Page 53 of Beckon

“I’m always right. And it never hurts to have insider information.”

Harold winked at her and she wondered what he knew that she didn’t.

17

CHANDLER

Amission.

A very important one.

Nerves clawed at his skin as he stared at the gray stone cross marking Reese Benjamin Spencer’s final resting place.

How does one talk to a dead man about his wife and son?

With a deep breath, Chandler just started speaking.

“I guess, first of all, I should apologize. For my unwarranted jealousy. Tamitha loves you, but not the way I twisted it into. I will forever be ashamed of that.”

Visions from that night swam in his head. One moment he’d been gripped by the memory of Wilson’s death, of the bloodcurdling scream of that little girl. The next he was picturing how desperately Wilson’s wife and son must miss him. Then suddenly, they morphed into Tami and Chester. Grieving for Reese while he stood helplessly and watched. Unable to offer either of them any comfort.

When Tami’s words penetrated that haze of a painful memory and twisted doubt, he’d felt they were for Reese and not him.

The look on her face as Chandler had accused her of such, would forever be etched in his memory. Burned into his very soul. The logical part of him knew how wrong he’d been. But the part that was in an agony of death and lies, wouldn’t listen.

Shaking off that memory, he continued.

“I also owe you immense gratitude. Thank you for Chester. He makes my world brighter just by existing. As much as I wanted to hate you when I first learned who you were, I couldn’t. Not when you created something so perfect. I also want to thank you for loving her. She’s told me a lot about the life you had together. You made her so happy, and I could never be mad about that.”

Chandler couldn’t have imagined how emotional he’d get talking to someone who wasn’t there. Someone he’d been jealous of.

Dr. Lee had a lot to do with why he was there. He’d been right. He needed to make peace with all his ghosts, and he hadn’t even realized that Reese was one. He had thought he was Tami’s, but he wasn’t.

When he looked at it from the angle Dr. Lee helped him see, he realized Tami had made peace with him a long time ago.

Chandler smiled despite himself. “Her and those seven things that saved her.”

It wasn’t as odd as it had once seemed.But then again, when you’re thinking about ending your life every night, all things seem a bit odd.

Chandler heard the hum of an engine a slight distance away. Turning, he saw Constance’s car pulling into a spot. Focusing his attention back on the marker, he spoke once more.

“I better wrap this up, your son and Constance are here to see you. I just wanted to say that if I make Tami half as happy as you made her, she’d think that was enough. But I’m aiming higher than that. Not to discount what you two shared, but I plan to double it every day for the rest of her life. That’s a promise.”

Chandler placed a hand reverently on the top of the cross. A chill ran down his spine as he imagined Reese smiling at him. Almost in approval.

It was everything Dr. Lee said it would be and more. It felt like a weight lifted from his heart and soul.

But what felt even better was Chester launching into him at top speed.

“Hey, little buddy.”

“Hey big buddy.” Chester gave him a squeeze, then waved at the same cross Chandler had just touched. “Hi, Dad.” Chester squirmed down and sat on the ground, pulling Chandler with him.

Chandler watched as he animatedly talked to Reese about school, about his Gumpy, and about having to wear a tie. Basically, he talked about everything that had happened in what seemed like the last year.

“Oh, and this jacket, it’s my buddy’s jacket. He’s here too, but I guess he already said hi.” Chester looked at him for confirmation. Chandler nodded.

“I think that’s everything. If not, I’ll tell you next time.” Chester stood. Chandler took that as his cue. He glanced back at Constance who was waiting. Giving them time.

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