When I got home from dinner with my family, Haven and Colt were already in bed. Catching up with Aurora and Mom was nice—it always is. But coming home to what was essentially an empty house only added to the loneliness that’s clung to me since Xander left.
He yawns. “How was—”
“Sleep, Xan. You’ve had a long drive.”
“Hmph.”
“We’ll talk in the morning.”
“We’d better.” He pokes my stomach. “And don’t do that bullshit where you get up and leave without waking me up. I fucking hate that.”
I smile. It’s exactly what I’ll do, and he can get over it. I’ve missed the hell out of him, but it’s almost three. We can wait a few more hours before we catch up so he can sleep.
“Promise me,” Xander says stubbornly.
“You’re cute when you’re grumpy.”
“Lucas Wilson, you promise me right now, or—”
I roll over and kiss him. He lets out an annoyed growl but still kisses me back.
“Goodnight, Xander.”
He grumbles something under his breath but doesn’t push. I may submit to him in bed, but outside? He knows I can be just as stubborn as he is. And despite his complaints, I know he appreciates it when I look out for him. It’s what we do—what we’llalwaysdo.
Haven
IleanintoColton’shand as he gently threads his fingers through my hair. Our bodies are still tangled together, and I realize I’ve basically wrapped myself around him. Surprisingly, he doesn’t seem to mind.
Something about him and me has changed, and what he whispered to me last night only confirms it.
I don’t know what to do with you. You’re making me feel things, angel. Things I promised myself I’d never feel again.
My assumption is that he thought I was asleep when he said that. I was halfway there, but his words made my stomach flutter, and it kept me awake for another couple of minutes.
Starting to feel things for Colton again was something I didn’t think would ever happen. But after our encounter with Isaiah, something shifted. I felt like I was eighteen again. Like I could rely on him no matter what. Like I could rely onallof them.
Still, it’s hopelessly naive of me to want something with them. Keeping me safe from Isaiah doesn’t erase all they’ve done. It also doesn’t mean they’re doing anything other than holding up their end of our deal.
But…
With a sleepy sigh, I nestle closer to Colton. I can pretend, if only for this morning. Pretend that I didn’t grow up in a cult. That I don’t have so much fear and guilt around sex. That I never betrayed the boys.
I feel Colton lean in like he’s going to kiss me on the forehead, but he stops himself. For a second, he doesn’t move, and then he lets out a quiet, “Goddammit.”
In the next second, he’s gone, and I blink my eyes open. He’s already crossed the room, and he yanks open his dresser drawer and pulls out a T-shirt. Three seconds ago, he was fully relaxed in bed, and now he looks so tense that my first instinct is to hide under the bed.
But this is Colton. He promised not to hurt me—physically, at least. Flogging me in the basement was the only time he went back on his word, and I know how much he regrets it.
Groggily, I push myself up into a sitting position. I wince at the cramps in my abdomen, barely able to breathe through them. They fade after a minute, and when I’m able to focus, I find Colton stepping out of the bathroom.
With the sheets wrapped around my shoulders, I watch him silently. It’s cold in bed without him, and I wish I could ask him to come back, but I don’t think he’d like that.
“Is everything okay?” I ask.
“Fine.”
“Are you sure?”