Page 22 of A Ballad of Betrayal and Beauty

“Well, on that note,” James says, “Becks and I are heading home. We’ll see you guys tomorrow.”

We all exchange some goodbyes, and the couples head home.

Key shakes his head. “Thank god that isn’t us,” he mumbles.

I turn to him. “What do you mean?”

“Dave and Izzy. James and Becks. They’re all about their couple shit.” He looks up at me and smiles. “Good for them, but I’m glad it’s us. You and me. Girls only when we want them, you know?”

My stomach sinks. The only girl I want right now is Cherry. I’ve wanted her for two years, and if I ever manage to convince her to give me a chance . . . I don’t think a single night would be enough, which means we’d be dating. The prospect is terrifying, but this thing Key and I have going on can’t last forever. Key must know that too, right? “I don’t know. You don’t think it would be nice to love someone that much?”

He scoffs. “Love? Love is a delusion. A chemical reaction in the brain that eventually wears off. It’s not the fairytale romantic notion everyone says it is.”

My eyes widen. “Jesus. Who the fuck broke your heart?”

“No one,” he says a bit too quickly. “But that doesn’t mean I’m wrong.”

I lean forward. “Come on, you don’t think what those four have is love?”

Key grabs the last wing from the basket and tears off a strip with his teeth. “What they have is a mutually beneficial relationship labeled by society as love. They get companionship and sex, so they fulfill their hormonal and emotional needs. But if either of those weren’t being met? You can bet the ‘love’ would die out pretty fast.”

My jaw is almost on the table. I stare at my best friend of almost eight years while he finishes his chicken. Finally, he looks up at me.

“What?”

I pull at my napkin and shrug. “Nothing man, just—I guess I never realized you felt that way about relationships.”

He stalls. “Joel?”

I look up and he gives me an expression I don’t see often. Softness.

“If love really is real, I think how I feel about you is the closest I’ve ever gotten.”

My chest tightens and it makes me swallow down the urge to tell him that I like a girl. That I plan to visit that laundromat every day until I see her again. “Thanks.” I clear my throat, unsure what else to say, and reply, “Ditto.”

I mean it. I really do. I love him. He’s my best friend. My brother. My bandmate. But that doesn’t mean I don’t want a woman in my life. He’s my favorite person in the world, but what if I want a relationship? A girlfriend? A wife and a family? Will Key be left on his own, resentful of me?

“So,” Key says, wiping his face and sipping his beer. “What were you so smiley about earlier?”

Shit.“Oh, uh . . . I forgot to tell you something that happened at the laundromat.”

“Oh?”

I swallow, then grin. “Some idiot walked right into an open dryer door. Knocked him right down on his ass.”

“No shit?”

“Poor guy probably concussed himself. It was hilarious. I can’t stop thinking about it.”

Chuckling, he nods. “Yeah, I’d probably be laughing about that for days too.” He drains the last of his beer, setting it down on the table between us. “And sorry, by the way.”

“For what?”

“For being weird lately. I’ve been a moody bastard and I know that’s tough to live with.”

“Yeah, it is,” I say dramatically. “Keep it up and I’ll have to divorce you.”

CHAPTER6

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