Page 86 of A Ballad of Betrayal and Beauty

I shake my head. “I thought I had someone once . . . but I was wrong.”

“Dusty,” he says softly, “it might not be love yet, but you mean a lot to me. More than any woman ever has before.”

“Just promise me that you won’t disappear if you decide you can’t love me. Just tell me the truth.”

“I would never do that to you. I promise.”

He kisses me, pushing himself up over me, and his touch starts to chase away at all the fear. My body burns for him and as he kisses down my throat, I can’t stop myself from tearing at his jacket. Long, dark hair hangs around my face like a curtain, the smell of him racing my hormones into overdrive.

He shrugs out of his jacket and I scramble to lift his shirt, but his hands wrap around my wrists.

“We don’t have to rush,” he says.

“Maybe I want to rush,” I whine.

He chuckles, and my core throbs as his teeth pull on my earlobe. “I’ve waited two years to touch you the way I want,” he whispers. “I’ll be damned if I blow this.”

Slow hands skim up my sides, his touch feather-light and scorching. My brain is fuzzy, drunk on the anticipation. Every inch of my skin is extra sensitive, and my nipples harden to the point of pain.

He pushes my shirt up to just below my breasts and kisses from my sternum to my waist. “Joel—” I pant as his hair tickles my exposed skin.

“How do you like to be touched?” he asks before his tongue circles my belly button.

My pussy throbs, and I’m suddenly speechless. I’m not sure how to answer. “All I know is I want more of this.”

“Do you have condoms?”

My eyes fly open.Shit.“You don’t?”

There’s a small drop in his face, then he shakes his head. “I didn’t think . . .”

I close my eyes and sigh, my head falling back on the bed, defeated. Figures. This would be just my luck. Here’s my chance, and now it can’t happen because of something I should’ve prepared for. But I’m not a stupid girl anymore, I’m not willing to chance unprotected sex, even if I am crazy about him.

He kisses along my jaw again and it feels so good it’s almost cruel. “Joel, we can’t.”

“You’re right,” he says, his lips everywhere. “We can’t have sex . . . but that doesn’t mean I can’t make you come.”

And then he’s descending upon my mouth with ravenous hunger. His tongue explores mine as I pull his shirt higher and higher until he breaks away, ripping it off and sending it to the floor with his jacket. He leans toward me, but I push him back. I want to stare at his body.Needto. His torso is covered in tattoos. Every kind of devilish ghoul and monstrous demon inked into his beautiful tanned skin. How paradoxical, that this sweet and gentle man is covered in such nightmares. But then I guess we all are—mine are just invisible.

“You’re so beautiful,” I say as my fingers trail down the image of a cobra on his ribs.

A wide grin spreads across his face, and the next thing I know he’s rolling us over so I’m on top of him, my legs straddling his waist and my hair falling haphazardly around us.

“Your turn,” he says with the rise of an eyebrow. He pulls my shirt up and up, and I bite my lip as the fabric is tossed somewhere across my small apartment. My breasts are heavy and sensitive as his thumbs brush along the underside of my lacy bra cups.

“They’re even better than I remember,” he admits, his eyes wide and glued to my chest.

I reach around and unhook my bra with a snap, letting the straps fall as my breasts are slowly revealed. He groans, his eyes squinting shut before he wraps his arms around me and smothers his face in my chest.

A memory of the first time we met comes back to me. How he buried his face then, how it seemed to bring him some kind of peace. I gently trace his shoulder blades, feeling it now like I did then—the tension easing off of him.

“Feel better?” I ask.

He nods against me. “Much. Fuck, you’re so perfect.” He looks up and grasps my face, pulling me into another earth-shattering kiss. As my hips settle, I can feel him. Unmistakable hardness that has my stomach clenching and my pulse throbbing between my legs.

I might not be able to have it all today . . . but maybe I could have a taste.

He releases my face to take a breath, and I push him back against the bed, taking my time to kiss along his jaw. He reaches for me, but I push his hands down into the sheets, the rumble of his groan vibrating through me as I suck on his neck.

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