Page 37 of Full Speed to a Crash Landing

I don’t like it.

But I also kind of do.

I’m not used to this, trust. The easiness of sitting at a table and sharing a meal and feeling like there’s nothing to hide. It’s...weird.

“You know,” First says, “you could be a part of the regular crew, if you wanted. Captain said so.”

I shoot a glance at Rian. “Told you she loves me.”

He cocks an eyebrow. “Loveis a strong word.”

I ignore that and turn back to First. “I suppose climbing up the rift was my interview?”

“At least you didn’t have to supply five different references and a background check,” Saraswati mutters.

Background check. They’ve probably already run one on me. Not something too intense—communication is still slow, but theHalifaxmight have a data linkup that could ping off the portals for some quick info, the basics. I dip my fork into my mashed potatoes, swirling the melted yellow into the creamy white. When I look up at Rian, he’s watching me intently.Definitelydid a background check.

“I can’t join this crew,” I say, eyes sliding from his. “I’d be bored to death. But I’ll hitch a ride to civilization.”

“Well, we have you for a few weeks at least, then, anyway,” Rian says softly.

Something biting and sarcastic is just waiting to fall out of my mouth, but then...nothing.

He lifts his water bottle in the air. “To Ada.”

The others pause their meal, also lifting their glass.

Oh, no.

Oh, I hate this.

“The bravest of us all,” Magnusson adds.

“Or the stupidest,” Saraswati says. “There’s no way in hell I’d have gone down there, even with your jetpack, Ada.”

“It’s a good jetpack,” I say.

“Not good enough,” Magnusson says. “It got you down there but not back up.”

I swallow the automatic response rising in my throat. I’mproud of my suit, proud of its mods, most of which I’ve done myself. I force my shoulders down and say, “It all worked out.”

Saraswati nods. “The rest of this is going to be tedious but not nearly as dangerous. Most of the debris field is relatively stable, far enough away from the existing fault line that I don’t think we’re going to have any more dramatic quakes that directly impact our search.”

“That’s too bad.” I fake a groan, and the others all laugh, and the conversation swings around to regular chatter.

After the boxes are empty, I take my tray back to the dispenser and get some of the regular food. Lentils aren’t quite as exciting now that I’ve had meat, but they’re still better than what I’d been living off of. As I slurp it down, I let myself pretend.

Pretend that Saraswati and Nandina can be my friends. That First and the captain like me. That Magnusson sees meas an equal, which is about the highest praise I think the man could give.

That Rian . . .

I can pretend.

For just this night.

15

When the meal is done, the others drift off until it’s just me and Rian. All the boxes are empty now.

---