Page 34 of Playing to Win

“Reggie works for me, not my father, so no.” Andrew took the glass of wine Colin offered. “He’s the one who left the drinks. He inspected the room before we arrived, too.”

“Wow.” Colin propped a pillow against the mahogany headboard, then sat against it, tugging the sheet up to his waist seemingly as an afterthought. “Didn’t realize you were so important.”

“I’m not important, just…”Endangered.“I’ve got my share of haters. Reggie’s taught me how to protect myself, especially online. He got me to quit Snapchat, which is just dreadful for privacy. Same with Facebook, which I don’t miss at all. It’s too reciprocal.”

“Too interactive, you mean? You’d rather just put your thoughts out there on Twitter to be worshiped by the masses?”

“I reply to loads of tweets.” Andrew stretched out on his side, relishing the return to their playful banter. “It’s time-consuming, but it’s my job.”

“Your job as what?”

“Being Lord Andrew.”

Colin laughed out loud. “Do you hear yourself?”

“Never, if I can help it.” Andrew sipped his wine and smiled up at Colin to show he was well aware of his own pretension.

“So how many Twitter mentions do you—sorry, how many Twitter mentions doesLord Andrewget in a day?”

“Depends on my activity. On a slow day, perhaps two hundred.”

Colin gaped at him. “Pish.”

“It’s true. I’ll prove it.” He rolled over to grab his phone from the bedside table, then opened his Twitter app. “If you reply to any of them on my behalf, I’ll have you drawn and quartered.”

“Aye, right.” Colin took the phone and started scrolling. “Och, people pure love you.”

“They don’t love me, they love Lord An—”

“This American lass wants to marry you. Then her mate, who’s a guy, is like, ‘You’re barking up the wrong tree.’ There’s quite the rammy over which of them you belong to.” He laughed as he scrolled further, but then his smile vanished. “Fuck’s sake, what’s this?”

Here we go.“Give it to me.”

“No.” He shifted out of Andrew’s reach. “This bawbag says—oh my God, he says you should have your cock dipped in acid until it falls off in pieces. Which should then be fed to you.”

Andrew closed his eyes, wishing his feelings could be as vigilantly guarded as his life. “I need to screen-grab it and send to Reggie, in case this bastard’s not just talking.” He reached for the phone.

“I’ll do it, so you don’t have to see this.” Colin pressed the buttons to take a shot of the screen. “I’ll block the fucking bully while I’m at it.”

“It’s more harassment than bullying.” Andrew switched his wine glass to his left hand, then tugged the sheet up past his waist. He hated the thought of being anyone’s victim. “It’s only bullying if it affects me, and I don’t let it.”

“You’ve got your own security detail. Sounds like an effect to me.”

“There’s a difference between prudence and paranoia.”

“What is this shite?” Colin’s hands were trembling now. “Why are all these people—” He tapped the screen. “Oh.” He lowered the phone and looked at Andrew. “You called independence supporters a bunch of whingeing weans?”

“Not all of you. I was specifically referring to the people at the Yes rally in Fife.”

“It was a prick tweet. But you don’t deserve this.” Colin turned back to the phone. “Can’t believe all these people with Yes badges on their profile pics, calling you a ‘faggot’ and a ‘bufty.’ I’d no idea there was such homophobia in the movement.”

“It’s not homophobia. The cybernats hate me for supporting the Union, not for fancying men. My gayness is just a cudgel to beat me with. If I were fat or short or ugly, they’d use that.” Andrew snatched back his phone, which he plugged into its charger on his bedside table. He was irritated to be discussing the referendum in bed, but needed to make one last important point. “This is the face of the Yes movement I see every day.”

“It’s not the one I see. The people I know fighting for independence are kind and caring and clever and funny. They’re cool.”

“Yes, you’re the cool kids.” Andrew brandished his wine glass. “Whilst the rest of us, who value stability and certainty, we’re painted as evil or stupid or both.”

Colin’s eyes narrowed. “Stability? Certainty? What country do you live in? Whatuniversedo you live in?”

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