Page 33 of Clear Your Mind

When I try to push myself up, I remember the fucker shot me. It’s just a graze, but my arm is stinging like a bitch.

Krystal cups my cheek and my stomach sinks. I recognize that look. A look of determination and apology. A look that screams,I’m doing this for you.

A look I’ve seen too many times from other people I care about.

A look that precedes complete and utter chaos.

“No, Krys. Don’t fucking do it.”

She smiles sadly before leaning her forehead to mine and whispering, “Trust me. We have an ally; he just doesn’t know it yet.”

“What the fuck? Krys—” I hiss.

The psychopath chuckles again, but I don’t spare him a glance. “How touching. This is going to be better than I expected. Right, Rip?” I cut my eyes Jeff’s way. What is he talking about? “With him watching her scream, um um um, it makes the pussy so much sweeter.”

But it’s not Jeff’s look of sick pleasure that captures my attention, but the look of horror on the other man’s face that does.

Krystal’s right, we may have an ally. However, I still won’t risk her getting too close. Jeff could hurt her before I can do a damn thing, ally or not. I will not live with that.

Ripper turns to Jeff and speaks in a hushed, angry tone. The words are too muffled to make out. I take the opportunity to speak to Krystal without Jeff hearing. “Agreed on the ally, but you’re not getting close to that fucker.” She nods as I reach for my gun once again, but the psychopath has an eagle eye and fires off another shot. This one barely misses my hip.

Krystal surges to her feet, and I hold her back with my good arm. I come to stand a bit slower than she does. When I try to put her behind me to block her with my body, she wrenches her wrist away and growls over her shoulder. “No.”

In that moment, I witness a change in her. One that’s brought on by years of living in fear. Her strength and anger roar to the surface. If not for the danger she is in, I would find her transformation sexy as fuck.

“I will not cower behind you while this pathetic excuse for a man who can’t take no for an answer gets his rocks off on my fear.”

Jeff adjusts himself, and I want to throw up. She’s right, he is getting off on this whole situation.

“I want my woman and my kid back where they belong and for her to know her place.” All his maniacal laughter from earlier is gone, replaced with a cold fury.

“You don’t have a kid, Jeff. I only told you that so you and your friends wouldn’t gang-rape me before beating me and leaving me for dead.” Krystal’s words wobble the same way they did the night she told me what happened.

Every cell in my body is screaming to pull her back, protect her with my body and my love, but I can’t. It’s the hardest fucking thing to accept, but she needs to exorcise this demon. If I do it for her, she’ll never forgive me. This I know with absolute certainty.

I do, however, step closer, pushing myself into her back, sharing my strength and letting her know I support her, even if it’s killing me. Her tears flow freely, and it breaks my heart.

“I’m sorry because it’s the worst lie I’ve ever told in my life. If I could take it back, I would.” Her voice is weak, but it doesn’t waver.

“Damn right you’re sorry, bitch,” Jeff answers with smug satisfaction. “That’s a start, and if you grovel enough, I’ll put a fucking baby in you as soon as I’m sure you’re not already knocked up by that piece of shit.”

The insult to me falls on deaf ears, I don’t give two shits what that fucker thinks, but the insult to Krystal burns in my gut. Has she not suffered enough at this man’s hands? I vow right then and there to protect her more than I have. I will end this fucker and then I’ll make her agree to never put herself between me and a gun. I will not be this understanding ever again.

Another borderline-crazed laugh pierces the atmosphere of the room. But it didn’t come from Jeff, it’s Krystal laughing like an inpatient of an insane asylum.

“Oh my god, Jeff, you are pathetic. My apology isn’t for you, it’s for the girl who took my place that night. The one whose pleading voice begging for mercy and screams of agony are embedded in my brain.” Krystal fists her hair as if she can rip out the scene she is describing.

The hollow laughter has long since left her voice as she recounts more details of that night. The oppressive pain returns.

“I remember the exact moment she broke. Her pleading stopped, just…stopped. Her wide, dead-inside eyes stared through me as her head jostled on the green felt. You surged into her from behind again and again and again. All while half of your biker buddies kicked and punched anywhere and everywhere they could, and the other half jerked off on her. When blood and semen ran down her temple, dripping into her open eye and she didn’t even flinch or blink it away, I knew the true price of my lie.”

Krystal leans over and retches before righting herself. Meanwhile, Jeff smirks and adjusts the front of his pants. The sick fucker is loving every minute of this and reliving it through Krystal’s vision is even better for someone like him.

The gun in the other man’s hand shakes as he stares at Jeff in what I hope is horror.

Krystal’s need to confront him gives him pleasure, and if I could help it, she would never fucking know that. She said her piece, so I’m done. This sick game of his is over.

I reach for my gun with my good arm while shoving her down and back with the other. The motion hurts, but not as much as hearing her pain does.

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