Page 20 of Thunder

“That was. . .incredible.” She hated being vulnerable, hated it with a passion, but she felt it was the most honest she could be to honor the moment.

The contented groan he made just before burrowing into their embrace deeper, spoke volumes. She got the distinct impression he wasn’t a cuddler.

“Not over yet, I need to take care of you.” He didn’t move and she wasn’t sure what taking care she needed, but she didn’t ask. After just a few quick seconds, he grabbed the helmet and stood. Placing it on an empty dummy head on the shelf.

He strode to the bathroom. She heard the water running. When he returned, he scooped her off the bed and carried her to the bathroom. The garden tub was filling with steaming water and musky scented bubbles.

Shit, this man is damn near perfect. A wave of sadness and regret washed over her. If only she’d approached him like she wanted to three years ago, they might have started something special. The kind of something that would have them planning or starting a family by now.Whoa.

Andy didn’t want kids, like seriously considered taking a surgical route to prevent it. So why now was she thinking of families and mortgage payments?

That line of thinking after great sex on a woman’s behalf was the exact reason men didn’t call back and ghosted like nobody’s business.

Even knowing she was likely stoned on dopamine and whatever other drugs flooded the brain after sex, she couldn’t rein in her thoughts. There was something about the man that drew her in. Even years ago when he didn’t have the long hair, ink, or the beard. When he was rocking the all-American boy next door vibe, it sucked her in.

Now that they’d been intimate, she wanted to know more about him. Like the military men in the picture, who were they? They obviously meant something to him.

Or the flight helmet he’d put on her but seemed to regard reverently.

He lowered them both into the water with a sigh of relief. “The helmet? You said you wore it every flight in the hog. It seems really special to you?”

Nick reached for the bath wash. Squeezed a generous amount in his palm and rubbed them together creating a “him”scented lather. He worked the lather into her shoulders, raising one arm and caressing it. She accepted he wasn’t in a sharing mood when he focused his efforts on her hand. It felt amazing. She allowed her eyes to close as he soaped and massaged her fingers.

“First, it’s hawg, not hog.” Even though it was low and soft, his voice startled her. He continued cleaning her, moving to her other arm as he went. “I flew the A-10. Made some lifelong friendships along the way. Brotherhood and flying were my life, still is. Just the uniform and the vehicle have changed.”

There was fondness in his voice, but a profound sadness too. “Did three tours overseas. Saw more shit than I ever imagined. Lost more brothers than I ever wanted to. More death than any human should ever know. Been there, done that, got the t-shirt, never want to go back.”

Andy could feel there was so much more to the story than just that summarized version. However, she got the impression he didn’t share with many people, so she didn’t push him.

His hand stilled on her skin. She dipped her arms to rinse and reached for the wash. After encouraging his leg up, he propped it on the front of the tub and she reached for it. Soaping his foot and calf with the same massaging technique he’d used on her.

“Ummm, no one’s ever done that for me before.” His words weren’t directed at her. “It’s nice.” They seemed more of a thought for himself. Not wanting to spur him to visit a place in his past which may be painful, but still wanting to know more about him, she took a chance.

“So, they let you keep the helmet when you got out.” It was a statement instead of a question, but he answered.

“Um hm. And the flight suit.” She turned her head because the tone in his voice piqued her curiosity. Her breath hitched in her throat. He was laid back with the ends of his hair in the water. Face a picture of complete relaxation and a wicked smile. He popped one sinfully dark eye open. “You know the zipper goes both ways? Quick access. I bet you’d be downright irresistible in one.” He pulled her back against him and washed her hair.

In hindsight, she wished she’d known the bliss they were sharing was about to end. Maybe she would’ve committed more to memory or at least dried her hair.

“Why did you drop off the face of the planet three years ago?” His query filled her stomach with butterflies.

“You noticed me back then?” Andy couldn’t believe he’d seen her around. Sure, she was at a lot of his fights, but she always hovered around the back. Hidden in the crowd. Even from a distance, this man elicited responses from her that were not her norm.

When she found a man attractive, she didn’t hesitate to approach him. If it was a bar, she’d buy him a drink, or attempt to, some guy’s masculinity was threatened by a woman taking the lead like that. She simply walked away from those types. Others, well, she was honest and upfront about what she expected and what she was offering in return.

But Killer, Nick, had an air about him that was just different. She was drawn to him from the first time she saw him.

Not love at first sight, but definitely lust and a longing to see beyond one night. So, the fact he’d noticed her too, well, maybe something beautiful could be between them for however long they both enjoyed it.

Nick’s fingers stilled in her hair. It was already rinsed, he’d been lazily massaging her scalp. Somehow, there in the tub, she felt more exposed, more vulnerable than she had when she was at his complete mercy.

That level of intimacy normally sent her for the hills. Grab the discarded clothes, leave a fake number, and basically change jobs and move to another state, kind of discomfort. But, she allowed herself to embrace it with Nick. She had a moment of panic realizing the power she was surrendering to him. The power to break her. But, he’d promised not to abuse it, so she allowed herself to indulge.

Andy was so lost in her head and the connection to a man, she forgot he’d asked a question until he turned her in the tub.

“Why did you ghost me?”

The edge to his voice and cold shadow in his eyes did not give her the warm and fuzzies. The butterflies had all fluttered away, her heart plummeted down to her stomach to take their place.

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