Page 97 of A Duet of Darkness and Dreams

“Are you seriously telling me your plan is to hook up with groupies on the tour bus right in front of the girl you just fucked?”

My mouth opens and closes like a door hinge for a moment. “I mean—”

“Sure, that’ll go great for the magazine feature,” Joel says.

I shake my head. “It was just one night. We agreed we’d still be friends. That it wouldn’t interfere with her job or mine.”

“That doesn’t mean she wants to watch you hooking up with girls right in front of her.”

I slump back in my chair. “No. You’re right. I—I promised her I wouldn’t flaunt it.”

“Do you even want to?”

“Want to what?”

“Hook up with other girls?”

If I’m being honest with myself, I haven’t given it any thought. My head has been filled with nothing but visions of Isabella in my bed since Christmas. Before Christmas, even. It wasn’t until I walked in on Key and Joel right now that I thought about the potential of anyone else at all.

“Yeah. I mean—of course. Of course I do.”

“It would be fine if you didn’t,” Key adds gently. “We wouldn’t even make fun of you for it.”

I roll my eyes. “Okay, fuck off. Look, we’ll just make a rule for all of us, no sex on the tour bus.”

“Wait,” Joel says, holding up his hands. “Why arewegetting punished?”

“You want to screw a bunch of chicks to the soundtrack of Isabella’s typewriter?”

“Wouldn’t bother me.”

I roll my eyes. “How about I just don’t want to see your naked asses and she won’t either.”

There’s a long pause.

“Fine,” Key finally says. “No one hooks up on the tour bus. Okay?”

“Good.”

“Here’s your wristbands,” Joel says with a scowl. “You’re fucking welcome.”

I can’t sleep.

I like to think it’s nerves about heading out on tour tomorrow—and it is that—but it’s also what Joel and Key said about hooking up with girls while away.Do you even want to?Do I? The idea of being in bed with anyone but Izzy doesn’t excite me the way it used to. In fact, it hasn’t for months. What is wrong with me? I haven’t wanted just one woman in years. I’m not like James.

It’s okay to like a woman for more than one night.

How is it that the youngest member of the group is the wisest? I’ll admit, I thought he was an idiot, falling in love with a girl when his music career was just about to take off. Sure that he would regret it and miss out on so much. But, miss out on what exactly? He found the girl of his dreams on the first try. If sex is the only encouraging factor, then he’s already got that taken care of. It’s not like the wall between their bedroom and mine is soundproof, and from what I’ve heard, they can’t seem to get enough of each other.

Okay, so it’s not crazy to only want one woman as long as she ticks off all the boxes for what a man wants. Does Isabella tick off all of my boxes? First of all, she’s gorgeous. Not only does she have a smokin’ body but her face is so goddamn beautiful with those chocolate brown eyes and long lashes . . . those naturally dark lips. Fine . . . check.

Then there’s the sex. I can’t lie. The sex we had on Christmas was, without a doubt, the best I’ve ever had. Her body, her breathin my ear, the way she felt wrapped around me in every way. Check, check, check.

But then there’s also who she is. Her personality. Becks and James are exact opposites but somehow, they make each other better. Would Izzy and I be the same? We don’t exactly like a lot of the same things, but I can talk to her. Something about the way she asks questions or . . . listens . . . it makes me open up in a way I haven’t since—

I shake my head. It always comes back to her. To Emily. Sometimes it baffles me how one person can do so much damage, how awful things ended up. And I know deep down that Isabella is not Emily. In fact, two women couldn’t be more different, but I never thought Emily could do the things she did, and loving her blinded me to so much. Caused me to make so many mistakes. Caused me to feel ashamed of the things I want most in the world and almost caused me to lose out on it all. Emily was sweet once, too.

So getting close to Isabella? Not a good idea.

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