Page 32 of Redeemed

A deep sadness passes across his face before he lowers himself onto the edge of my bed. He still keeps some distance between us, but I think I’m okay now. I’m not as scared as I was earlier.

“I don’t know if there’s a simple answer,” he says quietly. “Usually, I’d say getting to know someone over a long period of time is the best way, but that doesn’t always work. It’s said that people never really change—that they fundamentally stay the same. But in my experience, that’s not true.”

“What do you mean?”

“Someone can be good. Kind, caring, selfless. But… they can lose all that. They can turn into someone awful—someone cruel and greedy who doesn’t care about the people he’s supposed to take care of.”

“Did that happen to someone you know?” I ask softly.

Jaw clenched, Colton nods.

“I’m sorry.” My hand covers his, making him look up at me in surprise.

“It’s all right. One day, I’ll fix it. But… that’s not the point of this conversation. People can change the other way, too. A bad person into a good person. Isn’t that in the Bible or some shit? Well, assuming your cult is a Bible cult?”

I smile. “It is, but it’s not mine.”

“Right. Sorry, that was a stupid thing to say.”

“It’s okay. You’re right. I guess I’m not sure if that’s really true or not. According to the cult’s teachings, a person could only turn good and righteous by the grace of God.”

“And I’m assuming being good didn’t necessarily mean being safe?” He casts me a look that contains more pity than I’m comfortable with, but it’s a soft pity. Acaringpity.

“Yeah. It’s one of the many things that made me doubt the truth I was always taught. How could someone be good if they were violent? How could someone be good if they abused God’s power? And now… well, now I don’t even know if I believe in God, so I don’t even know whatgoodmeans anymore.”

“Let’s just start with trustworthy,” Colton says.

“There’s really no way to know?” I ask helplessly.

“No. You just have to trust your gut and hope you’re not wrong. Now finish your sandwich, angel. You’ve only got a bite or two left.”

Begrudgingly, I do, but I’m not telling him that my stomach feels better. It’d only go to his head.

“That’s better,” he says with a proud smile. “You’ve gotta take care of yourself, Haven.”

“Ido,”I mumble.

With a chuckle, Colton climbs farther onto the bed. “If that were the case, I wouldn’t have to force you to eat.”

“That—I—”

All words leave my mind when Colton pulls me into him. With his back against the wall, he all but lifts me into his lap. My head rests naturally on his shoulder, and my body relaxes without my permission. It’s like it knows it’s safe with him even though my mind doesn’t.

I wish I knew for sure. Iwantto be safe with Colton.

While one of his hands runs up and down my legs, my eyes flutter shut. I didn’t realize how exhausted I was until this very moment. Even while Athelia was here, there was a part of me that was still on high alert. Why it’s settled down with Colton when he’s what set it off earlier is confusing to me, but he’s so firm. So warm. Even as my mind whirs with questions, I find myself melting into him.

My fingers curl into his shirt. “Colt?”

“Hmm?”

“Can I trust you?”

It’s a silly thing to ask. He didn’t tell me I could trust him the night we met, and he’s not going to tell me now. But I need some type of assurance—some sign that I’m not making a mistake by getting invested in the caring yet impatient boy with darkness in his heart.

“I’m a pretty shitty person,” he confesses, “but I always take care of my friends.Always.”

“And you don’t hurt them?” I whisper.

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