Page 132 of A Ballad of Betrayal and Beauty

“If you haven’t noticed,” she huffs, “we have a bigger problem right now.”

“Joel is going to be fine,” Dave says. “Key said he’s stable, he just needs time to recover.”

“That could take months! Plus, it’s only been a few hours. What if something happens and he gets worse?”

Enough.

I turn the corner into the waiting room where I see a tall blond man, his hair pulled back in a ponytail, and a pretty dark-haired girl with bangles on her wrists. Key sits on the plastic bench attached to the wall behind them. They all notice me at once, and there’s an overwhelming sensation of shame that descends on me. This Dave and Izzy—what they must think about me? What will they think of me when I have to break someone’s heart?

Key is on his feet then and rushing over to me, scooping me up in a tight hug, and I want to just float away in it. To sink into his arms and finally fall asleep. Instead, I push away and he sets me down on my feet.

“Hey—Joel . . . has he woken up?” Key asks.

That voice. It’s so obvious now, and for a brief, sleep-deprived moment, I imagine us having this conversation through the phone back in my cubicle at work.

“No,” I whisper. “No, he hasn’t.” I swallow hard as three pairs of eyes wait for me to deliver the news. “I just came out here to check and see if you’re okay.”

It feels like I should be crying, but there are no more tears. I’ve run out, or perhaps I’m just too dehydrated. When was the last time I ate or drank anything? My knees falter beneath me but Key is there. He’s always been there. Why did I ever get so mad at him for it?

“I . . . I have them.”

Key shakes his head. “You . . . have what?”

“The songs you wrote. I have them.”

He extends his arms to get a better look at me. “You do?”

“Of course I do.” I sigh. “How could I not?”

He stares at me, and I don’t understand the expression. I thought maybe he’d look relieved. Or happy? Instead, he seems confused. I turn to his blond friend.

“I’ll go get them,” I whisper. “Your band’s name with be cleared by this time tomorrow.”

His mouth drops open. “No!” he nearly shouts. “No, I didn’t—that’s not what I meant.”

“Dave, you complete asshole.” Izzy shakes her head and smacks him on the chest.

“No, he’s not,” I say. “This is important. It’s important to Joel. And rather than have me stand around uselessly at the hospital waiting for . . .” I pause, reminding myself that Joel might not want to see me when he wakes up. Maybe it’s better if I’m not here. That way I can’t do any more damage. “Please, let me help.”

Izzy steps forward and grasps my hand. “Come for a walk with me.”

I blink at her, taken aback. I don’t even know her. Why does she want to take a walk with me?

“Come on, let’s go outside. I think you need some fresh air.”

Her eyes widen imperceptibly and I understand what she’s really trying to say. That she wants to talk to me out of earshot of the others. About what, I don’t know, but I nod. “Yes, actually—that’s a good idea.”

“Perfect,” she says with a smile, then links her arm with mine. “Boys, we’ll be right back.”

Izzy escorts me through the maze of hallways toward the emergency bay doors until we step out into the cloudy afternoon air. It hits my face, and I’m instantly relieved. I close my eyes and breathe. The peppermint oil the nurse gave me was helping but this is so much better.

“Thank you,” I say as her arm drops and she turns to face me.

“No problem. Smoke?” She holds up a pack of cigarettes.

I laugh, relieved. “Actually, yes. Thank you, again.”

“I’m Isabella,” she says, lighting her smoke and taking a long puff. “Or Izzy, as everyone calls me. I realize we weren’t properly introduced.”

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