Page 9 of Redeemed

A chill creeps across my skin, leaving goosebumps in its wake before settling deep in my chest.I just want to be free.

“I’m sorry to scare you,” Julie says gently. “I’m only suggesting it because I want to keep you safe.”

“Thank you. I’ll be careful.”

“All right.” Finally, she reaches for the doorknob. “Night, Haven.”

The moment the door shuts behind her, doubts fill my mind, snatching away the peace I was hoping I’d find.

If it’s going to be this hard to escape Cornerstone, is that a sign that I never should’ve left?

Am I just rebelling against God? Pretending I don’t think he’s real when, deep down, I know he is?

Are all these worries God’s way of telling me to go back?

If I don’t… am I going to hell? I keep trying to tell myself it doesn’t exist, but I could be wrong.

All of a sudden, this room doesn’t feel as large as I thought. It’s like it’s actively shrinking, and the bright white walls and general lack of warmth in here make me feel trapped.

I have to get out of here.

Grabbing my key card just in case, I stumble out into the hallway. I go to head for the elevator before realizing I don’t know which way to go. To my left and to my right, the corridor looks exactly the same—door after door after door.

Just as I’m about to crumple to the floor in panic, my eyes catch sight of a sign hanging from the ceiling with the word EXIT glowing in red. I dash toward it and find the set of double doors that lead to the elevators.

Pushing through them, I rush toward the nearest elevator, only to come to a screeching halt. The metal doors are shut. I press my hand to it, wondering if I can pry it open, but I don’t think that’s how it’s supposed to work.

How did Julie get it to open?

But I can’t recall how she did it. I was too busy taking in the building itself.

Glancing around, I find another door, this one with a picture of stairs next to it.Perfect.Those, I know how to use.

My heart is beating faster than I thought possible as I rush toward the first floor. I just need to get out of this building, that’s all. Just need some fresh air. Then I’ll be fine.

In the lobby, I force myself to walk at a normal pace, not wanting to disturb the few people sitting in the lounge area. It’s fully dark outside now, but the path is illuminated with light posts. As I slip through the front doors, I bask in their warm glow.

Leaving the cold air of the dorm hall behind, I take a left when the pathway splits, heading away from the parking lot and through a pretty garden. My fingers graze the thick leaves of one of the bushes before moving on to the soft pink flowers sprouting from its stems.

Much better.

Out here, things are more the way I’m used to. Grass, trees, flowers, bushes—all things I’m used to seeing on a regular basis. It’s like a little slice of home even though I’m hours away.

My chest squeezes at the thought. Cornerstone isn’t my home. Not anymore. I don’t ever want to step foot onto their grounds again, yet here I am, searching out the closest thing to it that I can find.

How can I miss a place that caused me so much pain?

My mind wanders to what Julie said earlier about homosexuality, and then to Ruth. Was it not wrong to kiss her? Did I not need to beg God for forgiveness until tears were streaming down my cheeks?

And what does Ruth think of me now? By this point, Isaiah will have noticed I’m gone. He would’ve come home to an empty house yesterday with no wife in his kitchen making him dinner. She was probably one of the first people he called, after my parents and his.

Is she judging me? Or is she worried?

Probably both.

“You look like you’ve got a lot on your mind,” a masculine voice says from behind me.

I turn, and in the dim light, all I see is a tall man with short, blond hair walking toward me. My stomach drops.

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