace in embracing him.

It was almost as if he sensed something deeper too because he let her hold the hug, and he squeezed her just a bit tighter.

The goodbye that would tear at her soul was the only one left. Gus. Her sister clung to her and bawled her eyes out, but true to the standard set by the room, she didn’t mention the wedding. She said goodbye in true Gus form.

“You are more than a result of a few decisions. There is nothing you can do in this life that makes you unworthy of love. You deserve everything, sis. I love you and nothing you do or don’t do will ever change that.”

Just when January breathed a small sigh of relief, her sister added, “Our parents are morons, and you do not have to follow their path. Blaze your own. Find your own joy and have no regrets.”

With those last words, the tears burst through once again. They were both blubbering so loud, Francis’ added declaration was almost missed, almost. “The worst thing to live with is regret. It’s easier to live with damn near anything else, even heartbreak, but regrets will gut a soul over time.”

* * *

Married?His January was getting married. No, obviously not his. She never was. Logan had never felt so unworthy as he did in that moment. Considering he had spent his whole life in that state, that was saying something.

He felt like such a fool. Yet again, he didn’t measure up and someone he allowed himself to care about deemed him less than and chose someone else over him. Would this cycle ever end?

Logan chided himself for believing he could measure up. He’d totally bought into the illusion that he could be loved, especially by someone as amazing as January. Fucking idiot.

There was nothing to do for it now but see if he could reverse all the pipe dreams he put in motion and then get the hell out of Dodge.

Usually, he had some idea of where he would go when it all when to shit, but not this time. This time, he had let the Reids get into his head, and he didn’t have a contingency plan, and that just infuriated him more.

His whole life had trained him not to get comfortable, and he’d be damned if he didn’t let an upper crust piece of ass that was slummin’ change all that.

When he met January, he never even dreamed she’d ever sleep with him. Not that he didn’t want her, it was just not what his goal was in the beginning.

Believe it or not, he actually wanted to get to know her and the more he did, the more he really liked her on a level he had never gotten to know another female.

But once he saw her dance, that was all she wrote. His whole mission became to experience that same rhythm, but horizontally.

And vertically, and diagonally.

For a while, he was a king among men. He had January, he had the Reids, and he was on the path to having his brother. It was never something he wanted, to be a part of a family, but somehow, January had made him want. Want more than he had ever dreamed of, including being a part of a family like the Reids.

For something he had never wanted, he was sure mourning the loss of it now. Because he did want, and that was yet one more thing to lay at her feet. He was a perfectly miserable guy before she let him in. It wasn’t an ideal existence, but it was one he was comfortable with. One he had made peace with a long time ago, but then she made him want more.

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