Page 98 of A Duet of Darkness and Dreams

What if she changes like Emily did? What if something happens and all of this is jeopardized because my heart got in the way?

I need to break out of this obsession I have. For all of Joel and Key’s idiocy, the wristbands are kind of a genius move. If a girl ends up backstage, at least she knows why she’s there and I’ll know what she expects. Maybe that’s all I need to do. Just rip the Band-Aid off and sleep with the first girl wearing a wristband. I just need to get back into my regular routine. Of course, it won’t be easy. I can’t do it in front of Isabella, but I have just over two months on tour before she joins us. Plenty of time to shake her out of my system. Especially since she so easily shook me from hers.

After Christmas she seemed more at ease with our deal than I was. In fact, it was shocking. What if she meets someone else? What ifshehooks up with another musician on this tour? Mystomach twists hard and my fists clench. The thought of Isabella with another man is . . . abhorrent. Nauseating. Rage-inducing.

But what can I say? Nothing, that’s what. This is what we agreed on. Besides, there is so much I need to do to prove to myself that I’ve made it. I pull the little keychain from my pocket. The sun and cloud are starting to show signs of wear. Probably because I’m constantly rubbing it between my fingers.

Dreams are forged out of darkness. Ain’t that the truth. My dream to be a drummer came out of the depression after my mom left. Then it was fueled even more after the darkness that consumed me after Emily. Thinking of my list—the one I carelessly left on a table in Vegas—there are so many things I want to do in this life. And while Isabella would be an indulgent temptation, she’s not the one who’s going to make my dreams come true.

I am.

CHAPTER 31

Dress You Up

ISABELLA

Taking a deep breath, I open the door of the bus terminal, bracing myself against the frigid mid-February winds. With my suitcase in tow, I head for the huge red and silver bus parked at the curb in front of me.

“It’s fine. This will be fine,” I mutter as I walk toward the towering bus with the Carnal Sins logo along the side. I can’t decide why I’m so nervous at this moment. Whether it’s that the bus is intimidating, or maybe it’s because I don’t know what to expect once I’m on board but I wonder if the guys will treat me differently? Will Dave? It’s been over two months since I’ve seen or spoken to any of them.

The door opens and the guys spill out onto the sidewalk with the biggest smiles on their faces. James, Joel, and Key each pick me up in a giant hug, then Dave is there. For a brief moment, I wonder if he won’t hug me, but his face relaxes and he scoops me up in his arms and spins me around. The warmth of his chest, the smell of him, it all hits me like a dopamine rush and I feel the tension ease off of my shoulders. When he sets me back on my feet, I smile.

“Hey,” Dave says, stepping back.

Those eyes. Two storms brewing over the ocean. “Hi.”

He grins wide, showing all of his brilliant teeth at once.

“Come on,” James says, grabbing me by the elbow and turning me toward the stairs. “I’ll give you the tour.”

“Wait, my bag—”

“I got it,” Dave says from behind me, and I glimpse him carrying my bag like it weighs nothing, even though I nearly dislocated my shoulder getting it down the terminal stairs. James pulls me up into the bus, and I’m greeted by an older man.

“This is Barney,” he says, pointing to a portly driver sitting behind the wheel.

Barney tips his head as I pass, and I offer him a smile. We then pass through a heavy velvet curtain, and my eyes all but bug out. Red velvet upholstery and wood paneling as far as the eye can see. There’s a small table with bench seats on either side as well as a tiny kitchen.

“This is the main living area,” James says, gesturing around. “It’s not huge, but we’re not really in here all that much anyway.”

I nod and follow along behind him, sensing Dave’s silent presence behind me as I go.

“Bathroom is through here,” he says, gesturing to a narrow door to my right. “If I were you, I’d try to schedule showers for when we’re staying in motels. The shower in there gives you maybe thirty seconds worth of hot water before you’re freezing to death.”

“Right.” I glance into the surprisingly clean bathroom. In fact, the whole place is clean. “It hardly looks like you’ve been living in here for a few days, let alone nine weeks.”

James glances past my shoulder for a moment, then turns and continues down the hall. “Then here we have the bunks. There are only four. One for each of us, but the dining table folds down into a double. Are you cool with that?”

I take inventory of the narrow bunks on either side of the bus,then back at the dining table. “Yeah, that’s fine with me. I knew it wasn’t going to be glamorous.”

James smiles. “Again, we only sleep here when Barney’s driving, so it’s not all the time. We all long for the nights we get to sleep in a motel.”

“I’ll bet.”

“There’s a small cupboard here where you can put your clothes and stuff,” James says, pointing toward my suitcase.

“They told me to pack light.”

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