Page 3 of Give the Dark My Love

Mama noticed my gaze and wrapped an arm around me. “It’s going to be okay,” she said.

“Of course it is.” Nessie rolled her eyes. “They obviously want you.”

“They didn’t last year,” I said, staring at my fork. Yugen Academy rarely accepted students who weren’t funneled through the private schools and the alchemical tutors hired by the elite. Last year, I’d applied to join the program and was soundly denied.

“Well, they’re paying you this year,” Nessie said. “Quit pretending to be humble.”

I wasn’t pretending. The scholarship that would take care of my room, board, and tuition at Yugen this year was astounding, even more so since such scholarships were rarely awarded. But somehow the pride of it—of having my dreams not only come true, but also be financed—was buried under the fear and worry of leaving behind the only home I’d ever known... especially if Papa didn’t want me to go.

“Besides, what would you do if you stayed here?” Nessie asked.

“Steal Kava from you,” I shot back, smiling as Nessie pretended to have been pierced in the heart by my betrayal.

But my focus drifted away as breakfast wore on. I’d thought I wanted normal on my last day at home, but normal made me sad.

The next time I came here, it would be as a guest. After I walked through that door, this would no longer be home.

“You’remeantto do this,” Nessie said in an exaggerated whisper.

“I am,” I replied immediately, and was somewhat surprised that it felt true, despite my reservations.

“So humble,” Nessie mocked, but Mama gazed at me with pride. My eyes slid away from her beaming smile.

“You’ll do important things,” Mama promised.

“I’ll try,” I mumbled. I was going to Yugen to become a medical alchemist, and once I’d mastered my craft, I would return here, to the north, to help the sick. I wanted to learn everything—not just about the everyday ills and injuries that needed healing, but also cures and treatments for the more obscure diseases, like the Wasting Death.

My stomach twisted. Despite the scholarship and my family’s faith, I still wasn’t sure I was good enough to go toe-to-toe with the other students at Yugen.

Mama kissed the top of my head. “You’re like your father,” she said gently. “You never know what to do with your emotions.”

Papa strode to the doorway, stomping the mud off his boots on the large flat stone in front of the back door. “Ready?” he said, his voice gruff.

I nodded silently.

“No!” Ernesta cried in overexaggerated anguish. She threw her arms around me, dramatic as always, but it was Mama’s soft farewell that broke my heart. I gently pried myself away from them as Papa turned silently back to the mule cart. He already had the reins in his hands as I climbed up to sit beside him, and before I was settled, he clucked his tongue, and our mule, Jojo, lumbered toward the road.

My hand moved nervously to my hip bag. I fingered the cloth, identifying each item by its feel through the coarse material. My pen set, a gift from Nessie. Wrapped bread, from Mama. An old alchemy book, the binding cracked. I’d found it on one of Papa’s many bookshelves. It was handwritten, part journal, part guide. My great-grandmother had died when I was less than a year old, but she’d been a potion maker for the village and kept all her notes inside this book. She passed it on to my grandmother, who’d given it to my father, who’d tucked it on a shelf and forgotten about it. I’d come across it three years ago, and soon after, I started dreaming of becoming an alchemist, using the herbs and techniques my great-grandmother detailed in order to help heal others.

There was only one main road in the north, curving around the center of Lunar Island’s top arm, with dozens of little villages blossoming along the edge. Our village was beyond the carmellina gate. When we passed the church hall, Papa touched the three-knotted cord he wore around his neck. After a moment, I did the same.

Papa made his living traveling up and down this main road, stopping in every small village to distribute books and messages. When I was little, I thought I might join his trade, eventually getting a book cart of my own. Like him, I’d journey from village to village, passingout stories for others to read and meeting new and interesting people. Nessie never wanted anything more than to stay in our village and flirt with the same people we’d gone to school with, but I knew I wanted more. I wanted something bigger. I’d told myself that just going past the carmellina gate, just following in my father’s footsteps would be enough. I’d tried to believe that.

It was Papa who told me I should read the books instead of sell them; it was he who first encouraged me to apply to Yugen Academy, saying I’d taught myself more than that school could anyway, so I might as well show up and take the alchemical robes.

But it was Papa who now glowered at the road, disappointment evident on his face.

“I’m sorry,” I said as Jojo plodded down the road.

Papa’s eyes widened. “For what?” He turned his gaze from me quickly and clucked his tongue at the mule.

“For going,” I answered in a small voice. My scholarship would pay my way, but it wouldn’t give my father help when the cart needed unloading, or pay the butcher when Mama ran out of meat, or help Nessie with the chores I was leaving behind. The cost of an education like the one I’d get at Yugen was far more than any scholarship could cover, and it was my family who would sacrifice for me.

Papa yanked the reins, pulling Jojo up short. The mule didn’t care; she ambled to the side of the road and started munching on a low-hanging branch of tigga leaves.

Papa turned to me. “Nedra,” he said, his voice softer and kinder than it had been all day, “I’m not mad at you for going.”

“Disappointed then,” I said, sliding my eyes away.

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