Page 30 of Trip

“Why would she miss Christmas morning breakfast? Is someone sick? Should we go help her? Take Christmas there?”

“No one’s sick, babe.” Trip covered the biscuits and put the lid on the gravy. “She’s letting the kids have Christmas morning with Jake before they head over. It was last minute and even though he doesn’t care about the kids, Meri would never be the one to keep them apart. The twins wanted to meet him. They’ll figure out what a deadbeat he is on their own and they’ll not blame Meri for keeping them apart. That’s her theory, anyway. Mine isn’t along those lines, but I’m just the uncle…”

Trip was talking, but she didn’t comprehend the words after Jake. She barely made it to the trash can before she threw up the one biscuit and bile that was in her stomach. She slid to the ground, screaming no.

“Shit, babe. Hold on, I got you.” Trip practically bowled into her sliding along the floor. He wrapped her in his arms. She kept chanting, safe in her head, over and over and over.

Trip shushed her each time she tried to speak. “Sweetheart, you have to calm down or you’re going to hyperventilate or some shit.”

She could hear the panic in Trip’s words. His concern brought her a touch of clarity. She had to find her voice. To protect them, she had to.

When she spoke, her speech was so wobbly she could barely understand the words leaving her mouth, but Trip did.

“I never cheated. Never. Jake raped me.” The night came flooding back in vivid color. She hadn’t had it replay with such clarity for a long time. “You have to get them away from him.” Panic set back in. “Trip. You have to. Please? He can’t be there.”

She was practically screaming. Trip was stiff and still as a statue, not even blinking. The only motion she could see were tears tracking silently down his cheeks.

“I’m sorry, Trip. I should’ve—”

“Don’t.” He said in a voice so calm it was frightening. “You have nothing to apologize for. You hear me? I’m the one who failed you. How can you look at me?”

Look at him? How could he look at her?

His kiss on her forehead was gentle and packed with emotion. “I’m sorry. I don’t think I can ever make it right. The things I said. Not trusting you enough to see what was so fucking obvious.” The last two words were cried. “But I will not fail again. I love you, JJ, and I hope you forgive me.”

Trip didn’t let her go. Instead, he scooted them both across the floor to get to his phone he dropped. She didn’t speak or protest. It was impossible. After speaking words she wasn’t prepared for, she was back to sobbing. Her voice lost again to the past.

“Granite? I was hoping you could call up the Iron Travelers and set up a last-minute meet and greet?”

There was a pause.

“Yeah, it’s a great time.”

Hearing one side of the conversation was enough. What she couldn’t make out through the phone’s speaker pressed against Trip’s ear, she could infer.

“I’d love for Chubs to personally meet Jake. He’s at Meri’s now.”

Maybe her brain was cloudy with panic, but it sounded like Trip was setting up a tea date.

“Yeah, I’d go myself, but I can’t ride just yet and I wouldn’t want to leave my girl right now either.”

It was weird how calm Trip sounded while JJ was a wreck, just thinking of Jake breathing the same air as Meri, Crissy, and James.

“Oh my God, Cris, it’s all my fault. If he hurts them…”

Trip was still on the phone, but rubbed her back to let her know he was there. “Yeah. Thanks, Prez.” He dropped the phone and maneuvered her around to straddle his lap, putting her face to face with him.

“Look at me, babe.”

When she didn’t obey, Trip gripped her face almost painfully.

“Jessika.”

As hard as it was to look at him, she raised her gaze to meet his. Love and anger and pain were a swirling cyclone in his stormy blue eyes.

“This… all of this. None of it, not one single fucking bit, is your fault. And you do not need to devote one more second to worrying about that sick fuck. He’s done.”

She ignored the last two words he spoke. She didn’t want to think about what it meant. “But, what if—”

“No. No more what-ifs.”

They were silent while he just held her tight on the kitchen floor.

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