Page 88 of A Ballad of Betrayal and Beauty

I close my eyes and nod. “Yes, I—yeah . . .”

He chuckles deeply, then the bed shifts as he stands. “Be right back,” he says.

I place my hand over my racing heart and can’t help but giggle. Holy shit, that was insane. I haven’t come like that . . . maybe ever. After a few minutes, Joel reappears and sits down on the edge of my bed, gently wiping up my thighs with a warm washcloth. He’s pulled his hair up in a knot on top of his head. When he’s done, he discards the cloth and lies down naked in the bed next to me.

“I didn’t push you too far, did I?” he asks, pulling my head to rest on his arm while he plays with my hair.

I shake my head. “No, that was incredible. If the foreplay is that good, then the sex might kill me.”

His laugh is breathless. “I don’t know if you’re ready for the full extent of what I can do to you.”

I turn onto my stomach and smirk. “That sounds like a challenge.”

“Not really, it’s just that some find my preferences a little outside of their wheelhouse.”

“Oh?” My heart starts to race. “You’re not about to tell me you’re into feet or pee, are you?”

He chuckles. “Oh no, although you do have gorgeous feet and if you asked me to, I’d happily suck on them.”

I shiver as his hand trails down over my hip, then over my ass to grip under my thigh as he pulls it over himself.

“I just prefer having anal sex.”

I blink, my lips parting, and my stomach clenches as I remember him pressing his thumb inside me. “Oh.”

He continues to gently rub circles on my butt cheek. “Don’t get me wrong, I like having sex the normal way too. I don’t know, there’s just something about it. Making you come earlier with my finger in your ass—it’s just so fucking hot. I came with you barely even touching me.”

“I’ve never experimented back there before,” I admit, “but considering I came all over your face, you may have convinced me to consider it.”

He laughs. “I know mostly people are afraid of it because they think it’ll hurt, but I promise that if you’re willing to try, I’ll go slow and make it feel incredible.”

My eyes search his face, something in me knowing that he’s being totally serious. I trust that he’d make it worth my time.

“But if you don’t want to. I’m okay with that too.”

I take a deep breath and offer my coyest smile. “I’ll think about it.”

He raises his eyebrows. “Really? You will?”

“Yeah. But you best believe I’ll expect the biggest morning-after breakfast as a thank-you.”

His laugh echoes through my apartment and fills me with joy. “You got it.” He squeezes me to him and kisses my forehead, pulling the sheets up overtop of us. And there, wrapped in his arms, I feel like someone who’s unafraid to be myself.

CHAPTER22

(It Looks Like) I’ll Never Fall in Love Again

KEY

Eight Years Ago

“Hey, Dusty, so I was thinking that maybe I—Dusty?”

When I enter our cabin in the woods it takes me less than ten seconds to realize something’s wrong. Dusty sits on the couch staring straight ahead. In the years I’ve known her, I would think she’s maybe watching a movie, but the TV is only static and her face isn’t alight like it is when she’s watching something special.

“Hey,” I say again, dropping my bag on the floor and stepping toward her. “Are you okay?”

As I get closer, I can see the tear tracks that stain her face.

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