Page 141 of Redeemed

Lucas takes the phone from me and says a quick goodbye to Aurora. “You good to take it, then?”

Nodding, I grab the water from him and accept the pill when he fishes it out of his pocket. Not letting myself think too much, I down them both in one go. I just need to not feel like this anymore.

“Good.” Lucas eases the empty glass from my hands. “Now, what are you doing?”

“What’s fair,” Xander answers for me, his voice hard.

The two of them exchange a glance, seemingly communicating silently, before Lucas nods.

Colton has been watching without a word, and I’ve felt his burning gaze the whole time. Now I turn to him, my grip on the flogger tightening. There’s a part of me that’s terrified to do this to him—terrified he’ll retaliate. But when he agreed to this, retaliation wasn’t on the table.

Xander made sure of it.

“You’ll want to be behind him,” Xander says, taking my free hand and guiding me around. “Stay away from his lower back—kidneys and all—and anything above the shoulders.”

Oh.It hadn’t occurred to me that there were places you had to be careful of.

“Really, I’d recommend sticking to his ass and his thighs until you get the hang of it,” Xander tells me.

I swallow, staring at the skull tattoo that expands over the entirety of Colton’s back. Those are the places he hit me. He promised to break me, but even while he was, he was looking out for my wellbeing.

If only he could treat my mind the same way.

Lucas is still standing in front of Colton, and his mouth twitches upward. “This is gonna be good. You sure you don’t want to gag him, little fawn?”

“I—I hadn’t thought of that.”

“You’re not fucking gagging me,” Colton spits out.

“Could be fun,” Lucas muses.

“Up to you,” Xander tells me.

I shake my head. Flogging Colton is one thing, but forcing him to do something he didn’t agree to would put me on the same level as him.

“Your loss.” Xander steps back. “Go ahead, doll.”

I really don’t get why he calls me that, but I’m too much of a wreck to care right now. I’m just as freaked out as I was when Xander and Colton burst in on me trying to open that knife. But Colton is right. I don’t want to die.

Colton tosses me a look over his shoulder. “Come on, angel. Do it. Hit me.”

My breath catches in my throat, but I find myself obeying, wincing as the leather strands hit his briefs. I have to remind myself that I’m not the one tied down right now. That in some fucked-up, twisted way, I’m safe.

“That all you got?” Colton taunts. “Come on. I know how angry you are.”

With a cry, I lash out, hitting him twice as hard this time.

“That’s more like it,” he says through gritted teeth. “Again.”

I strike him three more times in rapid succession. “I hate you.” Four more times. “Ihateyou.”

“Hey, hey.” Xander’s arm bands around me from behind as my knees buckle. “You’re okay.”

A sob wracks my body. My throat aches, partially from crying so much and partially from how brutally Colton fucked it this morning. My eyes are so itchy, and it feels like there’s an unmovable weight on my chest.

Pulling me upright, Xander grabs my wrist. “You don’t have to swing your whole body. Just your arm.” He demonstrates, moving my arm with his. “Now keep going. I doubt Colton will agree to this again, and you don’t want to miss your chance at payback.”

When Xander retreats, I take a second to steady myself. That damn pill hasn’t kicked in yet, and I really need it to. I need to stop feeling like my world is ending.

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