Page 111 of Vita Mia

The Resurrection of the Lost

Maddalena, Italy

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MARIETTA OPENED HEReyes in reaction to a sound of movement. There was nothing to see or hear so after a few seconds so she closed them again. Sleep was the only time she felt safe. At first the meds they put her on were a relief, because numbness replaced the ache in her heart. It wasn’t until the numbness replaced everything in her heart that she realized how far gone she had become. She didn’t dream. She had Lorenzo and Lorenza in her dreams. With the drugs she suffered alone, so she pretended to take them. She chose depression over numbness. It kept her alive. And as the days of isolation turned to months she disappeared as much as she could into her own mind and dark thoughts. They say that the insane were sent to Maddalena. But the truth was, the sane became insane behind its walls. It wasn’t just the patients. It was everyone from the staff to the psychiatric professionals. There was permanent madness embodied in the place.

“Mary?”

“Leave me alone mama, I want to sleep,” Marietta said softly.

“Something is coming Mary,” Lisa whispered.

Marietta turned over. Her mother was a constant companion to her without the drugs. The irony was she first started seeing her mother when Lorenzo started sedating her. Now her mother was before again staring upward at the moonlight. Its glowing luminance slid through the window slats that were at least twenty feet above Marietta’s cot. It fell over her mother and captured her mother’s face and form in an ethereal way.

“Come, something is different?”

Marietta sat up. Lately her mother made no sense. Seeing and hearing things in the middle of the night and waking her to ask if she was ready wasn’t a normal part of her “crazy” visions. A deeper part of Marietta’s consciousness understood that her mother wasn’t really present and her subconscious was speaking. She understood that it was all part of her losing her own sanity. Still, she relied on the vision just to keep her mental thoughts forming. It had been almost ten months since she was locked in hell. Nine months in Maddalena felt like nine years.

“Ma, what is it now?” Marietta pushed up from her cot to stand. She wore an oversized, thin, white gown that kept slipping from her shoulders, and she was barefoot because the hospital socks made her feet itch. Her feet shuffled when she walked and the floor felt as if she traveled over ice. Her hair had grown so tangled and long she didn’t bother to move it from her face so she could see. What was there to see?

Marietta made it to the center of the floor to share the moonlight.

Her mother put her hands on her shoulders. “Close your eyes.”

She did.

“Do you feel it?”

She shook her head no.

“Relax, breathe.”

She inhaled through her nose and breathed through her mouth.

“Now, try again.”

Marietta let go a deep exhale.

“Do you feel it?”

“Feel what mama?” she frowned.

“It’s coming. It’s coming to you.”

“What is?” Marietta asked.

“If you relax and wait you’ll see.”

Marietta stood there for a long moment. Typically, when she stood too long she swayed. Her lack of vitamins and nutrients had her weak and lethargic. But she stood as perfectly still as she could. Nothing came for her. Slow and easy her eyes opened. She was alone. She looked around for her mother and shrugged. She knew her mother’s ghost would return soon. She shuffled back to the bed and collapsed upon it. She didn’t know if it were near morning. The darkness came and went and she never could tell. She drifted for what felt like a short time before she woke.

“Dress! Now!” she was ordered.

A more fitting uniform was dropped on her. This happened at times. Mostly when she was taken to the doctors for a physical or to be questioned. Marietta groaned. And continued to cling to her need for sleep.

“Now!” the nurse said and kicked the bed.

She sat up ready to attack her jailer but she was accompanied by two men who would break her in half if she tried. She glared at the woman from under her hair and snatched the clothes. She dressed in front of them. There was no point in modesty. They had stripped her of everything months ago. When she was done she was grabbed by the arm and forcibly removed from her room. Tossed into the corridor, she was made to walk. Marietta scratched her back. Her skin felt chaffed and she was cold all over. But she didn’t bother to complain. She glanced to her left and saw her mother walking at her side.

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