Page 74 of A Ballad of Betrayal and Beauty

I blink and think of Joel. Did I doom our relationship before it’s even begun? Will it all end in sorrow?

“I worry the same thing for myself,” I whisper. “People like me—we don’t get happy endings. I’m not even sure they really exist.”

“They do,” he says suddenly. “My friends . . . they have it. The happily ever after. I watch them sometimes and think how lucky they are to have found each other. I tell myself it isn’t real but it is—I’m just jealous of what they have. They’re soulmates. Meanwhile, I just sabotage everything that comes my way because I can’t get over my own heartbreak.”

Tears begin to sting my eyes. His words hit really close to home. “That sounds really lonely.”

He sniffs, and I close my eyes as the first tear falls. “Not always. I have my best friend.”

“That’s good that you have each other.”

“I think he’s lonely too though, and while we have each other, we can’t be everything for the other. There’ll always be something missing.”

“Is that what you’re mad about?” I ask. “Do you think he’s found someone?”

He takes a long deep breath. “I don’t know. It could be nothing. I thought that maybe he seems a little different lately . . . but maybe it’s all in my head.”

I wrap the phone cord around my finger. “You couldaskhim.”

Another long pause.

“I know that guys aren’t alwayssupercomfortable sharing, but?—”

A laugh.

“I—I’m sorry, did I say something funny?”

“Oh! No . . . no just—never mind.”

Another phone girl walks past my cubicle on her way to the breakroom and I pull myself closer to my desk. “So, what are you going to do?”

He sighs. “I think I need to take a trip.”

“Like a holiday?”

He clicks his tongue. “No. More like I need to go home.”

I frown. From what he’s told me about his parents, I have a feeling home isn’t a great place. “Are you sure that’s a good idea?”

“Probably not, but there’s some things and possibly . . . someoneI need to find, so I should start there.”

I nod. “I hope you find them.”

“Me too.” He yawns. “I think I’m going to try sleeping now, sweetheart. Do you . . . do you think you could do me a favor?”

“I’ll try.”

“Could you stay on the line with me until I fall asleep?”

I glance around. What will my boss think if she walks by and I’m not even speaking? She’ll think I’m wasting company time is what.

“Please?” he begs, and the sound steals my breath away. My heart aches, and a prickling heat rushes into my face.

“Of course I will. I’ll even be decent and hang up so we don’t charge you for hours and hours.”

He chuckles. “It would be worth it.”

My cheek turns up at the side. “I hope you have a good sleep.”

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