Page 37 of Clear Your Mind

He doesn’t speak, just nods as he continues looking down. It’s only then that I take notice of his aura and his overall demeanor.

When the bikers are gathered around my complex, I try not to read them in any way. Instead, I always feel the overwhelming need to get away. Not spend any more time in their presence than necessary.

I can hear their catcalls and innuendos. It makes me feel slimy, but there was one, actually two, who never gave me that feeling. Never actively participated in the harassment disguised asjust having fun. Never parked in my spot. Ripper is one of those two.

“Thank you.”

All eyes in the room turn to me, including Ripper’s. He jerks his head up in shock.

“For what?”

“For not being like them. For even diverting their attention once or twice when they were relentless.”

Buddy whispers to me, “You’ll elaborate on that more later.” Louder and projected toward Ripper, he says, “You know my ol’ lady?” Buddy’s voice isn’t holding the same anger it had…wait, what did he just say?

A sound escapes my mouth before I can ask him what the fuck, but he wraps his bandaged arm around my thighs and gives a little squeeze.

“And you’ll elaborate on that more later,” I whisper his words back at him and watch the smile cross his oh-so-kissable lips before he smooths it out.

Did that really just happen?

I must be in shock because I’m not freaking out about it. Or anything else that happened today. Either that or I have a sick, twisted soul.

“I’ve seen her around. I didn’t know it was her Caddy was always talking about. He said his piece-of-shit ex fucked half his crew, and when he caught her, she took off with his kid to make him pay. Said she was an addict. When we showed up today, I thought I was helping save a kid. But when I saw you two, I got a sinking feeling in my gut that I’d been played once again.”

He looks downright disgusted with himself, and his aura pulses with what makes me think of self-loathing.

“I’m sorry, both of you. When he started talking, I knew it. Damn it, I knew it had all been a lie. Everything from the minute I joined that fucking cursed club.”

Now he is getting pissed.

“That why you shot him? You don’t like being lied to?” Buddy’s question shocks me. It’s obvious that’s not the case.

“Fuck no, man. You heard him…and her.” He sits silently for a moment. “That’s why I did it. He deserved worse. So does Badger.”

“Because he stole from you?” Buddy asked indignantly.

“No,” Ripper yells before dropping his voice. “Because I think he knew the truth.”

My legs, which had been threatening to collapse on me since this whole mess started, make good on their threat.

I feel Buddy’s arm around me give way, and I end up on my knees anyway. I lean my head on his thigh, and he strokes my hair. Much like I did for him. I know it can’t feel good for his arm, but he does it anyway.

Trying my damnedest to focus on the comforting motion of Buddy’s hand and not on whatI think he knew the truthmeant.

I want to vomit. Jeff knew where I was. He could’ve gotten to me at any time. Badger had keys to the whole building. My head starts to swim with all the little things that didn’t add up over the last few months.

Stuff that seemed to be moved, underwear missing, and so on. Jeff’s been in my apartment; of that, I have zero doubt.

It makes me absolutely ill.

Buddy clears his throat. “Why do you say that?”

“A lot of reasons, but as we headed out here, Badger told Caddy, ‘bring your woman back and we’ll get her in line.’ Caddy said something about trying, but she’s a stubborn one. The look on Badger’s face when he smiled at Caddy was evil when he said, ‘bring her to me.’”

The shudder that courses through my body is borderline violent.

“And you still came here for her, knowing all that?” Buddy stood, dislodging my head. Stepping closer to Ripper with the gun trained back on him with a vengeance. “You came here to take my ol’ lady back to your club to bring in line?”

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