Page 36 of Clear Your Mind

I find myself staring at the body once again. Wondering if the devil greeted him personally when he arrived in hell. The loss of a life should weigh on my heart, but there’s nothing there but relief.

That’s a horrible thing to think, I silently scold. Then guilt assaults me for not feeling anything. “But hey, guilt’s a feeling, right?” I mumble to myself, but I see the blue eyes I find so endearing cut my way.

Buddy offers me a warm smile before his face goes hard and turns back to the man sitting on the floor.

My vision blurs as I stare at the white gauze around Buddy’s arm. As if it has answers. I’m trying hard to process everything Ripper is saying and all of the events of the day really, but I just can’t seem to wrap my brain around it all.

Buddy’s phone tones and cuts through the silence and my jumbled thoughts.

“Love, can you unlock the door for my friends?”

I nod enthusiastically. Anything is better than staring at Jeff’s body.

A task is exactly what I need. I skirt around Jeff and step through the dividing door. Once in the main shop, I’m surrounded by items of love and light. The smell of incense and herbs ground me. With a deep breath, I make my way to unlock the front door that Jeff must’ve locked.

Cowboy enters and catches me in an unexpected hug. I stand stiffly with my arms by my side. “You good, sis?” he asks almost cheerily. I nod, pushing off the hug and the use of sis to analyze later.

“Any reports?” Buddy’s deep voice floats through the shop.

“Nope,” the other man, who must be Kilt, answers as he skirts around me, following Buddy’s voice. “Police activity’s silent. This place is far enough out. Lucky for us, no one heard anything.”

Police, holy shit, why did I not think to call the police? Any normal human would have dialed 911 the second they could get to a phone. Apparently, I’m not normal because the idea never entered my mind.

Buddy killed for me, and apparently my heart controls my brain.

Unsuccessfully, I try to tune out the men talking as I relock the front door. I stare toward the back area for a bit before I close my eyes. If I were to shut the door that separates the front of the shop from the back area, I could almost pretend nothing happened there. Nothing is out of place here in the front.

Sighing, I scold, “That’s not how life works, Krystal.”

The proof of that statement is in the back of my shop in the form of three Iron Travelers, one Bullfeather, and a dead ex.

Metaphorically, I closed the door and pretended nothing happened for years with Jeff and look where that got me. Never again. I was thrust into reality when they raped that girl, and I’ll never again try to live in a dream.

With another steadying breath, I shuffle toward the back.

To the reality that I must face and to the man I can’t deny that I love already.

“Go on, tell me why your colors are on the floor,” Buddy commands Ripper as I watch from the doorway. Not wanting to take that next step into the room but also needing to be near Buddy, I stay rooted where I stand.

“The club was falling apart at the seams, but Badger sold me on the brotherhood anyway. No sooner was I in that he came to me with an investment opportunity for the good of the club. I was so enamored with the idea of what I thought the club was that I didn’t see the truth of it. I put my business in hock right down to my power tools and gave it to Badger to invest in a surefire thing.”

I watch the man sitting on the floor answering Buddy’s question while Cowboy covers Jeff. Briefly, I wonder where Kilt is when he appears from the back exit. They lift the tarp encompassing Jeff and go out the back. I can just see a van parked right at the door. I must’ve stood there longer than I thought if they had time to bring a van around back and start cleaning up the mess that was my ex.

“And what was that?” Buddy asks Ripper.

“A pool hall, but that failed just like every other investment over the last few years. When Caddy showed up, things went from bad to worse. Next thing I know, club has an apartment complex, but no rent coming in from it on the books.”

My heart stutters at his words and Buddy looks my way with sympathy. “My apartment complex?” I wonder barely above a whisper.

Of course, my complex. I can practically hear the pieces sliding into place. Bikers twenty-four seven. Poor Ms. Ida not even wanting to answer her door anymore. And so on and so on. My knees wobble as I walk into the room to stand next to Buddy. I crave the comfort I instinctively know he can offer me with a single touch.

Then it hits me. I just stuck my nose in club business by speaking. I stop before I reach him, looking his way with questioning eyes. This is a real test of what the Iron Travelers and Buddy are like.

Instead of anger or threats, I see something else in his eyes. Something that makes me feel safe. Taking a deep breath, I step up to his side and he leans his head ever so slightly against my hip.

Sitting there, Buddy looks intimidating, holding a gun poised on Ripper, but it doesn’t feel that way to me. The Iron Travelers really are different and so is Buddy. The love I feel for him multiplies.

That shoots a bolt of bravery through me. I transfer my attention to Ripper. He averts his eyes in an all too familiar way, and it hits me. “I’ve seen you around my place.”

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